


The Thorn that Hurts the Most

by Tanagariel



Series: The Thorn that Hurts the Most [1]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drama, F/F, Forbidden Love, Romance, cophine - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-15 14:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 55,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1309039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanagariel/pseuds/Tanagariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosima Niehaus is a high school student in San Francisco and is utterly, deeply, madly in love with her teacher Ms. Delphine Cormier.Things will start to heat when Delphine realizes that she is harboring feelings for Cosima, feelings that cross the line between teacher and student. The shit hits the fan when Cosima’s parents find out and they move to Minneapolis. Will this forbidden love stand a chance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, a huge thank you to my super beta glynnbearboo.tumblr.com currently as cosima-hella-niehaus.tumblr.com this kiddo knows her shit so follow her.  
> If you have questions, comments or feedback please contact me at tanagarielrunsonduncan.tumblr.com and if you really dig my stories please spread the word, that motivates a lot and when I am motivated, trust me, I work hella fast XD  
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read my shit, you have made me a better writer.

It was a Saturday morning, mid-October. Rain fell softly on the worn asphalt outside, but the sky was overcast, so the long tendrils of sun didn’t reach her through her bedroom’s heavy curtains. She didn’t have to wake up yet, as there was no school today, so she burrowed back into the warmth of her blankets for just a bit more.

 

School was good, she thought. She was in her senior year, with stellar grades and guaranteed admission at any University she chose. Clever as a fox, she could pursue anything she wanted. So why her personal life couldn’t be as great? She tended to be a loner, and her usual ramblings were barely understood by the average student. It was hard to make friends when they didn’t get her, didn’t understand her or her dextrous use of jargon that was far beyond her years, so she focused all her attention to her studies (and weed, of course), because her personal life sucked. How dare that bitch _Karen_ use her like that. She had really thought she cared, but no, she dumped her as soon as that freakin’ exchange student arrived.

 

Cosima Niehaus, 17 years old, complete loser. Yeah, that was her. At least she could find refuge in her love for science, science could never lie to her, and science was perfect.

“Shit.” Her mind wouldn’t stop now that her thought process had fired up for the day, so she had to actually get out of bed now. She threw the covers off of her bed and trudged sleepily to the bathroom, showering fairly quickly. She walked over to her full-length mirror to check her herself out. Long, slightly wavy chestnut brown hair cascaded over her shoulders onto her red tank top. Long black leggings matched her wornout flats. Black rimmed glasses framed her free-makeup face; she wore a few bracelets on both arms and a couple of silver rings on each hand.  She turned around to check her back and smiled, showing teeth that had lived a lifetime of being well-cared for.

“Looking good, Niehaus,” she said to her reflection, grinning contently.

She went downstairs to meet both her parents. Her dad was a computer engineer and her mom a botanist, both were really laid out people and never bothered her much, they were nice people but their work absorbed the majority of their time. Her mother was the one who had taught her the benefits of weed to an early age for medical purposes, but never did her mother once consider that she had made Cosima curious enough to try it out last year. Since then she bought her supplies from Helena, the weird Ukrainian girl that lived on Haight street, so she might as well go and buy some today, ‘cus her stash was empty.

 

“Hey kiddo, whatcha you up to? Going to hang out with Scott today?” Her dad asked.

“Nah, I couldn’t sleep, so here I am. I’ll go to the library to research something that Mr. Beraud showed us in class. We’re going to start stem cell development, so I’d like to find out more about that.” She sat at the table, took the cereal box and milk and prepared her breakfast. She ate quickly, not bothering to make conversation with her parents. They all constantly lived in their own little worlds and thus were pretty busy most of the time. She cleaned her dishes, grabbed her small backpack and left for the library.

 

 

She spent most of her day doing research and reading about literature, religion and whatever topic piqued her interest. She spent hours reading about stem cells and immunology. This was a topic that had sparked her interest while she had been researching. The hours passed by quickly and she was very entertained, until her stomach growled, complaining of hunger. Cosima stared at the clock and sighed. It was already past 12, but, she had nothing better to do, really. She could call Scott, one of her few friends, and they could go to the arcade to try to fit in with the cool kids, or have fun on their own geeking out about Star Wars or Lord of the Rings at her house. She was pretty hungry though, so her best option was to go to the mall that was nearby, have lunch and spend the rest of her afternoon there; yet, she also had to buy her pot. What to do first? Decisions, decisions. Cosima tilted her head thinking, _food or weed first_?

“Pot it is!”

 

As usual, Cosima went to Haight street, where a lot of homeless and raggedy people smoked; she kept walking around, looking for her dealer. “She’s probs on the hippie hill.” Cosima kept walking down the sidewalk. About a block and a half later, she finally spotted the clouds of smoke rising. She continued down her path and she finally found Helena, who was doing shady business with another guy. Cosima waited until the other man disappeared to approach her.

“Hey dude, how’re ya doin’?” Cosima smiled at the pale Ukrainian.

“Hello friend. The usual?” The girl with bloodshot eyes seemed a bit drugged herself, and her accent was thicker than usual.

“Yeah, yeah, right.” She took the package and handed the money to Helena.

“You sure you don’t want to try anything else, yes?” Helena asked.

“Nah, just pot for me. Take care.” Cosima put her stash in her handbag and strolled back down the street.

She was tempted to smoke on her way, but it was better do it from her comfortable bed when her folks left to do whatever they did at their workplaces. Now, her next stop, the mall.

 

 

It was more interesting to go window shopping and simply observe than anything else; she learned so much from just observing. She absorbed everything like a sponge, simply marveled by the simplest things. She jammed her earbuds in and blasted _Must be a Devil_ by Diplo and began to roam around the crowded shops. Cosima entered a clothing store where she checked out some tops and skirts, but nothing caught her attention, and her music playlist was kinda sucking a _lot_ right now, so she took out her iPod and searched for a song while she walked, completely unaware of the the blonde woman in her path. “ _Genesis_ by Grimes, perfect!” When she pressed play, when she lifted her eyes from her device it was already too late. She bumped the taller woman who was distracted as well, and the other woman’s shopping bags fell to the floor, along with the contents of Cosima’s handbag .

“Shit!” Cosima yanked out her earbuds and immediately started to pick up the bags on the floor without paying much attention to the woman until she spoke.

“Sorry, I did not see you there!” An accent resonated musically through her ears.

Cosima looked at her and it was like she was struck by lightning. The woman’s wavy blonde her cascaded down to her shoulders, and beautiful brown eyes, rosy lips and porcelain skin stared back at her.

 

“Erh, no, no, my fault, so sorry.” She finished putting objects into the woman’s bags and stood up, to only marvel at the height of the other woman. She felt 3 feet taller than her.

“Oh, I think this belongs to you, oui?” The woman showed her a small package.

“Crap, yeah.” Cosima was a bit embarrassed that the gorgeous woman had found her weed, but she shoved the paraphernalia inside her pocket and changed topics quickly.

“You’re French, aren't you?” She gave her the cutest smile she had in her arsenal. The woman nodded.

“Cool, I’m Cosima.” She extended her hand. The Frenchie shook it.

“Delphine, enchantée.”

“Enchantée.” She tried her best French accent and thanked Mrs. Fournier for dealing with her shit during French classes and taking the time to teach her the basics.

“Well, take care, Cosima, and my apologies.” Delphine smiled and waved goodbye.

“You too, Delphine.” Cosima kept her eyes fixed on the tall beauty, her heart rate accelerated, and it felt like it was about to burst of out her chest. Cosima drank all her features, memorizing each detail as best as she could. She had never felt so attracted to someone before, not even her ex-girlfriend. It was like she found an angel in hell, or water in the desert. She needed to see more of her, she had to, so she stalked her a little, but discreetly, casually.

 

Delphine was talking on the cellphone in French, so she had no idea what she was saying or to whom she was talking, but she hoped was her mother and not a boyfriend. Whatever it was she was discussing about, she made it sound like the sexiest thing on earth. She could be talking about buying a hair dryer, yet she made it sound so hot.

Her stomach grumbled again. It was really time to get that lunch, but she really didn’t want to stop stalking the French.

“No! You are _not_ stalking Delphine; you just want to learn a bit more about her.” She said it out loud to reaffirm her treacherous thoughts. The French goddess stopped at a coffee shop, bought some pastries and coffee and sat herself in a corner. Cosima took the chance to buy some Chinese food, which was the only thing in front of the coffee shop. She kept staring constantly at the table in front of her, not wanting to miss a moment with her.

 

“Excuse me?” A female voice interrupted her thoughts. Cosima pulled her earbuds out of her ears to pay attention to whoever was bothering her observation. She turned her head to find standing on her side the exchange student for which that bitch/ex-girlfriend Karen Douglas had dumped her for.

“Is this seat taken?” The brit’s accent was not as sweet and kind as Delphine’s French. This girl addressed her like she was a pawn, a peasant. Too snobby for her.

“Nope.” Cosima put in her earbuds and returned to eating her meal.

“Rumor has it that Karen left you for me, is that right?” the girl asked.

Cosima rolled her eyes and sighed, taking her earbuds out again and said “Yeah she left me, end of story. I don’t care what you two are doing, okay?”

“I just want to clarify that I rejected her, I’m not interested.” She tilted her head, a small smile in place.

“Hey, I don’t care. Whatever, dude. Now leave me alone.” This girl was distracting her from Delphine.

“Of course, just wanted to be clear with you. I would rather have you as a friend. Just wanted to let you know. I’ll leave now, see you at school, Cosima.” The girl left as fast as she had come. How the fuck did she know her name?! They weren’t even in any of the same classes. Once again, Cosima turned her sight towards the table where Delphine was having her coffee, but she was gone as well, probably lost forever. Cosima sighed in disappointment. There was nothing to be done; she probably would never see her again. She might be on her way home to her boyfriend or husband. Besides that terrible assumption, she could infer that she was a college student, probably with a scholarship. She might be around 24 years old ( _ish, maybe?_ ) and of course, she was French. Anyways, it was time to get back home and smoke that weed she had in her pocket.

 

 

 

Monday morning came, which meant another day at school. Cosima was at her locker, trying to yank the books for her classes out. The bell was going to ring in a couple of minutes.

“Hey.” Cosima looked to her left side to see her friend Scott smiling awkwardly at her.

“Hey Scott, did you finish that essay for today?” Cosima packed all her things inside her backpack, slamming her locker shut; at that instant the bell rang.

“Yeah, I had a couple of things I want you to like, check.”

“Sure thing.” Both of them walked to their classroom, they had calculus, literature, biology and chemistry today. They entered their first class; Calculus with Mr. Norris. Cosima did her calculus practice in half the time than the rest of her classmates, so she got bored rather quickly. Cosima started to scribble in her notebook and the image of her French goddess came into her mind. She started to draw, trying to picture each detail of her magical hair.

“Who’s that?” Scott saw the doodle in Cosima’s notebook, but she shut it quickly, trying to hide the image.

“No one, just  pay attention dude.”

The day moved on as usual, but in her mind she could not stop thinking about Delphine. She was obsessed with her, like when she obsessed over solving a puzzle; that was the mysterious woman to her, the most incredible puzzle she had ever seen. Too bad she had to accept that she was never going to see her again.

Half the day came and passed, and at fifth period she and Scott went to her favorite class, Biology. She knew she wanted to keep learning more about the theories and new developments in this subject; she was interested in ecology, species interactions and evolution. So she probably was going to pursuit a similar career in the future. If only old Mr. Beraud taught the class in a more interesting manner. She pulled on her lab coat, sleeve by sleeve, and seated with Scott at the farthest table, prepping her microscope, when suddenly Principal Leekie strolled into the laboratory room.

 

“Good morning, students. I am here to inform you all that Mr. Beraud won’t be coming back to teach. He is retiring because of health issues, and to that we wish him the best.

Some students gasped, others started to gossip.

“Great, now we can expect another old lady to teach us. Or maybe that other sub, what was her name?” Cosima was not amused by the news, but what did surprise her was the person who walked in. The murmuring of the classroom dropped to a nonexistent level when they walked through the doorway.

“Don’t worry students, let me introduce your new teacher. Please welcome Ms. Delphine Cormier.”

She wasn’t dreaming, it was the French beauty, Delphine. She pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose, like if she could stare at her better with her glasses properly adjusted.

“Thank you, Principal.” Delphine approached her desk, drew out some documents from her bag and took her seat. It was clear that she caused quite the impression. The boys were drooling and the girls, yeah they were too. Delphine started to call attendance with her beautiful accent and her perfect smile. Cosima was bedazzled by her; she simply couldn’t believe her luck.

“Niehaus.” Delphine called, but no one responded.

“Niehaus?” The teacher called again. this time Scott elbowed Cosima and she raised her hand sluggishly.

“Here.” When Delphine looked at her, she saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes. Yeah, she remembered her too. She smiled back in response, and Delphine kept calling names.

Once done, Delphine proceeded to talk about their current topic of practical stem cell uses. Delphine explained the concepts with such a deep and intensely vast knowledge, which impressed the young brunette. She completely disregarded the idea of dumb blondes. Delphine knew her shit. For such a young woman, her knowledge was incredible.

Cosima had never enjoyed biology so much in her life. It didn’t meant that with her previous teachers were boring; they simply lacked the passion that Delphine exuded.

The hour ended too fast. The bell rang and the class was dismissed. Cosima waited until everybody else left, she really needed to talk to her.

“You staying?” Scott asked.

“I need to ask some things I didn’t get, you go ahead Scott.” Scott smiled and nodded, and then she was alone with Delphine, who was at her desk, arranging her things on the desk, awaiting her next class.

 

Cosima approached silently, right when she was in front of the other woman she cleared her throat, Delphine raised her sightline.

“Hey Delph, er, I mean Ms. Cormier.”

“Bonjour Cosima, you need something?” She raised her eyebrow curiously.

“Ah, your class was hella rad.” Delphine furrowed her brows, not quite understanding.

“It was awesome; I really dig what you talked about stem cells therapy for autoimmune diseases.” Cosima was now rambling about the class, which she thought it was pathetic but Delphine paid attention with interest. In return the young student blushed.

“You really know about this Cosima, you are interested in these topics?” Delphine asked.

“Yeah, sure, I like this subject, and you really seem to know a lot. Are you a doctor or something?” Cosima tilted her head, her long hair cascading over her shoulder.

“Oh _non_ , not yet. I am a research student at UCSF, I am interested in the field of immunology,” Delphine said with pride.

“Whoa, that’s really impressive.” Cosima was in complete awe. This was the perfect woman, beautiful, hot as hell, intelligent and charming.

“Well I think you should go to class now, you’re going to be late.” Delphine gave her one of those cute smiles, highlighting her dimples.

“Oh don’t worry I’m always late, so... kind of always sorry.”  Cosima started to walk backwards towards the door, lost in the French girl’s face, and when she turned around, of course, she hit the doorjamb.

“Shit, er, sorry” Cosima fixed her glasses over her face and this time opened the door carefully and left. Once the door closed, she leaned back on the wall off to the side and exhaled slowly.

“You have the hots for the teacher. That. Is. A. Fact.” The rest of the school year was going to be really exciting; she couldn’t wait to see Ms. Delphine Cormier again.

She moved on to her next classes with a smile on her face. Nothing could ruin her happiness; for once, lady luck was on her side. She wanted to be her number one student, she was going to rock so much biology and become her favorite student. That was her goal.

 

 

 

That night she dreamt of her. Soft blonde curls, whispering in her ear, touching and kissing her, saying cute things in French that she didn’t understood. She unbuttoned her shirt skillfully and trailed kisses down her torso, going lower, lower and she was getting so close to where she wanted her, so damn close and then she woke up, hot and sweaty and breathing heavily. She walked to the bathroom and splashed her face with cold water. She looked at her reflection in the mirror straight in the eyes, and noticing her flushed expression. “You are in _deep_ _shit_.”


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of weeks had passed since Ms. Delphine Cormier arrived at her high school and Cosima was living in a dream. It was almost impossible to believe that precisely that woman was teaching her; Biology classes were a delight. Delphine explained in a very scientific way all the details of the process they studied and analyzed data like a pro. Cosima couldn’t be happier to have her as her teacher, besides the fact she was extremely hot. This was a win-win situation for her.

Cosima blew the smoke out of her lungs.  She was hiding under the bleachers on the football field, smoking a joint during the break before going to another class of AP Government with Ms. Fitzsimmons. Cosima was reviewing her textbook, _Government in America_ , while taking another long drag. Today she wore her hair loose, and donned a red jacket and under it a blue tank top that matched her black leggings. She was seated, cross legged with her notebook precariously balanced between them.

 

She was taking notes and writing ideas to discuss with the teacher when her cellphone bleeped, announcing a text message. She took the device out from her pocket and checked the message. It was Scott, who was waiting for her at the school library to discuss their laboratory report due tomorrow. She wanted to deliver the best report to Delphine; she wanted her to know that she was the number one student in that class, so it was really important to meet up with Scott. She picked up her things and put them inside her backpack. She stood up and with her foot she stomped on the joint and put it out.

 

Cosima was on her way to the library, her earbuds at full volume playing _Infinite_ _Love_ _Without_ _Fulfillment_ by Grimes; on the other side of the field, the jocks practiced with a football, the popular kids milled about on another corner, math club was under the trees solving problems and studying. It was so interesting to see how people tended to group, how each one found their own and how they connected with one another. Cosima was alone by the simple fact that she was lightyears ahead of all this people, they didn’t get her, her uniqueness, her incredible gifted mind and for that, she was alone most of the time. She was passing the cafeteria when she saw with the corner of her eye that stupid Karen. Cosima snarked. That idiot was rejected by Posh Spice and that was perfectly fine with her. “Bitch!” Cosima giggled and kept moving towards the library when she distinguished the most precious unicorn in all of San Francisco, Delphine Cormier.

She had to stop walking, she needed to see her in all her glory. Her long legged stride was elegant, her fluffy blonde hair bounced softly around her shoulders while she walked. She was accompanying Ms. Fitzsimmons, her AP Government teacher.

“Bingo!”

This was her chance, if she interrupted them with the pretext to ask a question for Ms. Fitzsimmons before the class, she could probably get away with it. She hated the days when she didn’t had Biology. She only had classes with Delphine a couple of hours per week and today she didn’t have science classes. She wanted to be close enough to smell her perfume, to hear her voice just for a while. That was all she wanted.

Cosima changed course. Scott could wait a bit more. Right now she had to get close to them as fast as she could. She put away her earbuds, quickyl rearranged her hair and intersected both teachers.

“Excuse me, Ms. Fitzsimmons, may I speak with you for a minute? Um, hello Ms. Cormier, how are you today?” Cosima flashed her white teeth; her stomach did a little somersault when Delphine answered.

“Hello Cosima, it is a lovely day, _oui_?” Delphine enthralled her, it was like witchcraft. This woman was her center of her world now.

“What can I do for you, Niehaus?” Ms. Fitzsimmons was as young as Delphine, maybe two or three years older. She was always tanned because she was also the school’s swim team coach.

 

“Ah, right, yes, I was wondering about the, um, you know, the, the, yes, the ideological self-identification surveys…” Cosima’s hands were moving in circles up and down, everywhere. That was how she tried to communicate her quick speed of thought with to world but in this case neither her words nor her hands made much sense. She lowered her gaze, avoiding the confused stare her teacher gave her. She was being awkward again.

“What do you mean? Is it about the voters? Or the political parties?” Ms. Fitzsimmons was a bit confused, but she tried her best to help Cosima. She knew her student well enough that she had many articles for her to read and interesting essays to write during class. The thirst of knowledge in the young student was evident all the time and she appreciated her a lot. Niehaus was a good kid.

“Ah forget it Ms. Fitz, I’ll go to the library and see what I find. I won’t take much more of your time, uh, thank you.” Cosima smiled, a bit embarrassed and resumed her path to the library.

“Shit, Cosima! You made a fool of yourself in front of Delphine, just great.”

 

She finished her report with Scott and when the bell rang, she walked to the government classroom. She took her seat in her usual back row table and waited for Ms. Fitz to start class. Cosima was glad Delphine was making friends among her peers, which meant that Ms. Fitzsimmons might provide information about her newest obsession. She could ask after the class ended to learn more about Delphine.

Ms. Fitz told them to analyze a text, so Cosima was quick to do as told. She started writing on her notebook when she heard a familiar voice. She frowned, and looked up to see where the voice was coming. Her eyes were wide in horror. _What the hell is Posh Spice doing here?!_ she thought. Once the girl gave a document to Ms. Fitzsimmons, the Brit took a seat near her. Cosima followed her with her gaze, clearly showing her disgust. When the Brit took a seat beside her, that’s when Cosima spoke lowly. “You aren’t in this class, dude.” The other girl turned around to look at her. Cosima did not trust this girl, she could sense the wrongness in her.

“Ah Cosima, but what a coincidence! We’re in the same class _now_. How interesting.” She took out her materials from her bag and put them onto her desk.

“Coincidence? I don’t think so. What do you want?” Cosima did not like these kinds of cat and mouse games. She didn’t have time for this bullshit.

“I want to learn about politics, what’s wrong with that?” she asked innocently. But their whispering was caught by the teacher, who did not hesitate to call their attention.

“Any problems, Duncan? Niehaus?” The teacher looked to both of them, raising an eyebrow.

 

“No ma’am, Cosima was just explaining a few things to me.” She smiled, yet Cosima could see the lies behind that fake smile. Ms. Fitzsimmons looked at Cosima, waiting for another answer, but Cosima shook her head instead of telling the truth. It was better keep this between the two of them.

“All right, get back to work then.”

Cosima looked once more to Posh Spice, who batted her eyelashes and tilted her head slightly. “The name’s Duncan, Rachel Duncan.”

“Right 007, gotcha, now mind your own business.” Cosima ignored the exchange student for the rest of the class. She had no idea why Posh Spice was after her, but she didn’t like it. That girl, she had to admit, intimidated her a bit.

 

 

 

The next day, Cosima was again in her favorite class with her favorite teacher. Today Delphine was explaining the process of amplifying the DNA samples they extracted the previous class in the lab. Yet, Cosima was getting frustrated. She tried to answer all the questions but Delphine simply ignored her. She preferred to ask the students who did not paid much attention or the ones that once in a awhile got distracted, and that was infuriating.

Once she gave the instructions all students put on their goggles and latex gloves to start processing their samples. As usual, Cosima was with Scott. They were doing, or actually she was doing all the work. She wanted to have Delphine to herself so bad, she did not realize that Scott was standing there without doing his part.

“Dude, let me try it, you’ve been doing everything so far!” Scott complained. But Cosima was focused on perfection, she wanted to-

“Niehaus?”

Cosima removed her gaze from the microscope and looked at Delphine. “Let your partner practice as well, _oui_?” As soon as another student raised his hand, Delphine forgot about her and sauntered off to the next table. Cosima sighed, moving away from the microscope to give Scott a chance. She observed the other groups and noticed that some assholes just called for stupid things that they already knew, they just wanted her close, the fuckers.

 

“This is stupid!” She was pissed now, she took off her gloves, went to the trash bin to throw them in. The frustration of being ignored and to be scolded was starting to put her in a bad mood. She had no idea why she was feeling like this. She was seriously getting mad, which didn’t made much sense when you thought logically about it. She tried to focus on what Scott was doing, and when she noticed that she added too much of a substance she simply exploded.

“God damn it Scott, not like that!” Instead of hitting the table with her hand, she landed the hit over some test tubes, which she broke, the glasses slicing the palm of her hand open. When Cosima looked at her hand the blood started to flow through her arm, staining white lab coat a dark crimson.

“Shit.” She tried to hide the mess she made, but it was going to be impossible.

“Niehaus? Everything okay? Delphine asked, voice stern.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah it’s nothing, really.” Cosima tried to dismiss her teacher, but when Delphine approached to see what was going on her demeanor changed.

“Mon Dieu!” Delphine gasped, “Nothing? You have _glass_ buried in your hand. Cosima, come here.” The bell rang at that instant. “Remember for next class the analysis, you guys.” Delphine called out before the students left, but caught Cosima going to pick up her backpack.

“Don’t be stubborn Cosima, come here.”

 

Cosima was seriously embarrassed to be in this situation. It was completely her fault. Delphine offered her a chair beside her desk. She took out her first aid kit and put it onto the desk.

“Let me see.” Cosima lifted her hand to Delphine, who took it carefully. She cleaned the wound first, which burnt like hell. Cosima hissed, but kept the pain at bay. Then she proceeded to take out the pieces of glass from her hand with a pair of precise tweezers. Cosima should be complaining but she was lost in her face, the way Delphine’s eyes were fixed on her hand doing her best to take out the shards was beautiful. Delphine looked at her and her cheeks flushed. She gulped, her throat suddenly dry.

“Now, let’s put on a bandage.” Delphine threw her gloves into the bin and cut a piece of gauze to cover the wound. Her hands felt so warm and soft, the way she held her hand like the most precious thing in the world was the most comforting feeling ever. She wanted this moment to last forever.

“Why are you ignoring me, Delphine?” She addressed her by her name now that they were alone. Delphine frowned at her when she faced her. “I’m not ignoring you.” she smiled and kept working.

“Then why don’t you pay attention to me? You’d rather listen to those idiots who don’t care about the class.” Cosima was behaving like a six year old. She knew she was being pathetic but she needed to understand why.

“I know that you know Cosima, your face says it all, your hands speak for you, but I have to try to grab the interest of your classmates. They are the ones that need more supervision, but just because I do, does not mean that I am not paying attention to the rest of you.” Delphine smiled once she was completely satisfied.

“You need to be patient with them.” Delphine put her hand over her left shoulder and continued. “I know you can feel trapped sometimes, when you are so far away from the rest of the class, but I need you to do the best to help them, _s’il vous plait_ ,Cosima”

 

How on earth could she deny anything to her? She was speechless, she couldn’t say anything. Delphine understood her more than her own parents, for fuck’s sake! How was it possible that this woman knew so much about her just by teaching her?

“Right, um, I’m sorry.” She was so ashamed. Delphine leaned closer to her to face her straight into her eyes, she was so close that she could lean a bit more and kiss her. _Crap, abort Cosima, abort right now, that is stupid, nope, stop!_.

She straightened her back to put a bit more space between them. Delphine looked at her with those deep brown eyes, but her lips looked so glorious. _Eyes up, eyes up!_ She looked back into the depth of her eyes.

“Yeah, you are right, like, I need to be patient, yeah.” She gave her a small smile, which Delphine returned kindly.

 

“You have to go now, and if you feel any more pain go to the infirmary.” Delphine released her hand and the world turned dull and boring again. She nodded and went to pick up her things to move on to her next class. Delphine smile was so beautiful, she could stare at her forever, but she was already late for her next class.

“Um, thanks for this.” Cosima lifted her bandaged hand to wave goodbye and walked out of the laboratory classroom. Once she was out of sight, she couldn’t hide the huge grin she had on her face anymore. She was so happy it was ridiculous.

 

 

 

 

Once she returned home from school she was met by her father in the living room. Her father was working on his computer, probably developing another piece of software.

“Hey Cosima, how was school today?” Her father kept typing on his computer.

“It was cool, great actually.” She smiled again, it was really stupid to be in this state of floating around like a fool just because Delphine took her hand _to cure you idiot, that didn’t meant anything to her_ , she thought.

“Glad to hear that, kid.” He kept working without even noticing her bandaged hand. That was the way it was. They expected her to be the best, to deal with her shit alone, to be independent because she was clever, so they rarely paid attention to her because she could take care of it on her own. Not that she minded too much, but once in a while a bit of pampering and attention would be okay.

“Hey dad, could you do me a fav- whoa, is that binary?” Cosima approached her dad, when she noticed what he was decoding she got immediately interested. That was how her brain worked; curiosity always got the best of her.

“Yeah, it’s kind of old fashioned but still in use now, sweetie.” Her dad showed her in his screen what he was doing and how he was decoding it, and she absorbed the info like a sponge. Once his dad was done with his explanations she went to the kitchen to prep a quick meal. After that, she went upstairs to her bedroom, opened the windows, lit on a joint and turned on her laptop, she blasted electronic music through her speakers and she hacked into the high school computer system; she needed to find certain info pertaining to her favorite teacher.

 

“Alright, here we go.” She typed in her keyboard and clicked the mouse several time, her eyes scanning the screen until she found Delphine’s personal profile. Her hand was hurting a bit but she didn’t mind. She took a long drag from her joint and blew it out.

“Perfect.” She accessed the staff profile and clicked on Delphine’s name.

“Hmm, here it is.” With a pencil she copied the address into her notepad. “Not far from here, I can make a surprise visit with a super lame excuse.”

She kept typing for a while when she had an idea to check the student’s personal files. She type DUNCAN, RACHEL. _ENTER_ , she tapped into the keyboard, but the system did not found any file.

“What the eff? ‘ _Does not exist_?” She kept typing smashing the keyboard with speed and dexterity.

“But why? Even as an exchange student Posh Spice is supposed to have an open file.” But the system was empty, which meant that maybe she had to have a physical file at the principal’s office. That must be the only explanation for the lack of info. The joint smoldered between her fingers while she thought about this mystery. When her cellphone made a bleep, she checked the screen to see the text, it was from Scott letting her know that he had done his part of the report.

“Well, let’s hope Ms. Cormier knows binary!” Cosima smirked and started to complete her report to e-mail it to Delphine.


	3. Chapter 3

She was up ‘til very late, grading papers and reports. She had to finish preparing her lesson plans for next week and she still had pending her own research paper analysis for her immunology class as well.

Delphine Cormier never thought that being a teacher was going to be such an intense line of work. Yet, it was interesting to meet these kids with all their funny personalities and needs. From the lazy ones, to the brilliant ones, all of them were full of life and energy, with dreams to fulfill. Some students were kind of lost, not knowing what to do with her future, others were clearer to where they wanted to go with their life. Being a teen was a beautiful time to discover all of that.

 

She remembered her own days as a high school student in Paris; she was the nerdy type, studying like crazy to not disappoint her _mère_ , being the best she could be, yet she had to admit that one part of her regretted not being in the parties and doing wild things with her classmates. She could not remember a time where she did anything against the rules, she was so obedient. She had to admit that she was a bit jealous of the kids that escaped at midnight from their windows to go to a rave, or how they sneaked out of a class to go and kiss their loved one in school. She sighed, the nostalgia of the past, the regret of missing great things.

 

She put all the grades in the school database and closed her laptop; walked to her table in the living room and took one cigarette from her purse. She walked outside of her house and lit the cigarette on. She took a drag and blew the smoke slowly. It was a chilly night, perfect to drink wine and be with someone to cuddle in the swing in her porch. But she was alone, just because she had something with Aldous did not mean that she wanted to cuddle with him. There thing was more artificial, it was just something temporary. Though, he was the one who offered the opportunity to work at the school and she was grateful for the chance, she didn’t find much appeal in him; the man was intelligent, brilliant, and much older, but that was all she saw in him.

  


She wondered how one would feel when in love, what was love? She had no idea, she had relationships in the past, but none of them were like she couldn’t breathe without the other person, she didn’t feel the need to be with them as frequent as she saw other couples. Maybe something was wrong with her, maybe she was too weird, maybe it was because she didn’t fit the stupid blonde stereotype when she went to dates, so she ended disappointing the other person. No one respected her mind, no one got her.

She finished her cigar, put out the butt in the ashtray and went in. Tomorrow she had to be early at work. She had a lot of classes to prep, so instead of roaming around late at night she went straight to bed.

 

 

 

The next morning Delphine arrived a bit early to try to read the lab reports that the students sent during the weekend. She was with her laptop in the teachers’ lounge. Some teachers were drinking coffee, others reading newspaper.

“Morning Delphine, how’s it going?” a female voice caught her attention.

“Bonjour Jennifer, I’m good, I’m here trying to grade this reports.” Delphine smiled to the government teacher and swim team coach.

“Good for you, I have to read all these essays.” Jennifer showed the stack of papers she had over her desk.

“Good luck with that.” She opened her mail account to check for the laboratory reports. She read and reviewed if her students followed her instructions and if the information was complete. She read each one of them with extreme care. Only when she saw the e-mail address of the next paper she stopped for a second.

“GeekMonkey at gmail dot com” She was amused by the cute e-mail address. She clicked with the mouse the sender’s message and to her surprise she found a message in binary.

0100110101110011001011100010000001000011011011110111001001101101011010010110010101110010001000000100100100100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101100100001000000110000101101110001000000110000101110111011001010111001101101111011011010110010100100000011101110110010101100101011010110110010101101110011001000010110000100000010010010010000001101000011000010111011001100101001000000110000101110100011101000110000101100011011010000110010101100100001000000110110101111001001000000111001001100101011100000110111101110010011101000010111000100000010010010010000001110100011010000110100101101110011010110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000010111001001100101001000000110011101101111011010010110111001100111001000000111010001101111001000000110110001101111011101100110010100100000011010010111010000101110000011010000101001000011011011110111001101101001011011010110000100101110

“Well, what do we have here?”  Delphine used an online binary decoding program and when she read the message she couldn’t hide the smile on her face.

“Cosima.” She couldn’t’ believe how incredible this girl was, how different she was from her classmates; she knew this kid was something else. She couldn’t put it in words properly, but there was something about her so… alluring.

 

“You look rather pleased Delphine” Jennifer commented when she noticed the blonde’s expression.

“Oh it’s just that Niehaus is, what is the word…” Delphine wondered.

“Cheeky, the word you are looking for is cheeky. That is Niehaus. That girl is brilliant but she is sometimes too bold. I guess that’s what happens when you are so independent from your parents.” Jennifer commented.

At that Delphine deepened her furrow, “What do you mean?” Delphine got worried.

“Niehaus is a loner, you see, I know her since she entered high school and her parents have never come to the meetings and she has not many friends. It must be hard to be her, I guess.” Jennifer kept working on her essays not giving much thought. However that information made Delphine feel so sad, why this girl was all alone? She could not understand. Cosima Niehaus was a lovely girl, one had to be blind not to care for her.

Delphine read the report done by Cosima and Scott, and the kid was right, she loved it. It was so full of information and Cosima went beyond the usual analysis students her age did. She was a bit awkward, nonetheless a lovely girl, Delphine felt so sorry for her. Maybe she could be her friend. She was going to make sure that she could count on her for whatever she needed.

_________

Cosima woke up pretty late and of course that meant being late for class, as usual. She showered fast and dress up with whatever clothes she found in her messy room. She brushed her long brown hair, which was pretty troublesome to take care of, she had to find a new hairstyle that was more simple. She ran downstairs with her backpack on her shoulder, grabbed a couple of toasts from a plate left in the kitchen and ran outside to head to school. She already missed a couple of class periods, but no way in hell she was missing Biology, she could miss calculus, physics, even government with the obnoxious posh spice, but not Biology.

 

The travel to school took her some time; she checked her watch continuously, desperate to make it to class. When she finally dropped on the bus stop, she ran to school. The main hall was mostly deserted, so she went full speed ahead when a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Stop right there Ms. Niehaus, a word please?”

She turned around slowly, “Um, Principal Leekie no need to bother, I am already here, so why not let me through?” she smiled cheekily, but Leekie did not get her bullshit.

“My office, NOW!” Aldous showed her the door to his office. Cosima had no more choice than to follow Mr. Leekie.

“Cosima, you are late again. I’m not worried about you catching up with your missed classes, you are a good student, but you need to be more disciplined, so you have detention today.”

“Oh come on Mr. Leekie, you said it yourself, I catch up quickly, no need for detention.” Cosima tried to get rid of the punishment to no avail. The bell rang.

“Go to class now Cosima, and here is your notification.” Mr. Leekie dismissed her.

 

She stood up in defeat and went to her locker to pick up her things for class.

She arrived 5 minutes late to class; Delphine already passed attendance when she entered the classroom. She avoided her teacher’s stare and took her seat beside Scott.

“YO dude what happened?” Scott asked her friend.

“Nah, nothing I stayed up late last night dude, chill.” Cosima quickly changed subjects. “Um, anything interesting in the previous classes?”

“The usual, Mr. Norris sent homework.” Scott filled Cosima on the class.

 

The biology class was really interesting; Cosima would love to be more focused on the content instead of the beautiful hair of her teacher. It was so distracting that she stopped taking notes and simply stared, hypnotized. Her eyes were glued to her blonde curls, how fluffy they looked; she wanted to touch it so badly, when she noticed that Delphine was looking straight at her. She lowered her face in embarrassment, besides she was flushing like a fool.

“So? What do you say Niehaus?” Delphine awaited her response.

Cosima had no clue what she asked, “I don’t know, um, sorry.” She shrugged.

“Scott?” Delphine now asked her classmate.

“Cloning.” Scott answered with enthusiasm.

“Oui!, very good Scott, that is correct. Cloning is a good example of genetic engineering.” Delphine kept explaining to the class.

Cosima felt terrible for being so distracted, she was messing up and that was no good. But she couldn’t face Delphine, not when she was blushing for no reason. The bell rang and Cosima picked up her things and got the fuck out of that class.

_________

Delphine noticed that Cosima was a bit off today, she wanted to talk to her, but she practically ran out of the class as soon as the bell rang. She was going to find another moment. She picked up her things from her desk and went to the teachers’ lounge to eat her lunch.

There she found some colleagues talking about their work day, when Mr. Norris complained about going to detention today.

Speaking of detention, she wanted to learn more about Cosima, she went to the main office to check the file of her student instead of eating her lunch. She needed to understand her background in order to help her. So she entered the main office and asked for her file. She took a seat and read.

 

“Mon Dieu!” Delphine gasped. This girl was always late, right like she said to her. Her grades were flawless, particularly in the science area. But the disciplinary reports were a different story. Yet all universities would be glad to have a top student like her, the disciplinary record would be overlooked by her outstanding achievements in science, math and computer science. She was a diamond in the rough, with proper guidance this girl could be the next Rosalind Franklin.

Delphine kept reading her file, she noticed that for disciplinary actions the Niehaus missed at least 90% of all school meetings. The report said that the information provided from her parents was made by phone.

That was sad, being such a wonderful kid and not being acknowledged by her parents. That hit home with her, she remembered how hard she worked to earn the respect of her mother. As a single parent; her _mére_ always made sure to remind her of the huge effort she did to support her. In order to make her mother proud she studied hard and when she earned this scholarship 6 years ago to come here to San Francisco was the best news she got. She kept studying hard to earn a second scholarship to stay here, and now she was on her way to get a master’s degree. Sooner rather than later she would apply to continue her PhD program in immunology.

She closed the file and returned it to the archives. Now she understood Cosima Niehaus, she was just like her on her teen years, lost and alone. She could identify with her; she believed she could reach her and make her feel loved and cared, she was more than grades, she was more than her intelligence, she was a wonderful person and she deserve to be cared for who she is.

__________

“Ms. Fitz, sorry but no, that is not possible!” Cosima went right away to talk with the government teacher. She was not going to do this.

“Cosima, you are a perfect match to Ms. Duncan’s way of thinking. You two will make a great team.” Jennifer explained her decision to select them

“This project will take us at least a month to complete; I won’t survive that long with posh spice Ms. Fitz, for ffff-rack’s sake.” She almost cursed.

“Afraid to disappoint Cosima?” Rachel purred. Her accent a soft velvet of terrible things to happen.

“Disappoint who? You? Please, I rather disappoint Scott than you, bitch.”

“Niehaus! Enough of this, you are stuck with Duncan until you do the research work. That’s it. I expect a full thorough investigation right before the holidays brake. Sit now.” Jennifer sent both students back to their desks; she was done with their bickering.

 

Cosima rolled her eyes, and went back to her work area. This was the worst that could happen, she disliked Posh Spice because she could see over her façade, she knew that the hot Brit that everybody loved from afar was a real cold ass bitch with a clever mind. She had to concede that to her, she was cunning like a snake, the bitch.

“We will meet tomorrow after classes at the library to discuss the approach, I expect you to be on time.” Rachel said with her usual undertone of superiority.

“Yes mom, whatever.” Cosima ignored for the rest of the class her classmate. This was going to be a long day, Cosima had a couple more classes and then detention. What a wonderful day.

Cosima moved from one class to the other, she had too many things inside her mind, that stupid government project with Rachel Duncan, catching up with missed classes, and her torment, Delphine Cormier. She could not believe that she spaced out in Biology, this was getting out of hand, but she had no idea how to control it, this was turning into an obsession. This attraction was getting stronger by the day. Maybe what she needed was finding someone to help her get rid of that itch. She could go clubbing this upcoming weekend, find some hot dudes or chicks and be done with it.

During detention she did all her missed activities, she kept track of the hour, she wanted a joint so bad, she needed to relax and loosen up the tension building in her body, 20 more minutes and she was going to be free.

__________

Delphine didn’t notice the time until now, she kept working nonstop after classes and now it was almost 4pm. “Merde!” She picked up her things and put them in her bag. At least she was almost done with work, so she could focus now on her college responsibilities. She walked out of the building and straight to the parking lot when she saw with the corner of her eye movement far away. She recognized the red jacket anywhere in the world, it was her. She was heading for the football field.

This was a great opportunity to approach her and try to talk to her. But would it look weird to talk to her now? She could wait tomorrow at school, but Cosima never had the time, she had to go now. She put her things inside her car, closed it and walked after the young girl.

 

When she reached the football field she looked for Cosima, but she was nowhere to be seen, she walked a bit around the area when the smell hit her. _Weed_. For some reason that brought a smile to her face, she now associated the smell to Cosima, still remembering the first time they met, how she found her stash. She moved closer to the bleachers when she spotted her.

Cosima was lying on the floor, her head rested over her backpack, earbuds in her ears and eyes closed, the joint between her fingers. She looked relaxed, not like her usual hyperactive being moving her hands all around her, her words spilling out of her mouth without processing. Her mind running a 100 mph now shut down.

Delphine hunched a bit to avoid hitting her head with the bleachers over, and got close to the girl.

“Cosima?” Delphine called her name, but she did not react, which meant that the music was playing loudly in her ears. She touched her softly on her arm. Cosima opened her eyes quickly, a bit startled and when she saw who it was she flustered. She yanked her earbuds and sat.

“Delphine, I mean, Ms. Cormier, what are you, er, I am, um, shit.” Cosima was a complete mess.

“It’s okay Cosima, I’m not here to reprimand you. Though you know you shouldn’t be smoking at school premises.” Delphine smiled reassuringly.

“I just want to talk, is it okay?” Delphine saw the girl tense up a bit, but she eased after a couple of seconds. She nodded.

“Are you okay?” Delphine tilted her head to look at the young girl features.

“Yeah, yeah, of course, nothing to worry about.” Cosima stated. She was not going to open up just like that, it was obvious. She needed to earn her trust first.

“I’ve noticed that you are a bit distracted in class, you are drifting a lot. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help you with?”

Cosima did not say a word, she was speechless.

“Okay, if you need to talk, whenever you feel like, you know I’m here.” Delphine had to give her the choice to do so, if she imposed, that was going to be worse.

“Cool, thanks, I guess.” She grinned. Delphine smiled back, and she put her hand over her shoulder to ease her. Cosima gulped, she broke eye contact. Delphine did not understand why she was nervous, Cosima was one of the most confident persons she ever met, and her level of sass was out of this world. Maybe that confidence was a shield to hide something else.

Delphine took her chin softly, to make her look at her, she wanted to see the depth of those hazel eyes, to make sure that Cosima knew that she was on her side.

“You can trust me Cosima, I will be here for you, oui?” Delphine gave her another sweet smile and she got up, she removed the bits of grass off of her clothes and waved goodbye.

“Take care Cosima. À bientôt.”

________

Cosima’s heart was about to ripped out her chest, the heartbeats completely out of control. Her throat was dry and she was red as a tomato. Delphine came all the way to talk to her, to cheer her up maybe, to make her feel good, but all she could think was about those luscious lips, the way she moistened them with her tongue. Her eyes drilling holes into her very soul.

She let her body fell limp on the soil and took a long drag, trying to ease her breathing. Everything made sense now, she understood.

 

Now she realized how fucked up this was, but there was no denying it anymore. She was deeply, madly in love with her biology teacher, Delphine Cormier. And this was going to be a hell if she did not tame these feelings that she was harboring for the woman. This was wrong, so wrong in so many levels, and she was neck deep in the shit. She blew the smoke away.

“Holy watershed!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally I can get my hands on this story, thank you so much for your patience, I promise to update regularly now. Every Wednesday and Saturday you should expect the next chapter if everything goes accordingly.  
> Again thank you for taking the time to comment, discuss and share your opinion with me. If you like it share it with your friends, that is the best way to say thanks to me. ENJOY!!!

Night after night she dreamt of her, on her soft blonde curls, those lips on her skin trailing small kisses over her neck and her hands in her core. Then she would move her hands down the waistband of her pants, and her imagination would fill in the rest of the fantasy. She had to cover her face with her pillow to muffle her moans, but she needed this. She needed release and if a fantasy could provide it for her, she was cool with it for now.

And then morning would come, and the guilt would wash all over her. She felt dirty. Dreaming of her teacher was one thing, but having sexual fantasies and then having to face the woman was shameful, embarrassing and wrong.

 

She avoided looking at her during class, stopped participating and shut herself in her inner bubble. She wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to control herself if she had the woman to herself, so she couldn’t risk it anymore, she was so into Delphine Cormier, it was ridiculous how irrational she became. So she went in and out of Biology classes to avoid her teacher. And she knew that Delphine knew that something was off, but she couldn’t speak with her without checking out her boobs or that booty. She was going to be so blatant, so instead she avoided her as much as she could. She needed a distraction as soon as possible.

 

Her alarm clock rang, but she slapped the snooze button and covered her head with her blankets. They were so close to holiday break now, and how desperate she was for that break. The past month was a total torture having that beautiful French woman teaching her one of her favorite subjects. She needed time to get rid of the feelings. She was in love with her for fuck’s sake, how fucked up was that?

A knock on the door startled her. In all her years of being late, her parents had never knocked to wake her up. This was completely strange.

“What?” Cosima asked groggily.

“Honey, your friend is waiting in the kitchen; I have to go now, so make sure to check on her. Love you.” Her mother left.

“Friend?” Cosima removed the covers, got off from the bed. Frowning, she put on her glasses and walked to the door, but before leaving her bedroom she put on a robe and walked down the stairs to find a familiar face drinking tea.

“What on earth are you doing here?” Cosima was in shock. _This_ was not what she expected.

“Good morning, Cosima. It’s getting late, so why don’t you go and get ready for school.” Rachel took another sip of her tea.

“Excuse me? You barge into my place to give _me_ orders? I don’t think so, get the fuck out!” Cosima turned around, went back to her room, and shut the door. This was another of her problems; she was stuck with Posh Spice for the government project until next week, before the holidays break.  Just one more week of meeting with this annoying Brit.

 

December proved to be a difficult month. Having to deal with both Rachel and her feelings for Delphine, she had to do something quick to fix both problems soon. She took a long shower, dressed up carefully to look good and went down the stairs.

“Oh God, you are still here?” Cosima couldn’t believe how bold this chick was. Rachel looked at her from head to toe before opening her mouth.

“I am here to take you to school Cosima, let’s go.” Rachel straightened her suit and walked to the door, her stride confident and arrogant. Cosima took her backpack and followed. Rachel’s driver immediately went to open the car door for Rachel and waited for Cosima to enter. She hesitated but she couldn’t be an idiot and reject the offer, she was going to be seriously late if she didn’t accept. She got in the car and the driver shut the door.

 

The trip to school went smoothly, at least Rachel was distracted working on her laptop and neither of them spoke during the trip. When they arrived, the driver went to open the door for Rachel and help her out. Cosima got out on her own.

“All right dude. Thanks for the ride and I guess we’ll see each other in the library after class?”

“Of course, Cosima.” Rachel nodded and walked away. Cosima turned around and went quickly inside the building to pick her things for the upcoming class.

“Yo, you made it on time!” Scott appeared by her side, her friend smiling goofily like usual.

“Yeah, I got a ride, that was, like, the only reason I made it dude.” The bell rang and off they went to their classes for the day.

 

During Biology class Cosima sat as far as she could from the teacher’s desk, took out her material, and waited. Once Delphine started the class Cosima zoned out immediately. Her voice was driving her insane, so she put on her earbuds as discreetly as possible and turned the volume up to try to muffle her delicious accent. She could always go to the library and research Scott’s notes to prep for the next test so she scribbled nonsense on her notebook when she suddenly saw Scott put his material away. She turned her head around to see why the movement and then she saw it.

Pop quiz.

“Shit!” she whispered. She removed her earbuds and looked at her friend. “Dude, what the fuck?” Cosima mouthed. Scott shook his head.

“A problem, Niehaus?” Delphine asked, her voice flat.

“None Ms. Cormier, sorry.” Cosima put her things away and waited until the teacher handed her the paper.

When she looked at it, she had no idea what to do. It was related to the topic Delphine just explained in class, and it wasn’t that she couldn’t answer part of the question, but the problem was that Delphine did this with one purpose: to make a point to the people who didn’t pay attention to the class, just like her. The question had to do with something that she probably said that wasn’t in the text book or on the whiteboard.

“Just great.”  Cosima couldn’t see what on earth Scott scribbled on his paper, so there were no more choices than for her to write the first thing that came to her mind.

 _I’m sorry_.

The bell rang, and Cosima picked up her things, put her backpack on and went to deliver the paper to Delphine. She saw that the blonde wanted to say something to her, but she ignored her, leaving the quiz behind on her table and escaping as fast as she could. She was so ashamed. She was not her usual confident self, what was wrong with her. _Oh right, you’re in love with your teacher. No big deal_.

“Shit.”

________

Delphine was really worried for her young student; Cosima was so open, so curious, so full of knowledge, but since a couple of weeks back she started to be more elusive and coy. She had no clue why. Maybe it had something to do with their meeting under the bleachers. Perhaps she overstepped her boundaries and Cosima felt intruded. She had no clue.

Delphine arranged the stack of papers over her desk, but curiosity led her to look for Cosima’s quiz.

“Niehaus, Niehaus, Niehaus. There it is.” She pulled the paper out of the stack, and when she saw it she couldn’t help but wonder what was really going on in that head of hers. It was answered in binary. Delphine had to use her laptop and manually copy the code to figure it out.

“I’m sorry.” Delphine read aloud. She was impressed. How it was possible that this girl knew from memory how to write in binary, but she couldn’t answer a simpler question. She was not paying attention; she was now 100% sure. She needed to speak with her before her grades started to plummet.

 

There had to be a reason for this change, and she was going to find about it. But she couldn’t approach her, not when she was being elusive. Maybe if she spoke with her friend Scott. He probably could shed some light here.

Delphine graded the quizzes and started to prepare for her next class when a knock on the door interrupted her.

“Hello Delphine, you busy?” Jennifer peeked through the doorjamb.

“Hello Jennifer, please come in.” Delphine put the stack of papers and notes aside.

“I hope I’m not taking much of your time; I just wanted to invite you to hang out with me and a couple of colleagues. We’re going to celebrate the holiday break this weekend, would you care to join us?” Jennifer smiled.

“I don’t know... I still have a lot of paperwork and college responsibilities.” Delphine was hesitant.

It’s just one night Frenchie, one night to be wild. Loosen up a bit, Cormier! It’s going to be fun.” Jennifer reassured her, and maybe that was what she needed, to relax a bit.

“Okay, one night.” Delphine smiled back at the swimming coach.

“Great, I’ll text you when I have all the details, see you later Delphine.” Jennifer turned on her heel and left the classroom.

 

When the final bell rang, Delphine went to the hall to look for Scott. She needed to speak with him before he left, and she looked around the locker area when she spotted the duo. Scott was talking with Cosima. When the shorter girl caught sight of her, she stopped there, frozen in place. Her hazel eyes locked on hers, but she quickly blinked and broke eye contact, avoiding the quizzical gaze Delphine had pinned on her.

“Excuse me Scott, may I speak with you? It’s quick, I promise.” Delphine smiled at him encouragingly.

“Ah, sure Ms. Cormier.” Scott followed the blonde to an empty classroom. Cosima kept looking to the floor until the two of them moved to a distance. Only then did she raise her sight back to the gorgeous magical being that was Delphine.

“I think that the project you and Niehaus are preparing for January has a lot of potential, but I am worried about your classmate’s performance. She’s been very distracted lately and that might affect the result. Do you know what’s going on?” Delphine had to be clever not to ask straight out what was wrong with Cosima. She had to be careful and precise in the way she approached this situation.

“No need to worry, we always get things done. But yeah, she’s been kinda weird lately. Maybe it’s because the exchange student! She was really mad about working with her.” Scott was really easy to talk to, as he was a bit infatuated with her and that helped her cause some.

“Ah _merci_ Scott, I trust you two are going to do as expected.” Delphine smiled again and let Scott return to his friend.

_I think I know who that is, I remember Jennifer complaining about dealing with Cosima and this other girl from England._

Once Delphine set her mind on her next step to find a way to help Cosima she returned to the teacher’s Lounge to take her lunch.

________

“Dude, what was all that about?” Cosima looked suspiciously at Scott. They kept walking in the direction of the library. Now she had to meet with Posh Spice to finish their Government assignment.

“Ms. Cormier was wondering about our science project. She was worried that it was going to suck because of _you_.” Scott teased.

“Oh shut up! I’m gonna finish my part during the break, so don’t worry about it.” Cosima rolled her eyes. “Really, in that case she should have spoken with me.” She didn’t want Scott or any other man close to her teacher. She was pissed that she was smiling at him.

 

They got to the library a few minutes later and they waved goodbye to each other.

“Dude, you wanna have a Superman marathon this weekend?” Scott raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“Uhm, no, I think I’ll pass. I have other plans in mind.” Yeah, she was going to go clubbing and unwind. But no, she was not going to those silly underage clubs, she was going to the real place. She already had her fake ID ready.

“Oh okay, cool.” Scott laughed awkwardly and walked away. She entered the library and she spotted Agent 007 at the usual table working on her laptop. She walked to meet her classmate and plopped down in front of her.

“Late again. I really have to wonder how you accomplish anything in life.” Rachel kept typing without even looking at the other girl.

“And I really have to wonder how do you make friends with such a bright personality? Oh right, you don’t.” The usual bickering was top level, and neither of them had to lift a finger because the kind of war they had was a mental one.

Wit versus wit.

“And there ya go. Here you have my part completed.” Cosima handed her flash drive. Rachel took the drive and copied the file to her laptop. In the corner of her eye Cosima spotted her ex-girlfriend Karen, and felt the looks of envy and hate she was sending towards her. Cosima couldn’t help but smile. She was glad that _idiot_ was mad. Rachel noticed as well, but she had other things in mind to keep that bothersome girl away from her and her subject. For Rachel, this thing she had with Cosima was a game she was going to win. She handed the drive back to the geek, closing the lid of her laptop and standing up.

“Very well, this concludes our business,” Rachel said.

Cosima stood up facing Posh Spice, not backing off and looking her straight in the eye.

“Indeed, I really hope this is the last thing we do together.” Cosima peeked at the table were Karen was seated to gloat on her looks when out of nowhere Rachel _Posh Spice_ Duncan pushed her lips into hers. She was petrified. The kiss felt so rough, so evil. Just like that, Rachel broke the kiss, smirking amusedly.

“Always a pleasure. Ta ta for now.” Rachel walked away, like she just did the most natural thing.

Cosima was embarrassed and then she saw Karen, who was now a puddle of tears. Cosima turned in her direction, grinned, and waved. She walked away. Well at least that served her well.

“Payback is a bitch.” Cosima had to admit that after at that weird interaction she had with Posh Spice, it served its purpose.

“But wait! Rachel had to know about that!” Cosima thought about it harder. Rachel was no idiot and everything she did was well thought through. She did it on purpose, she was sure of it.

 

 

 

Cosima walked back to take the bus to go home when she saw a tattoo shop. _I think it’s better if I test this fake ID first._ She deviated from her current path to walk into the tattoo shop. She had already in mind what she wanted. Besides, it would be a really interesting experiment to test if her folks noticed it- which she doubted it.

“Hey, can I get a tattoo?” Cosima gave the man in the counter a flirty smile.

“You look pretty young, missy. You got an ID?” The man leaned over the counter to see her closer.

“Of course.” She tilted her head and smiled, showing her fangy teeth. She really knew how to use her charm on people, and she got away with it most of the time, but for some reason it didn’t work on Delphine. _Cut it out, stupid! You shouldn’t be thinking how to charm your Biology teacher._

“All right Cosima! Do you know what you want?” The man handed her ID back, and she put it in her pocket.

“I’m Bobby.” He shook her hand.

“Yeah I _do_ have an idea, Bobby. I was thinking about piercing my nose, and I want to have a tattoo, but not so big.” Cosima explained with her hands her vision.

“All right, gotcha. What do you want to do? It’s your first tat, right?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah man. I was thinking about a dandelion in its fluffy stage.” Cosima moved her fingers to showed him what she meant by that.

“Awesome, I can work out a couple of ideas for you and then you can tell me which one you prefer, deal?”

“Yeah sure.” Cosima smiled in excitement.

“Cool! You sit tight and I’ll work something up. Then we can do the piercing as well.” The man smiled at her and went to work at his desk. Cosima sat anxiously, so ready to do it.

30 minutes later and Cosima was looking at the dandelion in the mirror, moving her forearm at different angles to see the tattoo. Her pierced nose looked _awesome_.

“This is hella rad, thanks a lot dude!” Cosima was grinning from ear to ear.

“Glad you like it! It looks pretty good on you.” Bobby shook her hand once more and Cosima went back home.

 

And as expected, neither of her parents noticed. She passed the living room, going straight to her bedroom after saying hello to her folks. She opened the windows and lit a joint, checking herself out again in the mirror. She knew something was missing, she had no idea what it was yet, but for now this was enough. _Baby steps_ , she reminded herself. She then thought about Rachel Duncan and that kiss, the meaning behind it. It had felt so _wrong_ ; those lips were cold to the touch, and the way she looked at her was scary. She had to be careful with that girl, or she was going to get burnt.


	5. Chapter 5

“Whoa. Dude, how did you get that? I mean it looks hella cool, but how?” Scott was staring at the nose ring intently.

“It’s hella cool Scott, and this is a beauty.” Cosima showed him her forearm with the dandelion. “Don’t worry about the _how_. It looks good, and that’s what matters.” Cosima smiled and pushed her books inside her locker before the bell rang. Immediately, all students headed straight to their classes. Sadly, Cosima had AP Government and that meant Posh Spice.

She sat at her usual place. At least today they were delivering their final project and that was going to be the end of this horrible experience. She did not want to have anything else to do with Posh Spice.

 

“Good morning Cosima, are you ready to do this?” Rachel turned her head, she did a quick inspection and noticed the ring on her nose and of course, she spat her poison “Want to impress someone? Or maybe mommy doesn’t pay you much attention?” Rachel smirked.

Cosima simply ignored that last commentary; she was not going to fall on her mind games. “I’m ready to get rid of you.” Cosima was done with this. As soon as Ms. Fitz called for volunteers she raised her hand and went to present with awful bitch Rachel. Cosima had to admit that at least Rachel did a thorough work; she was well prepared and defended her point of view flawlessly. When she spoke she couldn’t avoid looking at her lips, she remembered the kiss, how weird it was, it made her shiver. That girl was calculating and cold, like a viper, she had to be outsmart her in her own game, swimming with the shark.

When both finished they were congratulated by Ms. Fitz, she was really satisfied with their research analysis and presentation to class. Of course they aced their assignment.

She sat down and looked at her nemesis “Now I really hope you and I are done.”

Rachel tilted slightly her head “We’re done when I say it.”

The rest of the class Cosima tried to ignore the cold stares of Posh Spice, she was so sure of herself, she hated that girl. Cosima participated and offered her insight on different topics and Rachel debated her answers, but Cosima did not backed down, she rebutted all her replies as best as she could, it was like there was a war in the mid of AP Government class. The bell rang at last.

“That was very good you two Niehaus and Duncan, well done.” Ms. Fitzsimmons said before both left to their next course.

 

 

 

Finally during lunch time Cosima instead of going to the cafeteria she headed to her usual spot to smoke, she needed to think, she was going to have holiday break and she was going to miss seeing her, beautiful Delphine. She lied on the grass and turn on her joint.

She had to find a way to fix her current situation, these feelings were completely wrong, but she couldn’t help it, after almost three months of being her student and talking and discussing science with her she couldn’t deny this thing that was killing her softly. The desperation to feel her hands, to hear her speak it was turning into a terrible obsession. She needed to get rid of this feeling, probably she felt lonely, and well, Delphine was hot, and a marvelous human being who cared for her students, so she needed to find a replacement, someone to fill this hole in her heart, and maybe, she could forget about her teacher once and for all.

Once she was done smoking she got out of her backpack the poorly made sandwich she brought today, she was a terrible cook. She ate her meal and drank her juice when she spotted the beautiful golden hair, the curls moving with the wind. Delphine was hanging with Ms. Fitz, they probably were around the pool since Ms. Fitz was also the swimming coach and she was showing Delphine her team or whatever.  Both women were laughing and Cosima felt a sting on her insides. She wanted to be the one who made her laugh, but how could she when her stupid reaction to deal with this situation was to ignore the woman.

 

She finished eating and got out of the bleachers, she was tempted to follow Delphine, but the least she wanted was to catch her attention, not when she died to taste those lips. She was in deep shit so until she could deal with this properly it was better to be clever about this, when out of nowhere Ms. Fitz called her name.

“Shit.” Cosima turned around slowly and smiled.

Ms. Fitzsimmons approached in company of Delphine “Niehaus, good to see you, I was wondering if you could be interested in a project after holidays, probably in January. What do you say?”

“Uhm, well I think that-“

“She is busy Jennifer; she is working already with me, c’est vrai Cosima?” Delphine cut in. Cosima nodded.

“Yeah, yeah sorry about that Ms. Fitz, maybe you should ask Posh Spi-, er, Rachel.” Cosima smiled apologetically to Ms. Fitzsimmons.

Jennifer laughed and nodded in defeat “You took her away from me didn’t you Delphine?” Jennifer teased her friend and co-worker.

“Oui, I did.” She smiled at Cosima and Cosima blushed, her breath was stuck in her lungs, so she nodded and moved away as fast as she could, Delphine had no idea the havoc that those words would cause to her at night when Cosima dreamed again of her and her ridiculously sexy smile. Cosima needed release fast or else god knows what stupid thing she would do.

 

Once she was safely at a distance, then she allowed herself to breathe deeply. How was she going now to biology class after such exchange, she totally misinterpreted her words, she knew that Delphine did not meant it like that, her logic knew it as well but her stupid insides melted at the thought of her teacher being possessive with her.

 _Fuck, I am so doomed_ , and she clearly knew that. Then she noticed Posh Spice, she was observing her, studying her and she was sure she noticed her erratic behavior. Cosima stared at her back, even though she was a bit freaked out that she might have noticed something she was not going to show it to her, she had to be on top of her game. Rachel got bored and moved on. The bell announced it was time for Biology.

Today they were in the lab, as usual, Cosima partnered with Scott; they were wearing her lab coats and safety goggles while doing their experiment. Delphine moved from station to station to check the work of her students, she would inspect closely their procedure and offer advice or answer questions. Cosima couldn’t keep her stare away from the woman; she was attracted to her holy vision, like bee to honey, when she heard her idiotic classmates talk crap about Delphine in the table next to hers

“Yeah man Ms. Cormier is a nice piece of meat if we compare her with the Mrs. Kauffman.”

“Right, she has a nice butt.”

Cosima was getting pissed hearing that crap, so she turned around and looked at the two boys wasting time in class.

“Dude, could you please shut up, I’m trying to learn something here.” Cosima urged.

“Shut up geek, no one is talking to you.”

Cosima rolled her eyes and tried to ignore them the rest of the class, she focused on the task at hand, mixing and weighing different substances, but when she heard the next thing, only then the shit hit the fan.

“Man I would totally grab those titties and smack her ass. Bang her real good.” Cosima was furious now, she took her beaker with the buffer solution she just made and spilled it “accidentally” while she passed near that asshole.

“God damn it!” The boy was pissed.

“Dude, so sorry, I am such a klutz.” Cosima smiled innocently.

“You bitch!” And the clearly taller guy pushed her, making Cosima bump into another student, she pushed back and then chaos ensued.

“You two stop immediately!!!” Delphine came as fast as she could moving away the circle of students watching the fight. Delphine pulled apart both of them, the bell rang.

“You two with me, NOW!” Delphine looked at them so serious, she was mad.

Cosima picked her things from her table and followed her teacher.

_________

Delphine had no idea how this happened, she couldn’t believe that Cosima ended being involved in a fight and much less in her class. Cosima was neither a violent person nor a prankster, but here she was following her straight to the principal’s office with a bloody nose and a busted lip.

Before she took both students to the main office she sat with them to talk about the situation.

“Now, could you explain what happened?” Delphine crossed her arms and waited for any of them to speak.

“It was an accident; this moron was in the way Ms. Cormier.” Cosima said first.

“The hell I was, you are blind Niehaus and you did it on purpose.” The student responded.

“And why would I do that? Maybe if you stopped talking shit about the teacher and paid more attention this wouldn’t have happened in first place.” Cosima raised her voice and had curled both hands into fists. Delphine noticed how angry she was, she had to blown off some steam or she was going to start another fight here.

“Okay enough you two! That is not a reason to start a fight in the laboratory, you should know better. I’ll leave this report to the principal first, and then Fulton goes in then Niehaus.” Delphine stood up and knocked the door before going in. She spoke with Leekie before letting the first student inside.

She sat again in front of Cosima, who was looking at the floor, ignoring her. Delphine took out from her pocket a handkerchief. With her fingertips she touched Cosima’s jaw and tipped her face to make the girl look at her, staring into her eyes she said “Let me take care of this, s’il vous plait Cosima.” Delphine pressed the handkerchief over the young girl’s lip. She could feel the tension in the younger student, so she had to break the ice in order to make her feel more comfortable. And then she saw the tattoo, it was a bit red, which meant this was recent, and she wondered if she had permission from her parents. _Non, elle n’a pas encore_. She did as she pleased.

“That is beautiful. _Taraxacum officinale_ , oui?” Delphine started to clean her bloody nose.

“Yeah, a dandelion, it’s hella cool, huh?” Cosima grinned, and that made Delphine feel a bit better. It was so easy to speak about science with this girl, she felt so in tune when they talked like this.

“I like how the seedheads are dispersed, it is very pretty indeed.” Suddenly Delphine felt the urge to touch it, but she contained herself quickly. That was way out of line.

The door opened and Fulton got out, which meant that it was time for Cosima to get in the office. She stood up and Delphine move aside, but before she left she handed her the handkerchief.

“For your nose.” She said to the smaller girl.

“Uhm thanks.” She took it and went to the principal’s office.

 

Delphine knew that Cosima was getting suspended, her behavior was unacceptable, yet, she couldn’t avoid wondering what Fulton could have said that made her explode like that, so she asked.

“Fulton what exactly did you do to provoke this mess and don’t lie to me, I know you were talking a lot during the class.” Delphine stood in front of her other student, Cosima inflicted serious damage as well in his face, he had a black eye.

“I was talking stupid things Ms. Cormier, that nerd wanted me to stop but I didn’t. I accept that. However she came back and she said she tripped, but she threw at me the buffer.” Fulton explained but he didn’t mention what did he said.

“D’accord Fulton, know that this is going to have repercussions.” Minutes later Cosima came out of the office.

“Well now that you two are here apologize and behave from now on.” Delphine waited until any of them apologized first. But none said a word, she had to insist.

“Fulton and Niehaus, apologize already. I am not asking you to be friends, just forgive each other and move on.” Delphine remarked.

“Look dude, I give a damn about what you think of me but you will apologize to her.” Cosima demanded. “Or should I repeat your words?” Cosima took out her cell phone and pressed some keys, right away her voice sounded. She was recording her procedure during the lab to avoid forgetting details, and then she paused.

“Should I continue Fulton?” Cosima asked to his classmate. Fulton was now pretty pale, he shook his head and apologized immediately.

“I am sorry Ms. Cormier it’s not going to happen again.” He looked back a Cosima to make sure that she was satisfied; when she nodded he left faster than a bullet.

“What was all that Cosima?” Delphine was curious now.

“Nothing, this is my own recording for report purposes, he thought that I had his conversation recorded, but obvs I didn’t.” She smiled, her usual confidence showing.

“And how terrible was that conversation that you punched him in the face?” Delphine looked at the geeky girl.

“It was nothing important, really.” Cosima dismissed her attempts to find out the truth. “Anyway I got suspended for three days so I better go home. Sorry.” She smiled, but now she looked sad. Delphine wanted to reach for her and maybe hug her, tell her that everything was going to be fine, but she couldn’t, it was inappropriate, so she let her go.

And that hurt her, _pourquoi?_


	6. Chapter 6

Cosima went straight home after school; she was not in the mood to wander around the city. She felt terrible, her head was about to blow up, her nose still bled a little and her lip looked terrible. It never crossed her mind that she was going to get physical with someone to kick their ass, but thinking about her reaction, that kind of fury, of anger, that was a first for her. She couldn’t let those assholes refer about Delphine like that, she simply couldn’t sit still, without thinking about consequences she reacted in the worst manner.

She made to the front door of her home, she grabbed the keys from her backpack and entered her house. She was going to her room when someone called her name.

“Could you please sit here missy.”

“Mom? What are you doing here? I thought you were at the lab!" Cosima saw her mother who sat in the couch, her hair pulled tightly into a bun and her glasses framing her face while she worked with some papers.

“Principal Leekie called. I thought it was because of your usual tardiness. I was going to dismiss that when he told me that you got into a fight.” Her mother kept scribbling notes on her notepad.

“Yeah, some dude was interrupting the class and I got frustrated, that’s all.” Cosima didn’t give it much thought.

“You got suspended sweetie; that is not okay, your record is not perfect but your grades balance them, with a suspension some Universities might pass you because of that.” Her mother looked at her.

“Mom, I already sent some applications; they are not going to reject me for one stupid mistake. Relax.” Cosima simply wanted to lay down and rest, her mother was being obnoxious today.

“Maybe dear, but that was uncalled for. So this holidays you will remain right here at home, you are grounded.”

“Geez mom, thank you very much, can I go to my room now?” Cosima wanted to cry, she couldn’t believe, well, she did, but still it hurt that her mother was more worried for her college applications than knowing the whys of the fight or if she was okay.

“Yes, I have to go now, I am in the middle of an important project, if you need anything there is money in  the kitchen jar, but don’t leave the house, understood?.” Her mother started to pick up her things and put them inside her briefcase.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, gotcha.” She did not wait any longer and ran to the stairs; she entered her room and closed the door. She dropped her backpack on the floor, opened the windows and sat on her desk. She took out a joint, and lit it.

 

She turned on her laptop, put some music on and tried to relax. She reclined her body in the chair and put her feet over the desk, she took a long drag from the joint. Her mind finding the peace she needed. Better to be baked than giving too much thought to what happened. When she finished smoking, she skyped with Scott for a while, she told him that she wasn’t in that much trouble, she had to stay at home during the holidays break so they weren’t going to be able to go out and have fun. That was all.

After she closed the call with Scott, she took a shower, she took a look at her face in the mirror, now that she cleaned the wounds they didn’t look that bad. She put on her PJ’s, took her laptop and seated on her bed. She started to work on her science project researching info about her topic, however that seemed quite impossible. She remembered she had in her backpack the handkerchief that Delphine gave her. She went to grab her bag and took out the now bloody handkerchief. She sat again in her bed and inhaled the fabric. The smell of blood was evident, but also there was another smell, one that she recognized, it smelled of her.

Cosima couldn’t acknowledge that she had and animalistic fury inside of her, it was frightening to admit that. The thought of anyone laying hands on her teacher made her feel sick to her stomach, she knew she was in serious trouble when she allowed this feelings grow so much in the past months that she now reacted in this way when someone mentioned her name. She had to get a release and soon, she needed to find a replacement, or she was going to do more stupid things on behalf of her unrequited love.

_________

She started to dress, no point lingering longer in bed with Aldous, she was done and that was it, she was going home. She left the hotel quickly, she was tired after work and then classes, Aldous invited her to do their usual affairs, but she was getting already tired of it. There was nothing special between them; it was two people in the same intellectual level enjoying the pleasures of the flesh. Though she was enjoying more drinking a glass of wine than being with Aldous. The drive home took her a while, but once she put a foot inside her house she felt much better now.

She lit a cigar and sat at her porch, the wind was a bit chilly tonight. Her phone blipped, she took it out of her pocket and checked the text message, it was from Jennifer telling where they were going to meet tomorrow night. Delphine typed a reply and pushed send. Delphine couldn’t recalled when was the last time she went to a club to have fun, she spent her days studying and researching, but now she could try to have fun, to do risky things, even though she was now an adult, she wanted to be bold for once and do crazy. She could do crazy. And speaking of crazy, she thought about her brightest student, Cosima Niehaus.

 

Delphine smashed the tip of the cigar with her heel and entered into her living room; she checked her inbox and cleared all messages once she read them, then decided to write an email to Cosima, she was worried about her. How did her parents took the news that there daughter was being suspended for violent behavior? Did they took care of her wounds? Those were the things that ran through her head; she typed a short e-mail and sent it to the geekmonkey. That e-mail address made her smile, _cute_ , she thought. Delphine kept working on a research paper she had to deliver next week, so she typed a lot, she barely noticed the time when her phone buzzed and that distracted her

She checked the screen, “Merde, it is pretty late.” Delphine read the screen and noticed there was a reply from geekmonkey “Cosima?” She frowned, and pressed the button on her phone to check the message. As it was now usual, her messages where written in binary, therefore Delphine had to decode the message.

_Hi Ms. Cormier I am feeling a bit better thanks for asking. I am grounded and I will stay here during the holidays, so I will have plenty of time to do the project. It’s gonna be hella awesome. Cosima._

Delphine read the message; she hoped that she was well as she claimed. She knew her parents were extremely busy people, and Cosima had to deal with her things alone, she was so independent and intelligent, such an incredible girl. Delphine noticed then that the message was sent actually less than 30 minutes ago, that meant that she was still awake, and it was well past midnight. She was very tempted to write again, but what was she going to say? It was better like this, to keep it professional, she didn’t want to get involved too much in her students personal life. So she turned off her computer and went to take a shower before going to sleep.

___________

It was Saturday morning, Cosima was grounded so there was no point in waking up early, her parents were going to leave to their respective jobs anytime soon and she was going to have the house to herself. She could catch up with Game of Thrones today, maybe skype later with Scott. But more than that she was done having sex with herself. She was ready to find someone to help her scratch this itch.

 

 _Yeah, that sounds like a plan_ , she thought. She opened her hand ti find the handkerchief Delphine gave her yesterday. She slept with it like a baby, even though it was bloodied. The least she could do was wash the thing and give it back, maybe drop unannounced at Delphine’s place since she already knew her address, which was a great excuse to visit her teacher at her home. And there was not going to be punishment that was going to stop her from going. Her mother might call using the home line, but her mother was a creature of habit, which meant that she was going to call at the same time every single day to check up on her, she only had to plan her escape accordingly. That thought made her smile.

 

After a while she finally got up, she took a quick shower and went to the laundry to clean the handkerchief, once it was ready she hang it to let it dry. Then she made a sandwich for breakfast, sat at the kitchen counter and ate. A knock on the door startled her, she was not expecting visits. She gave a final bite to her sandwich and walked to the front door. She peeked throught the hole and saw Posh Spice. _Maybe if I remain silent she will go away._ Another knock, “I know you are in there Cosima, would you mind opening?”

“Shit” Cosima opened the door, not amused to see her nemesis. “Why are you here?”

“Your mother invited me, she wanted me to check up on you.” Rachel curved slightly her lips.

“My mother? She wouldn’t do that unless… What did you do?” Cosima was frowning.

Rachel came in moving like she owned the place and took a seat. Cosima just looked at her in frustration. Then, she closed the door and moved to the couch, she sat at a distance from Posh Spice.

“Well?” Cosima raised her eyebrows in expectation.

“I might have funded part of her interesting research, the other day she shared with me her cloning project.”

“Oh yeah, she’s cloning _Taraxacum californicum_ and studying the clonal variation of their floral stage with other similar species and… I guess that is none of your business.” Cosima concluded, she was engaged so easy with science topics that she forgot this was no friend at all.

“Yes, that is what she said, so I offered her my financial aid.” Rachel simply said.

Cosima stood silent for a minute, making silent calculations, to do a financial aid in her mother’s research she was probably talking about 5 digits. “Shit, you have seriously plenty of money, no wonder you are Posh Spice.”

Cosima noticed the smallest eyebrow twitch on Rachel’s face, her usual cold face stare showed the smallest expression of human emotion. There was more than met the eye, Cosima knew it now.

“Your mother seemed very interested, so I just lent a hand. I wish mine was still around.”

“Oh god, I’m so-”

“You look like crap” Rachel cut in. It was clear she wasn’t going to talk about it. “I heard  about how you kicked that guy’s arse, you don’t seemed to me the fighting type.” Rachel pondered for a second. “Is it because of the teacher?” There, the question she didn’t want anyone asking.

“What? No, not at all. The dude was being bothersome.” Cosima lied, there was no other way around this topic.

“I see, if you want I can take care of this, erase all your disciplinary record.” Rachel made her move, Cosima knew this is the reason she came her, she was proposing a business, a trade.

“And what is your price Posh Spice because if I read you correctly you don’t do kindness.” Cosima fixed the glasses on top of her nose, looking the other girl in the eye. Rachel smirked in return.

“I require you to do something for me, I need to find someone.” The way she spoke made Cosima feel shivers. That did not sound good, she was looking someone. God only knew who that someone was, but she prayed she never find it.

“I can deal with my own shit.” That was her answer, she wasn’t going to be manipulated into her sick games.

Rachel stood, “I know where the exit is, have a nice day clever girl.” And she walked away but before exiting the front door she turned her head and said “You know where to find me whenever you’re ready to accept my offer.” and she got out.

  


Cosima was a bit confused regarding her visit, yet the information she gathered was invaluable.”Know thy enemy.” The wise words of Sun Tsu, this was a war and she intended to win. Cosima ran up the stairs and turned on her laptop.

She pressed several keyboards and started to look for news in London, she checked many websites and news, the clock on the wall kept ticking and she was glued to the monitor, typing and clicking the mouse when she found exactly what she was looking for.

“Holy watershed! Both are dead.” She clicked the article that backtracked to a couple of years ago. _The Duncan’s were traveling back home after a charity event they had that night when the driver lost control. Police reports ruled it as an accident_. “Shit, these people were filthy rich, no wonder she funded my mom’s research.” She kept digging more and more in the story behind the death of Rachel’s parents.

“According to a witness the driver tried to avoid a drunken punk on the road, the driver lost control of the car and they died instantly.” Cosima read out loud. She kept reading more about this accident; she also found that Rachel’s whereabouts were unknown after the accident. The press probably tried to stalk her for info, since she was now the heir to a huge corporation. She had no one  else there so they sent her with a friend or relative here, that was the explanation of her file to be private in the school archive. They were probably waiting until she finished school to send her back home to claim her corporation or whatever she had in London.

Now Cosima had a better understanding of Posh Spice, she was bitter; Cosima saw that, but why? _Shit_. Now she understood her request. She was looking someone to blame, after all it was ruled an accident. She probably did not accept that, she was now thirsty for revenge; the punk, that was the person she was looking for. She spent hours reading and gathering information of Rachel Duncan.

Cosima was curious to find out more, but Rachel was a dangerous woman with power, it was best if she stop researching.

 

She checked her clock on the wall and noticed that it was pretty late now, she didn’t had time for this she had to go get ready for tonight’s rave, because tonight she was getting laid.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that I am overwhelmed by the response to this fic, it is huge and I did not expect that, so thank you for taking the time to read this.  
> Thanks to my Kathryn Alexandre aka my Beta cosima-hella-niehaus.tumblr.com she is the best.

Delphine looked herself over once more in the mirror. She wasn’t supposed to feel nervous, she was _24 years old_ for heaven’s sake! Tonight she was going to hang out with some friends from work and that was it, it wasn’t a date or anything like that. Delphine desperately wanted to ease the tension in her body, so she walked outside and smoked a cigarette before getting in her car and driving to the address of the club that Jennifer recommended.

 

Once Delphine arrived she noticed the line to enter. Security was checking people at the entrance and the bass resonated heavily through the air. Delphine followed the line of people until she heard Jennifer’s voice calling for her, and smiled when she saw her friend waving at her happily. She waved back and once they met in line, Delphine gave Jennifer a kiss on each cheek like the Frenchie she was.

“I am so glad and so happy you made it! Let’s go, the others might be inside.” Jennifer led Delphine inside the club, weaving through people dancing to the rhythm of the electronic music. The neon lights made the vibe much livelier, and Delphine started to relax a little more. She followed Jennifer to a table where the rest of their friends and co-workers waited. Delphine shook hands with the ones she knew but didn’t hang out too much with, and then sat.

“This place looks amazing.” Delphine had to yell as loud as she could in order to be heard by Jennifer.

“Yeah, it’s really great. You’re going to have much fun, you’ll see.” Jennifer smiled, standing up and going to look for drinks for everybody.

Delphine drank a beer that Jennifer offered. She looked the people down on the dance floor, how they moved to the music, the way their bodies followed the beat. It was so exciting, the heat surrounding their bodies and how they touched. Delphine was almost hypnotized when Jennifer finally snapped her fingers in front of her face and caught her attention.

“You like to dance?” Jennifer asked.

“Oui, but I don’t think I am good at this.” Delphine was honest, she totally loved to dance but she was terrible.

“Well you can join me then! If I suck, and _you_ suck, we’ll suck together.” Jennifer stood up and offered her hand to her friend.

“Okay, I guess that’s better than making a fool of myself alone.” Delphine took her hand and let Jennifer pull her to the mass of people on the dance floor.

_________

Cosima had to wait until way after dinner to go out. She was eating with her folks and as usual, they discussed topics from computer science to religious issues over dinner. Everything except her.

“Mom _for_ _real_ , why did you take Rachel’s offer? You’re bargaining with the devil.” Cosima ate a mouthful of mac&cheese.

“Rachel is a very wise girl. She really knows about business and she has a way with words. Besides, the money would help us do an in-depth analysis now that we have the funds to do it.” Her mother drank some more wine. “I am glad you made another friend, Cosima.”

“She’s _not_ a friend of mine, mom, and now you’ve sold your soul to her!”

That brought a laugh from her mother.

“Sweetie, you’re too harsh on her. She just wants to be friends.”

“Yeah, right.” Cosima rolled her eyes and kept eating. When she was done, she excused herself from the table, gave a goodnight kiss to her mom and dad and went upstairs. She went to the bathtub and filled it with hot water; once it was ready she climbed in and relaxed. She was desperate to go out, but she had to wait until at least her parents went to bed. She closed her eyes and as usual, she thought of _her_. This was becoming maddening. Cosima sighed in frustration. She had no idea how or why she had ended up being so attracted to her.

 

Since the first time she had laid eyes on her there was something about that woman, her brown eyes, her smile, the accent, but more than anything she was an angel. She talked to her and cared for her! How on earth she could have avoid falling for her? She was warm and soft and looked like a puppy.

She loved Delphine Cormier, she simply just _did_. But then reality dropped like a brick on her head and made her realize that she was completely fucked up. She couldn’t have feelings for the person who was teaching her Biology, and she was fucking 17, a _minor_. How messed up was that?

She got out of the bathtub, brushed her teeth, dried her hair and when she looked in the mirror she knew she had to do something else with her hair. She didn’t really like it the way it looked now. It didn’t feel like her. She searched in her wardrobe for clothes and chose a dark red dress, black leggings to wear under it, along with a pair of black flats. Once she was done, it was time for make-up. Compact powder, blush on her cheeks and a nice color to go on her eyelids and to finish it up, dark eyeliner around her eyes, angel style. She traced them with skill and when she was done, a rosy color on her lips. She was ready to roll. She put on her glasses and she smiled. She knew very well that she looked totally hot. Before she left she had to be smart and took a couple of condoms, her fake ID and grabbed her purse. She was ready to go.

 

It was already past 11pm, her parents were pretty far asleep, so she went downstairs really slowly making sure to not make noise, and she opened the door and made sure to leave the key under a ceramic pot for when she got back. She walked a bit down the line of houses, called a cab and off she went.

She made it to the local club area, checking out the variety of places until she spotted a nice club with electro music. She walked past the line and with her cutest smile she moved in front of the row. She knew how to use her charm, so she let her cute smile gain her way inside, and the ID served its purpose. The music was loud and the bass thumped loudly in her ears. Scanning the area, she found a spot to sit at the bar. _Let the hunt begin_ , she thought.

 

She asked for a glass of wine, and watched her surroundings while sipping casually and noticed that to her left there was a girl checking her out, probably in her mid twenties, brunette, tanned skin and to the right at the end of the bar there was a guy, probably 19, honey blonde hair, medium built, also looking at her. Cosima knew that girls usually were more intuitive than boys, and she just needed a quick release. A boy would serve her well, so she smiled back at the guy and wiggled her fingers in a flirty wave. That was enough to start his approach.

“Hey, can I buy you a drink?” The boy sat beside Cosima.

“Yeah, sure.” The boy asked for another glass of wine for Cosima and ordered a beer for himself.

“So, having fun tonight huh?” Cosima attacked immediately, she had to lead the conversation and take control of the situation fast.

“Yeah, I came with some friends.” He took a sip of his beer.

“You from Berkeley? Maybe we’ve seen each other before.” Cosima quickly filled the curiosity that her target might have with some casual information.

“Ah, no, I don’t think so. I’m from Stanford.” That was perfect because she could geek out with the guy, thanks to her dad’s expertise, even though they were technically rivals. Cosima was willing to let it go for tonight though.

The beat of the music was contagious so she invited her new friend to the dance floor. The movements were following the hum of the electronic sound coming from the speakers, and her hips swayed rhythmically, her hands enticing her partner. This was going to be fun.

________

“Uff, this is really insane!” Delphine went back to the table with Jennifer to take a break from the dancing. She was sweating and thirsty, so she drank a cold beer to refresh herself.

“I’m getting wasted tonight Delphine! Too bad you didn’t bring anyone to be your designated driver or else I would be drinking with you, my friend.” Jennifer raised her glass and drank deeply.

Delphine smiled at her friend. They were having so much fun and it was incredible what she was missing out on Saturday night, but she usually stayed up late working or doing research.

 

“I’m going to the bar to buy more drinks and ask for water, do you need anything?” Delphine asked her peers, which all of them asked for beers. So Delphine went downstairs to the bar that was right beside the dance floor, moving through the sea of people until she made it to the bar. There she sat on a stool and asked for water before going back with the beers, examining the people entangling their bodies under the music. It occurred to her how sensual and hot it seemed, when suddenly someone caught her attention. She squinted her eyes, trying to see the girl in the red dress better. She couldn’t see her face only her back but she seemed quite familiar yet she couldn’t recall from where. What she could see was her movements; she was so sensual it was like seeing a cobra dancing before attacking. She had no clue why she was so fixated on that girl, but she couldn’t remove her eyes from those hips, the man was so close now, their bodies touching, the friction enticing. Delphine had to break the view and drink the cold water because she was blushing by the sight of that girl. Sill she looked again to see her, the guy was on her neck, kissing her softly, the girl turned around slowly, teasingly,  moving against his body, their hips barely brushing, she gave acc- COUGH COUGH COUGH

Delphine nearly choked on the water, and she had to take a couple of deep breaths to regain her normal breathing rate.

 _Merde, that is Cosima. No mistake about it._ She was completely in shock. How on earth had that girl gotten in here in the first place, and second, what she was doing with that man? Delphine had to do something; she couldn’t let her student do whatever she was trying to do with that man. She quickly took the beers and delivered them to her friends as fast as she could.

“Hey where’s the fire Delphine? You okay? You look a bit pale.” Jennifer touched Delphine’s forehead checking for temperature.

“Non non I am okay, oui? I have to go, it’s pretty late and well, but it was fun, merci.” Delphine took her jacket and went to look for her student.

______________

“So what do you say if we look for somewhere more private?” Cosima moved alongside Trevor, or whatever his name was, she didn’t really care.

“Sure thing.” He smiled. Cosima had to admit he had a certain charm, if she wasn’t so desperate to fuck someone to get rid of this feelings she might have paid more attention to him. She grinned and took his hand guiding him among the dancers, until they reached the bathrooms that weren’t so crowded. She pulled him to the girls restroom and once inside the kissing began. His hands surrounded her, the sweat of their bodies increasing the heat, he kissed her on the neck, and she exhaled in anticipation, her hands moved on his pecs, anchoring herself for what was going to come. However she just had to close her eyes to think about her, wondering how those lips would taste, how she would entangled her fingers in the curls of her hair.

“Shit.” She broke contact.

“What is it?” The boy asked in wonder.

“Uhm, well, we are kinda tight in here, you know, maybe we should just hang out outside.” She pulled him again, they walked out of the bathroom and in a dark corner they continued. She kissed him hard, eager, trying to reap the fantasy from her mind, trying to replace it with something different, something real. He pushed her against the wall, the kiss intensifying, his hands were on her thigh, he lean in to kiss her deeper. She hold onto him, kissing him with intensity when she swore she was now hearing her voice, how crazy was that.

“Excuse moi!” Delphine exclaimed louder, and touched the guy on the shoulder.

That made them break the kiss, and when Cosima saw that this wasn’t her imagination, she gulped hard.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have to take her home, she’s with me.” Delphine said in her sternest voice.

“Ah, I, uhm…” Cosima was speechless; she had no clue what to say. On cue Delphine took her hand and pulled her to her side.

“Your friend is in good hands, I can take care of her.” The man was not letting her go so easily. Delphine had to make a clear statement without blowing the cover that _cette enfant terrible_ made up.

“Oh chérie, you are too stubborn but no matter what you did with this guy, I forgive you.” Delphine cradled Cosima’s face with her soft hands and started to lean down softly, Cosima was about to pass out when Delphine imposed her lips softly on her forehead, Cosima closed her eyes, savoring the moment, embedding it deeply in her mind. When Delphine broke the kiss she looked at the guy, making sure that the message was clear that this girl was _hers_. She turned around and looped her arm around Cosima, leading her out of the club safely.


	8. Chapter 8

Delphine was walking by Cosima’s side, whom was quiet and she was trembling, so Delphine removed her jacket and wrapped it around the smaller girl’s shoulders. She kept guiding her until they reached her car, and she opened the door for her to get in. Cosima got up and put on the seatbelt. Delphine quickly got into her side and turned on the engine.

She looked at Cosima, who was staring out the window.

“I am taking you back home Cosima, could you tell me where it is?” Delphine asked softly, careful to not make her feel bad. Cosima took a deep breath, then exhaled before answering.

“I don’t want to go home just yet. Can we go somewhere else?” Only then the young student dared to look at her. She could see the pleading in her eyes.

“Bien sûr, I’ll drive for a while until you’re ready, oui?” Delphine waited until Cosima nodded to start driving.

 

The entire trip was silent. Delphine wanted to talk to her, but she also didn’t want to sound like she was reprimanding her. She just wanted her to feel comfortable speaking with her, not punishing her. After all that’s what kids her age did. However, she knew there was something else that was making her be so rebellious like this.

“What were you thinking?” Delphine had to ask. Cosima was too clever a girl to be out doing something dumb.

“Sex.” Delphine took her eyes off the road for a second to glance at the girl seated at her side, but the grin on her face made her relax a bit. “Mon Dieu! You are very cheeky, Cosima.” Delphine smiled back at her.

“Ok, but if that was what you were looking for I think there might be other places that are safer for you.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” She simply shrugged.

“Well, I hope you took… precautions.” Delphine definitely wanted to avoid the sex talk, Cosima was no child of hers.

“Yeah, I did, but I didn’t get _that_ far.” For some reason that made Delphine feel relieved.

 

After minutes of driving without course Cosima finally told her where to go, so she headed straight to Cosima’s home. The drive was going to take a while, so she turned on the radio. The tension in Cosima’s shoulders was visible, but she put a random station and let the music fill the silence. 90’s hits, and the music was pretty good. Delphine liked the classics. When _Lovefool_ by the Cardigans started to play, she noticed a small shift in Cosima’s posture, and she assumed she did not like the song, which was a shame. The thing was that Delphine had no clue how much the lyrics resonated with her student, because that was all she wanted from her, to hear that Delphine loved her.

Finally Delphine came to a stop in front of her house. It was pretty dark which meant that her parents were fast asleep and had no clue about the whereabouts of their daughter. She parked and cut the engine. Cosima removed her seatbelt and looked Delphine in the eyes hesitantly.

“Uhm, thank you, Ms. Cormier.” Cosima was about to get out but Delphine stopped her, grabbing her arm suddenly.

“Don’t go Cosima, can we talk for a bit, please?” She needed to know. She was a total idiot if she allowed her student go home like this. This wasn’t the lively girl she had met months ago. Cosima plopped back down again and waited for her teacher to speak.

“What’s wrong, Cosima? You’ve been acting very weirdly. Why are you so coy? Is it that Rachel girl?” Delphine needed answers. She saw her lip quiver, that poor girl was on the verge of breaking. Whatever she had bottled up inside of her was eating her alive.

“It’s no big deal, really.” She smiled, but Delphine saw through her blatant lie. She touched her cheek and let her warm hand rest on Cosima’s cold cheek. For some reason she now had this need to keep reaching for her, to be in contact with her.

“You can trust me, Cosima. If someone is hurting you or making you feel bad, you can tell me. I promise I won’t fail you.” She hoped she had trust in her words.

She laughed softly. “You have no idea how ironic that is.”

Delphine frowned, not at all comprehending what Cosima meant.

“Cosima, I’m here for _you_. Don’t feel that you have to carry your problems alone! If your parents are not there for you, I will be.” Delphine noticed how she was caressing Cosima’s cheek with her thumb and she immediately jerked her hand back.

“I wish I could tell you Delphine, but I can’t.” She took off Delphine’s jacket, giving it back carefully and climbing out of the car. Delphine was not going to give up so easily, so she clamored out after her.

“Cosima, s'il vous plaît!” Cosima was so broken, so sad. She couldn’t stop herself if she had even wanted to and quickly embraced her with all her might. At first, Cosima was stiff, perhaps a bit shocked, but then she surrounded her with her arms and allowed the tears to flow. Delphine held her there, caressed her gently, and whispering soft reassuring words in French.

How perfectly she fit between her arms, it was like Cosima was molded to her, and at first it kind of made sense, because of the height difference, but then she realized what she was doing. Her heartbeat jolted up a bit at the realization that she was seriously going way over her functions as teacher. It was freaking 3am and she was embracing a student in front of their house. She let Cosima go slowly to avoid making her uncomfortable, wiping the tears from her beautiful face.

“Don’t do anything reckless, oui? Promise me that you won’t go out like this again.” Delphine wrote her cellphone number on a scrap of small paper and handed it to her. “Call me if you need help or you just need to talk.” Cosima put the paper in her pocket, nodding and walking cautiously to her front doorstep. She only looked back once before going into the darkness of her home.

__________

It was already noon when she woke up. She blinked a bit to focus her eyesight, then she rolled on her bed and took her glasses from the night stand. Her head was a bit fuzzy, she drank a bit too much last night and well, she had done some pretty stupid things too.

What was even the likelihood that she had encountered her torment in the same club? That had to be the weirdest shit like, _ever_. And now she knew that no matter had she banged that guy or not, she would be still thinking of her.

The way Delphine looked at her made her heart clench and sing, and last night she couldn’t have fallen harder for her. She was so worried. She was nothing to Delphine and the amount of worry she expressed was by far the most someone had showed to her. Delphine did not expect her to solve her own problems because she was intelligent or capable of doing so, but she offered her hand and let her lean on her. That was a first for Cosima. She didn’t feel alone with Delphine, she felt protected and cared. She had to find another way to shut these feelings out. Maybe she could try to make a friendship that would last a lifetime with her. She could try to be friends with Delphine, she had to.

 

 

 

The holidays went in the blink of an eye. It was already Christmas Eve, and Cosima was eating lunch with her parents, discussing the latest in hybridization techniques when someone knocked on the door. Her mother excused herself and went to open. Cosima assumed it was probably an uncle or some relative that her mother might have invited, except it _wasn’t_.

“Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Niehaus. Thank you for having me.” Rachel Duncan stood at the door holding a bottle of wine.

“Rachel, thank you for accepting our invitation!” Her mother took the bottle and invited Rachel to sit at their table.

“Our invitation?” Cosima snorted. This had to be the worst thing that could have happened.

“Cosima! Don’t be rude, Rachel have been of so much help that I had to find a way to repay her. And since she’s all alone, the best we could do is at least invite her to our meal.” Her mother chimed in.

Cosima had no other choice than to spend her Christmas with Posh Spice.

 

During dinner Cosima remained silent while her mom and dad enjoyed their conversation with Rachel, at least her mother was absorbed by the conversation with Posh Spice that she might had a chance to sneak away from the table and end her suffering. She stood up and took her dishes into the kitchen sink, she turn to check on her mom and walked stealthily up the stairs when effing Posh Spice caught her sneaking away.

“Why are you leaving? We’re having a wonderful conversation.” Rachel nagged and added, “Maybe what you need is to go out. There is a party from the AP Government class, I will attend after this, of course.”

“Yeah I heard, but I’m grounded so…” She thanked God for being grounded so that she had a good excuse to avoid going out with that bitch.

“Oh no sweetie, you’ve been more than good, please go out with Rachel.” And of course, her mother had to ruin it.

“Perfect. It is settled then. Go and get ready, Cosima.” Cosima wanted to erase that bitch smug face, Rachel had the upper hand winning her mother’s favors. She was fucked up.

So she changed into something more appealing, because Cosima Niehaus had to look good wherever she went, even if Posh Spice was with her. She put on makeup and since she liked the eyeliner angel style so much she was going to keep using it.

She came downstairs and waved goodbye to her folks.

Once she was away from her parents, she asked, “What do you intend by doing this?” Cosima looked at Rachel hard, not having any of her bullshit.

“Me? Nothing, Cosima, I just want to have some fun.” She dismissed whatever Cosima was trying to imply and got in her car. The driver took them to the house where the Christmas party was being held.

Rachel rang the bell and after a couple of minutes a familiar classmate welcomed them. Of course, since she was with Rachel no one was going to shoo her away, Cosima assumed. The party was as expected, a couple of her classmates from AP Government were chatting, and as usual, she didn’t bother to talk with any of them. Why waste her time when these people could never understand what she was talking about? Cosima instead went for the punch and sat awkwardly by herself while queen Rachel talked and gather all the attention.

“Bonsoir, Cosima!”

Cosima turned around and smiled.

What a wonderful Christmas this was going to be if Delphine Cormier was here.

 

“Delph-, er, Ms. Cormier what a surprise.” Cosima was grinning like a fool, just the sight of the woman made her heart skip a beat.

“Yes, Jennifer invited me! She didn’t want to be here alone with all the kids.” Delphine sat beside her.

“I see, that’s cool.” Cosima sipped at her punch stop herself before she said something idiotic.

“You didn’t call; I assume you are doing well?” Delphine looked at her so kindly. Cosima gulped, she didn’t think she would expect a call from her.

“Yeah, I’m good. I... um, it’s cool. I just want to thank you, I have been distracted and all that shit, but I’ll be better.”

“That makes me happy, still if you want to talk about anything you know where to find me” Delphine smiled and touched her shoulder comfortingly.

“Cosima?” Rachel Duncan called, Cosima’s magical moment was dispelled by the intrusion.

“Did I interrupt something?” Rachel asked apologetically, though Cosima knew she was totally faking it.

“Non, please! I’ll leave you two to your affairs.” Delphine smiled once more and returned to the party.

__________

According to Jennifer, Rachel Duncan was a very interesting student. Her analysis was superb and she loved what she brought to the class along with Cosima. But to Delphine that girl gave her a vibe of something _wrong_. The way Rachel Duncan looked at Cosima was something that she didn’t like at all.

Delphine took a glass of wine and sat to chat with Jennifer, but for some reason she couldn’t keep her eyes off her young student. She really wanted to be of more help, she wanted to be the one to aide her, to be there when she needed to. Cosima was so strong and independent, but at the same time she was asking for understanding and support.

“Gosh Delphine are you paying any attention to me?” Jennifer waved in front of Delphine’s face to call her attention.

“Je suis desolé, I was distracted.”

“I was talking to you about Chad! He’s hooking up with another girl.” Jennifer divulged.

“Oui, I heard, good for him.” Delphine was so not into gossiping, she rather be talking with _Cosima_. How weird was that? That she felt more comfortable speaking with a 17 year old girl than her friend.

Delphine went to get more wine and food, this was going to be a long night if she kept being distracted by a kid, _you need to pull it together Delphine, she is not your responsibility and none your business, let her do as she likes,_ she repeated mentally. However she couldn’t, there was something about that girl that pulled her, a need to be there to catch her when she fell.

_Porquoi Delphine?_

__________

Rachel was being pretty smooth about her demands; Cosima had to give Posh Spice points for strategy. She used her words very well and even though she never ever raised her voice, those words carried more weight than intended. She had to be careful with this bitch.

“I told you Rachel, I don’t want to do anything else with you! The government project was it. The. End.” Cosima insisted over and over again.

“I am telling you Cosima, you should be wise and accept my offer, do this for me and I guarantee that your record goes clean.” Rachel was persistent.

“Just leave me alone, dude.” Cosima was on edge. She needed a way to get rid of Rachel once and for all.

Suddenly the countdown to midnight started, so Cosima moved a bit apart from the rest of the kids in class.

_10_

“You are good friend’s with Ms. Cormier, aren’t you.?” Rachel remained by her side.

_8_

“No, we aren’t friends, she’s just a good listener.”

_6_

“I can see that quite clearly.”

_4_

“What do you care?”

_2_

“You love her.”

_1_

“What?” Cosima turned to look at Rachel, rather mad.

_MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!_

Rachel kissed Cosima and this time it was fierce, raw and wild, so hard that she might have bitten Cosima’s lip.

“The fuck are you doing!?” Cosima took two steps back.

“Isn’t it the tradition to kiss whoever is under the mistletoe?” Rachel smirked, her eyes were dark, the taste of victory on her lips.

“Shit.” Cosima kept moving backwards until she bumped into someone, she turned around to apologize when she saw that it was Delphine.

“So sorry Ms. Cormier, I didn’t, I just, um-” Cosima was sure that Delphine saw it, and that made her feel terrible.

“Joyeux Noël Cosima.” Delphine noticed the distressed face on Cosima and of course, the bloody lip. With her thumb, she wiped the smear of blood.

“Um, can you take me home, _please_?” Cosima pleaded. She was scared. Delphine looked at the other girl, Rachel, and she was pretty sure she wasn’t wrong with that strange feeling she felt from her.

“Oui, of course. I’ll get my keys.” Delphine squeezed gently Cosima’s shoulder and went to look for her things.

Rachel approached Cosima, swaying her hips slowly like a viper. She got closer enough to whisper in her ear. Cosima was mad and pretty freaked out, that bitch knew and she only confirmed it with her next words.

“She will _never_ be yours.”


	9. Chapter 9

Delphine could see that Cosima was obviously upset. She looked so conflicted, and it was because of that Rachel girl.

“I don’t mean to pry, but is that girl bothering you?”

Delphine had to ask.

“Rachel? Nah, she’s just a bitch.” Cosima was being evasive, so that meant yes, that _Rachel_ girl was bothering her.

“I see. So, she’s into you and you don’t like her. Is that it?” Delphine kept staring at her lips and glancing away embarrassed after each time she caught herself. Why on earth she was looking at that damn blood? She felt the need to remove the red from her lips, and it was like a bad omen seeing so much blood on Cosima’s lips these past few days.

Delphine focused on the road, making sure to park near her house. She killed the engine and got out to walk Cosima to her home.

The tiny girl turned around and gave her that huge grin of hers. _Does she knows how beautiful she looks when she does that?_ Delphine wondered and immediately slapped herself mentally.

_Stop that!_

“Merry Christmas, Delphine! I, um, I did a thing, can I send it to you later?” Cosima’s eyes were now so bright and excited, how could she deny her?

“I’m very intrigued already; I’ll be waiting for it.” Delphine smiled back at the girl, who was... _blushing_?

“Good night.” Cosima turned on her heel and went inside to the loneliness of her home.    

 

 

 

The next morning Delphine woke up thinking about those two.

Rachel and Cosima.

There was something else that Cosima was not telling her. She didn’t like the English student at all, and she now felt so protective of Cosima that if that girl was hurting her, she was going to intervene.

She went to the kitchen to make some tea; she put a chunk of baguette in the toaster and walked to the living room to turn on her PC. She went back to the kitchen and took out her bread, slathered it with jam and sat to eat. When she was done, she sat in front of her computer to start working on her research.

A couple of hours later she was tired and frustrated with some data she had to analyze, when she saw a small notification in her inbox. She clicked and saw that it was from the geekmonkey, and that made her smile like an idiot for no reason at all.

_Merry Christmas Ms. Cormier! I did a little bit of research on the murine xenograft model for your research you mentioned about the cancer cells of your study. I hope you find this useful. Cosima._

She could not believe how this kid had gone and done incredible data analysis of such a complex topic. She was simply a genius, and she was glad she had met someone like her. Delphine wrote back to Cosima to thank for her gift, only that girl could come up with something as original as scientific research on murine models. She wrote her an e-mail with a digital Christmas card attached to the message, which was pretty lame but it was the most she could do to thank her, and clicked send triumphantly.

________

Cosima opened the attached card and grinned like she just got the best present ever. It was still so much better than the books her mother had given her for Christmas and the gift card that her dad gave her. A Christmas card sent by her angel, her savior, her love: Delphine.

The card had a beautiful _Poinsettia spp._ on the front of the card, and inside the message read: _Cosima you are really one of a kind. Thank you for your wonderful research, I really appreciate it. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate ever to contact me. Ms. Cormier._

The problem was she was dying to contact her for nothing in particular. She needed an excuse to hear her voice or to see her, and now that Rachel was into her, she had to be even more careful. She didn’t want to cause any trouble whatsoever to this wonderful being she had for a teacher. Cosima closed her laptop, she sat with one leg tucked under her and the other stretched out, trying to get comfy. Jamming in her earbuds, she cranked up some music on her iPod. She was scribbling notes about her science project while she read some books with general ideas when it hit her.

“Yeah, that is what I have to do.” Cosima removed the headphones and called her classmate and only friend, Scott.

“Dude, listen to me. We have to work on the science project man, we are pretty behind so we need to meet ASAP.”

Cosima rolled her eyes. “No, dude, not your crib, the _library_.” Even though she was talking on the phone she couldn’t help moving her hands while she spoke with Scott, and she stood up to pace around her room while she discussed what she had in mind.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. Um, this Friday is good, I think.” Cosima nodded.

“Right December 31st correct. Afternoon, maybe 3pm.”

“Yeah, great then. And don’t worry if I tell my mom about it she will let me go ‘cause it’s for the school. Ya know, that’s all hella important to her.” Cosima took her laptop from over her desk and sat on the bed.

“Cool, I’ll call you if anything changes, just wait for my text. Bye dude.” She closed the phone and wrote an e-mail to Delphine in binary. She really liked it this way, it was like she had this unique communication with her and that made it all even more special.

 

 

 

The day finally arrived to meet at the public library. When Cosima arrived, Scott was already waiting her at their table, so she went with her things and sat with Scott to discuss her ideas. After a couple of minutes she saw her beautiful puppy walking like a glorious ray of sunshine into the library. She stood up and waved at her, and once Delphine noticed her she came to meet them. Scott, of course, was pretty surprised to see her goddess.

“Hey Ms. Cormier, thanks for coming! I know that New Year’s Eve isn’t really like, the best day to come to the library and do crazy science, but we’d really appreciate your guidance.” Cosima sat right beside where Delphine was.

“Don’t worry, I did not have anything important to do. Besides, I don’t have plans.”

“Cool.” Scott intervened.

“But this kind of surprised me. Niehaus, you did an outstanding job with the cancer cells research and now you can’t work a simple task such as this project?” Delphine tilted her head, her hair cascading so beautifully over her right shoulder and- _shit, focus idiot, focus!_

“Yeah I tend to jump to conclusions, and well... I totes did the wrong approach to my initial plan, so here we are.” She smiled at her teacher.

“Okay then, let’s see what we have here.”

The three of them spent some time at the library, Scott and Cosima working hard while Delphine guided them through their development. The minutes passed by quickly and almost an hour had gone by. Scott apologized because he had to go back home.

“You don’t have to go back home?” Delphine asked Cosima who was deeply absorbed in several books. Cosima pushed her glasses up her nose to look at Delphine, hesitant to speak but her compassionate eyes gave her confidence to talk.

“Well my mom has to travel so she’s probs is going to sleep early and my dad might be at his office party ‘til late. Trust me, no one’s expecting me home.” That broke Delphine’s heart. How was it possible that no one saw how marvelous this girl was? Without thinking, Delphine took Cosima’s hand in hers and held it. Cosima’s heartbeat went up to the roof, and she started to feel _so_ _nervous_.

“It’s okay Delphine, really.” Cosima was afraid to move, she really wanted to be like this with Delphine holding her hand.

“I’m sorry that you have to spend this holiday in a library instead with friends or family.” Delphine started to stroke her hand with her thumb without realizing it. Cosima thanked that she was in a public space or God knows what idiotic things she would have done. She really wanted to make the whole _being friends_ thing work, but she knew that it was going to require more effort on her part.

“Yeah. Ditto. Obvs.” She smiled at her teacher.

Delphine laughed at her comment.

“Oui, I guess I’m not one to talk.”

Even though Cosima was typing and scribbling notes, every time her shoulder, hand, or knee brushed Delphine’s her heart skipped a bit. The damned butterflies in her stomach were killing her softly, slowly.

The two of them spent the rest of their day in the library until just before it was about to close for the day.

“You did a great job, Cosima.” Delphine patted her gently on the back. The tiny girl smiled awkwardly. She loved when Delphine called her by her first name, and she noticed that was what they usually tended to do when they were alone. The familiarity of each other’s names felt so nice in their mouths.

“Yeah, thanks for the help.” Cosima picked up her things over the table and put them into her bag and returned the books they borrowed. They then left.

 

Delphine offered to take the girl home when she heard Cosima’s stomach grumble in annoyance from not being properly nourished. Cosima felt so flustered. This was ridiculous.

Delphine just laughed. “Someone’s hungry! Let’s get you something to eat first.” Delphine drove to the first fast food place she could see to buy something for Cosima. They ordered through the drive-thru and once they were a few blocks away from Cosima’s home, Delphine stopped.

“Here you go, eat your hamburger.”

“Thanks.” Cosima took her meal and ate with pleasure. She was starving. When she did science she typically stumbled so deep into attempts to find answers that she forgot about the rest of the world. Delphine had the radio on so it filled the silence while they ate their food. Cosima tried to focus on her meal because if she dared to peek at Delphine, she might slip and blow it all.  With a final gulp and a last sip of her drink she was done.

“You done? You sure you don’t want anything else?” Delphine asked.

Cosima looked at Delphine, gathering all her might to _not_ act like an idiot. “I’m stuffed, seriously.” She smiled to reassure the woman.

“Okay. Oh, wait!” Delphine held Cosima’s face in her right hand, and Cosima held her breath.

“Allow me…” With her free hand Delphine took a napkin and carefully cleaned the corner of her mouth, then with her thumb she finished removing the tiny drops of ketchup. However her hands remained on Cosima’s face.

Her face was inches from her, Cosima stared at her lips, her eyes, her _lips_. Her breath was ragged now, and she wasn’t going to hold this in anymore, she couldn’t. This thing inside of her was killing her slowly, day after day, and when Delphine moistened her lips that was it, she went for it and did the unthinkable.

 

Cosima closed the gap between their faces, she pressed her lips over the French woman’s softer ones for 1, 2, 3 seconds and Delphine broke them apart carefully, trying not to be rough.

“Oh my _God._ Delphine, I didn’t mean to disrespect you and I just-” Cosima quickly apologized; she knew it was too late for that now, though.

“ _Non_ , it’s okay, just let me take you home.” Delphine was at Cosima’s place in less than 5 minutes. Cosima got off the car and turned around to see Delphine, to make sure she was not mad. But the woman smiled awkwardly at her and then drove off.

“Shit” She stood there watching her go away, she sighed and then remembered Posh Spice’s  words.

_She will never be yours._


	10. Chapter 10

The new year arrived, and with the onrise of January the cold and the rain swept through as well. After her suspension Cosima was back to school, but this time the stakes were higher.

She had kissed her teacher Delphine Cormier, crossed the line, and with that she probably destroyed her teacher’s trust in her. She didn’t contact her after that event and neither did the woman.

 

Today was the first day that they were going to see each other again. The morning was chilly and the air conditioner did not anything to ease the cold she felt. She was tense and nervous, what would Delphine think of her? What if she sent her to creepy Leekie’s office?.

The bell rang, announcing Biology class, Cosima walked to the next classroom when she bumped into Posh Spice.

“Well, if it’s none other than my genius classmate.” Rachel was not pleased with her rejection last Christmas, but she knew this girl was not going to stop until she did what she requested.

“Why don’t you go back to the hell where you came from?” Cosima tried to move past her but Rachel was right on her ass.

“I will when you do what I asked you to do. Why the rush? Oh don’t tell me, Biology?” And she smiled. Posh Spice was going to be a serious headache if she didn’t make thing clear between them.

Cosima ignored Rachel the rest of the way and went to Biology class, and of course she was late, so when she entered Delphine’s eyes were on her. She froze for one second and then moved on to her usual seat.

The class was as usual, everything seemed back to normal, Cosima hearing music and trying to avoid as much as she could her teacher and Delphine explaining the powerpoint she was using today. The hour passed quickly and when the bell rang the class was dismissed. Cosima waited a bit until everybody was out to approach the desk.

“Um, I’m sorry, for, you know, I was way out of line.” Cosima tried to sound apologetically but she didn’t regret it, that kiss was the most incredible thing ever. And she was very fond of it.

“Don’t worry, nothing happened, we are good Cosima.” And with those words she killed her, _nothing happened_ , Cosima realized that her teacher’s feelings were null towards her.

“Cool.” Cosima’s throat was dry, she felt short of breath so she left.

The days passed and everything seemed back to the usual routine, Cosima looking like a kicked dog staring at Delphine and Delphine focusing on the other kids, ignoring her completely. Rachel was waiting for her to make a mistake, but what that idiot didn’t know was that there was no way she was going to fuck up because there was nothing to fuck up.

_________

How blind she was, Delphine didn’t see it clearly until that night in the car, the way that girl looked at her, _merde,_ she understood that look now. She tried to keep it cool, to act like it didn’t matter, but deep down it did. She couldn’t stop thinking about that night, about her lips on top of hers, she was naïve to ignore that it changed her, Delphine was developing things that she wasn’t supposed to have for a student, a 17 year girl who was probably having conflicted issues with her own sexuality, who knows.

Whatever excuse she could come up with to avoid dealing with this was good for her.

However each class that Cosima came was a class that felt dull without her participation or her input, and she didn’t do anything either to encourage her, she was avoiding her, even if she tried to dissimulate it. She couldn’t look at her the same way she did her other students, there was a pull that she couldn’t resist anymore, the need to always touch her, how could she not noticed the obvious, she was not just attracted to her mind, she was attracted to the girl as well, and oh boy how wrong was that. Did she regret it? _Non_ , she loved touching her face, cleaning her wounds, those tiny moments of intimacy between them meant so much to her, she couldn’t sleep at night or focus in college because the guilt was eating her alive.

And oh god how she hated that Rachel kid, the way she approached Cosima and how she spoke to her made her mad, she wanted to tell her to back off but that was going to be too obvious, the involvement to her student too much, so she let her do as she pleased with her girl.

 

She was conflicted about this situation, it was a real trouble, she was an adult, a professional and she was the voice of reason in all this madness. Cosima might be a mature kid for her age, yet, she was still that, a kid. Delphine had to set the boundaries, she is the one who had to say no, she was in command here, not the other way around. How different would things be if she wasn’t her teacher, and if she wasn’t a minor. If she let her feelings roam freely she was going to end up in jail, ruin her career and future.

_Think Delphine, think!._

She had to be as cool as possible regarding this, she had to forget about it and move on.

__________

“I am done with your shit Posh Spice, I am not into Ms. Cormier so cut it out already.” Cosima said to Rachel while they worked in the AP Government class on some worksheet given by Ms. Fitz. Cosima was tired of arguing with Ms. Fitzsimmons about putting them in group, so she had no other option than to work with her.

“Poor Cosima, you have not seen your face in a mirror, it’s really pathetic the way you stare at her, it’s so obvious now.” Rachel kept writing with her perfect letter her worksheet.

“Bullshit!” Cosima had to insist. Rachel looked at her this time, she even stopped writing in her worksheet.

“Denial at its best. Your puppy in love face is pathetic; love is a waste of time Cosima.” Rachel dismissed her just like that and she went back to work.

Cosima was furious, mocking her stupidity was a thing but mocking her love, her feelings, her heart, she was not going to accept that “You know what? One day love will slap you in the face when you least expect it. And then one day you will be like surprise bitch you thought you’ve seen the last of me.” Rachel just raised an eyebrow and ignored her the rest of the class.

 

 

 

Her science project with Scott was ready, and today they were going to present it to the class, this was the best thing they ever done in high school, the possibility to present their research to apply for scholarships was pretty good. The problem was that they had to present in the class of Ms. Cormier. Cosima had to admit that she resented the woman for not giving a shit about her feelings, she was mad that she didn’t care one bit. She hoped in her stupid in love stupor that she might care for her for real. However she was pretty clear _nothing happened_ , the words echoing in her mind.

Scott was giving his speech until it finally was her turn, when the teacher laid eyes on her she froze, she took a deep breath and started the explanation, once she started rambling it was easier for her to keep a straight face. When they were done the class clapped them and they returned to their seats. Cosima pulled out from her pocket the handkerchief she wanted to give back before but couldn’t. Now, it was time to let go. The bell rang and the class was dismissed, she stood a bit and got closer to Delphine. When she noticed her she then spoke.

“You did a wonderful job Cosima.” Delphine erased the white board prepping it for the next class.

“Thanks, you were very helpful.” Cosima was being honest; because of her help they did a much interesting work.

“I um, I just want to return this.” Cosima handed her the handkerchief. At first Delphine was kind of lost, until she remembered.

“Oh! Merci.” She took the handkerchief from Cosima’s hand. In that instant everything clicked in her mind. The fight in her class, the bloody nose, the handkerchief. She kept it all this time and now she was giving it back. She was giving up on her.

“All right, see you later Ms. Cormier.” Cosima picked her bag from the floor and walked to the door.

“Cosima…” Delphine had no clue what to say, if she asked her to stay she knew she would be giving her hope, if she told her to wait, to stop then she would be accepting her own feelings for the girl.

Cosima stopped walking, waiting, praying, begging to hear one more word from her teacher, to stay with her, to not leave her, but the words never came out. She sighed and walked away.

Delphine thought it was for the best.


	11. Chapter 11

It was a cloudy day. The wind blew strong, and the birds circled around the trees surrounding the football field. Cosima was under the bleachers smoking pot. She hurt inside, and the pain was almost too much to bear. Her heart pumped on inside of her, but she felt dead inside. She exhaled the smoke through her nose and mouth, and her body relaxed over the cold soil. She had tried hard the past few days to erase her existence, but it was not an easy task.

From all the colorful roses on the field she had to pick the most beautiful, but this rose was full of thorns and every time she tried to hold it in her hand, it hurt her. Yet, she was persistent, and she kept moving forward insistently. She was so curious and excited to have it until she couldn’t contain her emotions anymore, so she lunged for it and she caught it, but she pressed so hard against it that the thorns made her bleed, so she had to let go. She got rid of the rose, but she had pressed so hard on that beautiful rose that a thorn got stuck in her palm. It was embedded so deep that it no longer mattered that she had let go of the rose. That thorn reminded her of what she couldn’t have.

It was the thorn that hurt her the most.

_Delphine_

Yes, that was her rose, the one she could not have. The impossible love of her life. Cosima had to wonder what would have happened if Delphine had not become her teacher. The day she met her on the mall they were simply Cosima and Delphine, however that had changed quite quickly after she came to replace Mr. Beraud. Now they were student and teacher. Cosima did not care about the age difference; she was about to turn 18 in one month and a couple of days. The main problem was that she was still in school. She could try to wait until the end of the school year. She _was_ about to graduate from high school and then she was free to do as she liked, to be with whoever she wanted, except that Delphine did not love her back.

 

The bell rang, so she stood up and went to her next class. School now seemed pretty boring, to say the least. The wind was chilly as fuck and it seemed it was going to rain again, so she buttoned her red jacket up to her neck and entered the school building. The halls were almost empty as only late students remained. She was always late so she felt no need to rush. Besides no one was going to miss her from AP Government if she was absent, except for Posh Spice. Cosima turned around, took out her headphones and pressed play on her iPod and left the school building. She wasn’t in the mood to go to class today, so she left. Sounding in her ears was FloRida’s _Right_ _Round_. She laughed at the irony, Delphine spun _her_ head right round all day long; she walked to the nearest bus stop and left for the city.

 

She ended up in the mall where she met Delphine for the first time. She still remembered the way she looked, her brown eyes, her blonde hair, how she bumped into such majestic creature was a joke from destiny. This had to be bullshit, how was it possible that she met someone as wonderful and caring as Delphine to be shoved in her face that she couldn’t have her. She knew this was not a crush, a teen love or whatever, she understood these feelings and she loved the woman, and that’s why this hurt so much, this stupid thorn in her heart was going to be stuck there forever. She kept walking around the stores until she saw a poster that called her attention, it was a dude with dreads, how comfy and easy it was to wear them.  She could forget about brushing her long hair, then she pictured herself wearing them, she smiled because she was going to look pretty hot, she just had to take good care of them, which she could do. Her mind was set, she took out her cellphone and made an appointment with her hairstylist. Good thing that she left school earlier; she could make it into her appointment with no trouble.

________

“I thought she was around in the morning.” Scott was getting anxious now.

“Scott really, she is not going to get into trouble, I just need to know if she really came to school this morning.” Delphine looked at the boy, trying to encourage him to talk.

“Yeah I saw her in the morning, right before the break, she went to, um, you know. That was the last time I saw her.” Scott admitted.

“ _Merci_ Scott.” Delphine kept looking around the school premises; she knew that something was going on when Jennifer commented that Cosima missed class again.

 

Maybe it had something to do with Rachel Duncan. She was worried because she hadn’t gone to the rest of her classes either, and they were already in the last period of the day, so Delphine went and looked for the exchange student. She found the blonde girl in her usual area at the library. She approached the girl and interrupted her work “Excuse-moi, I’m-“

“I know who you are, Ms. Cormier. I suppose you are looking for Cosima.” The hazel eyes of the British were cold, firm and calculating.

“Oui. She has been missing certain classes and you are close to her, I was wondering if you know anything about her whereabouts?” Delphine could feel the tension building in her neck, this girl was intimidating for sure, she looked like she could rule the world.

“No, I am certain I have not seeing her around but don’t worry Ms. Cormier, she can’t stay away from you for too long. She’ll be back.” Rachel smirked in the tiniest hint of a smile, but it wasn’t a good one. This smile was rather evil.

“Thank you for your time.” Delphine got away from that girl as fast as she could; the way she spoke conveyed so much power and knowledge that it was frightening. She didn’t want to be close to that girl. Her words were designed to cause pain, and now she had an idea of how terrible must have been for Cosima to spend time with such a horrible person. She called her parents but of course, no one answered. School was over already and it was already raining hard.

 

Delphine walked to the football field to look under the bleachers, but there was nobody around. She then hopped in her car and went to her house to see if she was there. The drive took her quite some time, the rain making it more difficult to drive. The traffic was insane today from all days, if only she had her cellphone she could call her, Cosima had her number but she was pretty sure she was not going to call. She drove as fast as she could and when she arrived at her street she saw from afar that her house lights were off. She open her door, opened her umbrella and walked to the front door. She pressed the bell but no one came.

_Merde, where are you Cosima?_

 

Delphine went back home, no point driving around without a clue where that girl could be, the clock said it was already 6pm and she had no news of the girl. Delphine was beyond anxious, she was afraid that something happened to her. Maybe she was stuck on the train, or maybe smoking weed somewhere. She tried to calm down, so she brew a cup of coffee. Delphine sat in her porch and drank. The hot coffee sipping into her bones and warming her a bit, the rain and the wind did not showed signs of slowing down. Once she was done with her coffee she went back into her living room, picked up her phone and called Cosima’s house, after the third ring someone picked up.

“Hi, may I speak with Cosima?” Delphine’s voice was full of hope.

“I don’t think she is here, she’s probably with a friend, any message?” The male voice asked.

“Non, merci.” She closed the phone. That had to be her father. That meant that Cosima was still around alone, she knew she wasn’t with Scott, much less with Rachel Duncan.

 

Delphine picked up her keys and drove again around Cosima’s neighborhood, that kid had to be somewhere, and with this rain who knows where she might be stuck, she looked around the library, the bus stops, but she was nowhere to be found, she kept driving around in circles when she noticed a small kid walking under the rain, she tried to get closer but she was driving in the opposite way, though the height was accurate, red jacket on top, but there was something different, the hair.

 _Merde, it was her!_ Delphine made an illegal maneuver and turned around quickly, she stopped her car near the sidewalk and got off the car. The rain was pouring down, and it was cold but she did not mind. She ran after her.

“Cosima!?” Delphine called, the girl stopped and turned around.

“Delphine?” It was her, all drenched in the cold rain. Delphine did not wait longer and ran to embrace her. She felt the girl trembling between her arms, probably too cold from walking under the rain.

“Merde Cosima, you scared the crap out of me! Don’t disappear like this again!” Delphine cradled her face, making sure she was okay, she looked her from head to toe making sure that she was really safe. And then hugged her again.

“I’m sorry.” Cosima was a bit surprised, no one in her life had ever screamed at her, not even her parents, but this woman here scolded her because she was worried.

“Let’s get out of this rain.” Delphine took the girl back into her car and drove away.

_________

Cosima was shivering, it was too cold, and her clothes were drenched. She didn’t carry an umbrella with her and well, she ran out of money after she paid for her dreads, so she walked home. Obvs it got pretty late, but she wasn’t expecting her parents calling anytime to know about her, so she didn’t rush the pace. However, the woman on the driver’s side came.

“Where were you? Why did you disappear from school like that?” Delphine sounded a bit rougher, she was still mad.

“I was not in the mood, so I left early.” Cosima answered.

“Cosima, you are just a girl, you can’t do as you like!” Delphine scolded her again.

“I know, okay? No need to remind me that I’m a kid!” Cosima barked. She was one block away from her house and she didn’t want to keep talking to her.

“Stop the car.”

“We are almost at your house Cosima.”

“STOP. THE. CAR.” Cosima cautioned. Delphine did as she asked, she stopped near the sidewalk. Cosima opened the door and got out back into the rain and resumed her walk home.

Delphine could not let things end like that, she was pissed and with reason, but she wanted to talk to make her understand. Delphine got out as well and followed the tiny girl under the heavy rain.

“Cosima, please stop acting like a child. You’re not five!” Delphine shouted in order to be heard.

“This is what I don’t understand! You’re telling me that I’m a kid, and now you want me be stop being one. Really Delphine, _get your shit together_.” Cosima was furious, she was done being nice.

“Why are you here?” Cosima turned around to face the woman.

“Because I…” Delphine didn’t say anything else, she was so troubled, she removed the wet strand of her from her face. Probably thinking. Cosima didn’t want to spend more time under the rain with her so she spoke instead of hers.

“Forget it, just let me-“

“I can’t stop thinking about that kiss.” Delphine interrupted her.

“Yeah, me neither.” Cosima turned around to resume her walk and stopped “WHAT?” She looked back at Delphine, her face of confusion. “Like, um, not in a bad way?”

“Oh, like, I never thought about bisexuality, I mean for myself, you know? But as a scientist I know that sexuality is a… is a spectrum. But you know, social biases… forget it. What I want to say is that you are not alone Cosima.”

“That’s oddly romantic, totally encouraging and I’m freezing” Cosima gave a nervous smile, trying to ease the tension between them.

Both of them were under the heavy rain, completely soaked in the cold water, the wind blowing against their wet skins, making them shiver but that didn’t matter, Delphine saw the recognition in Cosima’s eyes, the attraction, the forbidden love and she knew that was what her eyes told the girl as well. She was doomed. Her feet moved her forward and she let her feelings win this round.

She cradled Cosima’s face and kissed her deeply, madly, relieving her frustration, pouring all the things she felt into that kiss.

_Wrong_

Cosima responded with the same fierce passion, and letting the rain clean away their sin.

_Wrong_

Delphine surrounded the dreadlock girl with her arms, pressing her close to her body, as if she could shield her from the rain, her tongue gaining access into Cosima’s mouth, tasting her, savoring her.

_Wrong_

Cosima was standing on the tips of her toes. Delphine was too damn tall for her, she anchored herself on the shoulders of the other woman, allowing her keep her balance, and kissed her under the rain.

_Wrong_

Finally they stopped, both gasping for breath, their heartbeats out of control. They didn’t had to talk, as they already knew what they felt for each other, so their lips did the talking. However, they also knew that they couldn’t ignore their common sense that was screaming at them.

_SO WRONG._


	12. Chapter 12

Cosima woke up early for once. That was a real feat for her, but the problem was that she could barely slept last night after they- _shit_ , that was no dream, it actually happened. They had kissed in the rain. Delphine _fucking_ Cormier had kissed the living hell out of her last night. Cosima had the biggest grin on her face. No one could ruin this day for her.

She showered and used her non-residue shampoo to take care of her dreads, washing her scalp carefully and then rinsing the soap from the dreads. Finally she got out and got ready for school, adding her now-trademark makeup and rushing as fast as she could. She got down the stairs to meet her parents at the table.

“Good morning sweet- What did you do?” Her mom was looking at her daughter, but she had no clue what was different about her.

“Hey mom, dad.” Cosima took a toast from one of the dishes on the table and bit into it.

“Looking hella cute, kiddo.” Her dad said.

“Thanks pops. Gotta go now.” Cosima slung her backpack over her shoulder and left.

She wanted to be on time for once in her life, she wanted to be early to see Delphine, but by the time she made it to the school the bell had just rung.

“God damn it!” Cosima had to run to her locker and pick up her things for first period class before she was totally late.

________

Delphine was in the teacher’s lounge drinking her morning coffee and looking over some worksheets. Nonetheless, she couldn’t stop thinking about last night, about that petite girl who had her doing insane things. Never in a million years had Delphine thought that she was going to be kissing someone younger than her, an underage girl that is. This was not like she was 18 and Cosima 17, oh no, she was 7 years older than her, making her the perverted woman in this story. To make it even worse, she was the _teacher_ of that same girl. How more messed up this could get? This was only the second time they got close and personal, and she was the one who initiated the approach. Guilty as charged.

Delphine sighed. The remorse was driving her insane, but the worst part was that her desire to kiss her again was overriding her logic make the right decision and stay away from her. After all, who was the adult in the situation?

“Merde!” Frustrated, Delphine kept reviewing her papers. She had to stop thinking about that girl. She had to stop this insanity, until she at least graduated. If she was interested for real. Maybe Cosima was excited because this was dangerous and risky, maybe getting it on with the teacher was all it was about for her. It was the dream of many teenagers to be fulfilled by her. She had no clue what to think of this except that she had to stop this right here, right now. She was probably also in a weird stage of experimenting. After all, Cosima was the first girl she had ever kissed. However, the feelings she had for that kid were growing since she got to know her. This wasn’t a drill. She was really getting to a point beyond simple physical attraction.

She was truly falling in love with her.

“Delphine? You okay in there?” Jennifer touched Delphine’s shoulder briefly to take her out of her trance.

“Yes, I’m sorry. It’s just the uni classes.” Delphine had to come up with something, so she said the first thing that crossed her mind.

“Too much work?” Jennifer sat near Delphine and dropped her books on the table.

“Yes, a bit too much.” Delphine smiled, picked up her things and her cup of coffee and walked to her mailbox. The bell was about to ring and she had classes to teach. She finished drinking her coffee and threw the cup into the garbage near her, she took her laptop and books and walked to her classroom. The halls were still empty so they were quite, the only thing that could be heard was the click of her small heels against the waxed floor. Delphine looked behind her to see the British girl walking with principal Leekie. She saw when they got into his office but right before Rachel went in she looked straight at Delphine. Delphine felt a chill go down her spine and tried to ignore it. She turned around and resumed her path to her classroom.

__________

The day went agonizingly slow for Cosima, as she was desperate to be in Biology since she had stepped into school. All the classes were boring, and the need to see her wonderful biology teacher was making her anxious. So once the bell rang for lunch she went to her favorite place right under the football bleachers to smoke a joint. There she relaxed as much as she could. She removed her glasses and rested her forehead on her arm, her eyes closed peacefully.

She pictured Delphine, the pressure of her lips, her tongue dancing inside her mouth, her hands on her hips and back, the friction of their bodies sliding together. This was not one of her many fantasies, this was reality, and it was amazing. That was a damn fine kiss, probably the best kiss she ever had, and she knew she wanted more of that. It was mind-blowing and as good as pot, as addicting as eskimo pies and she had no clue what she was going to do with her life now that she had tasted heaven.

Once she was done with her joint she got up, put on her dark frames over her nose and stood up. She started to walk back to the school building. The wind was chilly against her skin. Today she wore her dreads in a bun, her usual red jacket providing some warmth against the constant breeze. The bell was about to ring any minute and she wanted to be on time to Biology so she walked a little bit faster. The pot made her feel a bit lightheaded so her nerves were not as wrecked as before. She walked until she reached her locker, she opened it and took the books she needed for the next periods. Right when she closed the locker she saw  Posh Spice beside her, leaning rigidly against the locker next to hers.

“Are you kidding me? What do you want Rachel?” Cosima looked at the other girl pointedly.

“Cosima, I only need a name. You research for me and I’ll leave you to your own… _affairs_.” Rachel was insisting again, however her words carried so much weight.

“I told you, I’m not interested.” The bell rang and Cosima turned around to go to class.

“But you will be. I can assure you that, Cosima.” Rachel left the silent threat hanging in the air. Cosima knew that Rachel’s patience was running out because there wasn’t much subtlety in her words anymore. She was being extremely straightforward. She wanted the name of the responsible of her parents’ accident. The question was, why didn’t she ask to the London police? She had the money and power, why did she think Cosima could find out when her own people couldn’t? Cosima pondered for a while the answer and then it hit her.

 _Because she knows what you’re capable of._ That had to be the only reason why she had come all the way to San Fran from England.

Cosima had to leave these thoughts aside because right now all her attention was on the beautiful majestic French puppy who was seated at the desk arranging her materials for today’s class. She went to her usual desk and sat beside Scott. But today she wasn’t going to plug in her earbuds and tune out the world, he was going to see her and listen to her because she was ready to deal with this, and it seemed Delphine was ready as well.  When she called for her, she noticed the rosy color of her cheeks. Cosima was grinning, completely lost in her. The depth of her beautiful eyes, her freckles and that cute dimple that sent her to heaven. She could stare at her all day and she would never get tired of it.

The class was incredible. Cosima was so motivated to participate and every time Delphine asked her about the topic in discussion she would give her a small smile, reserved only for her.

The class was gone in the blink of an eye, which was ridiculous. When she was in complete denial the class seemed to go slower, but now it went even faster than before. Everybody picked up their things and while all the others left the classroom, Cosima walked discreetly to talk to her.

“Um Ms. Cormier? I have a couple of questions I would like to discuss. Would you have time by any chance?” Cosima asked casually.

“Ah yes of course, Cos, er, Niehaus. Come by at lunch.” Delphine turned around and started to erase the whiteboard to prepare for the next group.

“Cool, thanks.” Cosima got out of the classroom and walked to her next class.

________

Delphine had never been so nervous, having that girl in her class was a total bliss, particularly when she participated like today. However Delphine knew that was not the only reason she enjoyed this class. She was so attuned to each movement, each expression, how her hands moved around while she contributed to the class. She _definitely_ liked all that. She particularly loved how those dreadlocks looked on her, and wearing them in that bun left exposed her neck and she was so enticed by how that vein popped when she talked. She wanted to trace it with her lips, she wanted to do explicit things with her. Just a girl.

Delphine sighed. That was the huge problem, she was attracted to her, a high school student. She had to act responsibly, and Delphine knew they needed to talk about what happened. Cosima was smart, she had to understand their precarious situation.

Delphine finished all her classes, so she seated in her chair and started to work on her laptop, nonetheless she kept glancing at her watch, counting the minutes to see that tiny dork student of hers. How had that girl ended up in her heart? Delphine had no clue, she just knew that meeting her was completely life changing.

 

Such an optimistic girl, so kind and giving. All those features made her an incredible person. Besides, she was cheeky, and those fangy teeth she had were the cutest thing ever. However her eyes, you could see in them a spark of ingenuity and sensuality all mixed up. She was certainly attractive as well, no point denying the obvious, and she had this fascination with life. Her presence made the world seem brighter and more vivid than before. The bell rang announcing lunch time, which meant that she was going to come to meet her as they previously agreed. Delphine only could hope that she was coming to ask real questions about the class, but she knew her. Cosima was more than clear in the topics discussed, she was coming to have the talk.

A knock on the door and there she was, smiling widely.

“Hey, can I come in?” She leaned against the doorjamb, waiting for her response.

“Oui, what can I do?” Delphine stopped typing on her laptop and gave her full attention to the girl who walked right in front of her desk.

“Me?” She smiled. She was so bold, as always. Delphine was red, and tried to muffle a laugh.

“Mon Dieu Cosima Niehaus, you are a serious thing.” Delphine smiled back at her.

“But you know we need to talk about-“ A knock on the door startled them both, and Jennifer peeked inside.

“Oh hello Niehaus! You busy Delphine?” Jennifer asked.

“Non, we are done here.” Delphine stood from her chair and she turned her back to Jennifer while she put her things inside her bag and whispered to Cosima.

“Meet me at the music classroom in 20 minutes.” Cosima nodded in understanding.

“Thanks Ms. Cormier.” Cosima left Delphine’s classroom and went to the cafeteria to eat something while Delphine talked with Ms. Fitz.

“What’s up Jennifer?” Delphine made it seem like she was leaving school. After all, she was done with her shift.

“Remember the sub we talked about? Here’s the material, and thanks a lot friend. I owe you.” Jennifer gave her the material. Delphine forgot completely that she was going to help Jennifer with her class tomorrow while she was at the swimming competition with her team.

“Anytime. I have to go now, have a nice day!” Delphine checked her watch, it was time, so off she went.

_________

Cosima was pacing around the dark music room. No one ever came here at this time of day, so she had to give points to Delphine for thinking of it so quickly. Her heart was beating so hard it seemed it was to burst from her chest. Suddenly the door creaked open, and her breathing stopped for a second, but she relaxed when she saw Delphine.

She exhaled in relief.

“Hey.”

“Hello Cosima.” Delphine closed the door softly and walked near her student, the teacher left her things on a desk and took a deep breath before speaking again.

“We need to talk about the other night. It’s madness, Cosima.” Delphine tried to sound reasonable.

“Why? I like you, you like me, it’s pretty simple to me.” Cosima declared.

Delphine rested her hand on her cheek. How she loved to touch her.

“You know it’s not simple, you and I. It’s not okay, you’re just a kid, a high school girl who has a bright future.”

“Because I’m 17? Delphine I’m turning 18 in less than four weeks. And yeah, it’s weird that you’re my teacher right now, but graduation is in three months. And you know what? This is bullshit! Now it’s wrong but in a couple of months it’s not? It’s ridiculous.” Cosima was desperate, she understood what Delphine meant, but she was not going to quit on her.

“Cosima, maybe you are just bedazzled with this idea of-“

“NO! No, Delphine! What I feel for you isn’t just a _thing_.” Cosima’s eyes were pleading, pouring all her feelings in those words. Delphine just hugged her, she closed her eyes and let the heat of Cosima soothe her.

“Why does loving you have to be wrong?” Cosima laid her head on the blonde’s shoulder.

Delphine caressed her back softly. “It’s not, I just said it was crazy.” Cosima took a step back to look at the woman in front of her. Delphine had the sweetest smile ever, Delphine tipped her head and leaned down to kiss her softly.

“Ma chérie, I care about you and that is why I’m begging you to be patient.” She kissed her again.

“Okay, but just so you know, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to steal kisses from you Ms. Cormier.” Cosima grinned. The bell rang for classes, but Cosima simply ignored it and kissed Delphine with all her might.

Delphine was receptive, accepting her kiss and they were both so hot and hungry. Delphine pushed her to the back of the classroom, kissing her hard, until there was nowhere else to go. Cosima was sandwiched between the wall and the taller woman kissed her senseless. Her hands roamed all over her body. Cosima gave her access to her neck, and on cue, Delphine trailed kisses down her jaw and into her neckline, sucking hard. Cosima moaned and that sent  the French woman to the seventh hells, and she bit her lip softly. Cosima smiled and pushed Delphine a bit to give her space and walked to the musical instruments. She shrugged her jacket off and threw it on top of the drum kit. Walking over, she sat on top of the piano and with her index finger beckoned for the blonde to come to her, and she did.

Delphine was quick to take possession of her mouth. Cosima’s hands were entangled in the soft curls of Delphine’s hair, and she kissed her like it was the end of the world.

Things were heating up quickly and even though Cosima was ready to go all the way to the end, Delphine was the one who had to restrain them, so she broke the kiss. She bumped softly her forehead against Cosima’s until they both regained the ability to breathe again.

“You were supposed to be in class, chérie.” Delphine traced the lips of her dork with her thumb.

“I don’t think I missed much, besides I prefer to study the language François.”

Delphine had to laugh, she always made her laugh. “My cheeky girl.” She kissed the tip of her nose and then her forehead.

“I have to go now, but I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Delphine asked.

“Yeah, of course.” Cosima was so happy, she was beaming with happiness.

“So patience, huh? What if we meet casually at the mall this weekend, you know, and we casually hang out and, let’s say by a huge coincidence we have tickets for the same movie. Would that be suspicious?” Cosima raised her eyebrows in wonder.

“If it happens once, I don’t think so.”

“Cool, okay. I think I can work with that.” Cosima smiled and pecked Delphine on the lips before getting down off the piano. She picked up her jacket and let Delphine go out first, she waited a couple of minutes and then she went out of the music classroom as well, making sure that no one noticed her.

Cosima could be patient, or at least she could try because tasting those sinful lips and then fight the urge to kiss them again was going to be agonizing. She just had to be careful, that was all. She could do this. She just had to hide her illicit relationship with Delphine until she was out of school and then no one would take her woman away from her.

Except there was a slight problem to all of this. There was a wolf hunting her, a sneaky viper ready to strike, someone who she called Posh Spice.


	13. Chapter 13

Cosima couldn’t have been happier. Each day was pure joy, and suddenly Cosima was on time to all her classes, particularly Biology. Each Biology class was a challenge for her to keep it in her pants, to avoid staring too long at Delphine. When Cosima called her teacher to ask questions or ask for help during a lab, they always found a way to touch briefly, and the small contact was enough to keep them from going insane.

Cosima went from one class to the other trying to keep it cool, to act the same as usual, however it was pretty hard when Delphine had become the center of her world. When she wanted to kiss her day and night, to touch her, to feel her hands over her body, her perfume drove her mad, and the sensation of her soft hair between her fingers drove her insane. It was crazy.

The strength of these feelings were something that caught her by surprise. Delphine was ingrained deep in her soul and heart. She loved her like she had never loved before and that was scary, of course, and insecurity was beginning to start to show its ugly face. She was simply a teen/adult, and that made her wonder what if Delphine found her attractive for a while. What if she bored her? What if she found someone else? Those questions haunted her. Delphine was finishing her master’s program, and she was just about to graduate from high school. Thinking clearly those differences were huge between them, Delphine didn’t had time to take care of a kid like her who was starting to fly into the world. Delphine had better things to do, and she had a home back in France. What was she going to do if Delphine got tired of her?

Cosima tried to push those thoughts aside. She had to live now, and she was going to enjoy it as much as she could.

“What is it Cosima? You seem rather absent this last few days.” Rachel looked scornfully at Cosima.

“Yeah? Maybe it’s because I learned how to ignore disdainful bitches like you.” Cosima smiled cheekily at her enemy.

“Really? And here I thought it was because your girl was banging someone else.” Rachel smirked.

That made Cosima feel uncomfortable. She didn’t want to show it, but she just did. She never really thought about that. Delphine probably had some lovers in her life. They couldn’t be together. She asked for patience, so what if… _STOP, don’t let that Posh bitch see how she is affecting you with her comments._

“I don’t have a girl, so you can stick those comments up your ass.” Cosima continued working in class, ignoring that damn girl as best as she could. But the damage was done. She was scared of losing Delphine, and she was a total idiot for listening to Rachel. She wished she could claim Delphine for her alone, but there was so much they didn’t know about each other, so it was time to change that.

She was going to ask her on a date.

The next day they met in their usual spot, the music classroom. The place had become their sanctuary, their love nest where they shared passionate kisses and touched without fear of being caught. Here they could talk freely and share wonderful moments together. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of their kisses and their moans. It was their special place.

Cosima and Delphine sat on the floor against the wall of the music classroom, hiding in the darkest corner of the room. Cosima held Delphine’s hands, their fingers entangled. Cosima was appreciating the wine color of the nail polish Delphine was wearing today. She always painted her nails in beautiful red colors and she loved it, while in contrast Cosima never did.

“So what do you say if we go out tomorrow night?” Cosima dared to ask.

“Go out? Like on a date?” Delphine looked a bit astonished.

“Sure, I mean, obvs we can’t be like together, but I want to be with you outside school you know. I want to feel like a normal couple.”

“Ma chérie, I know, and believe me, I want to be with you too. But it’s pretty risky, what if one of us slips up?” Delphine traced Cosima’s jawline with her knuckles.

“Let’s go and watch a movie, please Delphine. I will keep my hands to myself, I promise.” Cosima really wanted to go out with her, she didn’t care if they did nothing, she just wanted to be out of school.

“Mon trésor I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself, which is the problem.” Delphine smiled, pulled Cosima softly to her and kissed her; the taste of pot in her mouth was now something Delphine associated strongly with her.

“Okay let’s go out. I’ll text you the movie and time, we will meet inside the cinéma, d’accord?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Cosima leaned against Delphine, her head resting on her shoulder. Delphine caressed her back. They stood like that for a while until the bell announced it was time for class.

Cosima kissed Delphine goodbye and went to her next classroom.

She was now more than excited; even though it wasn’t a normal date it was something, so far all her encounters have been in school premises and in the dark, the musical instruments their witness of their making out sessions. She just had to be patient for the weekend. Just a couple more days.

__________

Delphine had been working on her laptop all night long. Besides texting Cosima there was nothing more interesting she could do. She was tired, so she closed the lid of her computer. She served herself a glass of wine and sipped the cold liquid. She knew she was doing the most irresponsible thing of her life. After being the good girl during her teenage years, she was now on the verge of ruining her life if any of this between Cosima and her got out. Was the risk worth it? _Oui_ , it was.

That girl had made her feel things that no one sparked in her before, but she had to be conscious that it was not okay. March was so close now, which meant that her 18th birthday was just around the corner, and that was going to be one less problem she should have to think about. The guilt was killing her. She wished she could feel worse for what she was doing, her sin was too great, but she didn’t. Her feelings for Cosima were overwhelming her common sense. The logic was losing the battle and she was hanging to it by just a thread, she wanted the girl, wanted in all the sense of the word, she desired her, she lusted her. That control she had was slipping, every day they met her hands roamed lower, her kisses too deep, she was like a horny teenager wanted to do it with her crush.

Now they were going to go out to the movies. This was not the dream date she deserved. Delphine wished she could take her to the beach or take her to dinner in a nice restaurant, but the risk was just too much. Anyone could see them, and finding them together publicly was going to be awkward in any place except for the library or school. But she wanted to please her, she couldn’t say _no_ to her, so she accepted.

Next morning once Delphine completed her classes she went to sub for Jennifer. The Government teacher was having swimming competitions, and as coach, she had to be there with her team. So Delphine went to the AP Government classroom to assign the class what Jennifer had left for them.

“Please make sure to fill out all worksheets before the class ends.” Delphine instructed. She then walked around the classroom distributing  the material to each student. She saw Cosima seated at the back, and Rachel Duncan right beside her. She kept delivering the material, when she passed beside Cosima to give her the worksheet; their hands grazed briefly, enough to make Cosima smile. Delphine moved to where Rachel was and handed her the papers, however the Brit was as good an observer as her classmate.

“Oh dear, would you mind hiding your lady boner Cosima?”

“Would you mind going back to the hole where you came from?”

That was the usual for both. Verbal violence and trying to outsmart each other with their sass was typical. However, Rachel had to take the upper hand now that she had been given this opportunity to provoke a reaction that would leave Cosima vulnerable. She knew exactly what buttons to press with her. Cosima saw when Rachel walked towards Delphine, she was tempted to go and get her away from her but that was not wise, not when Rachel was still playing games.

“J'ai entendu beaucoup de choses sur vous.” Rachel looked at Delphine, eyes scanning her features.

“Vous l'avez? Comment est-ce?” Delphine responded.

The two of them kept talking, and it was in this moments where Cosima really wished she knew French to understand what the hell Rachel was talking about with her teacher. She was so distracted by them that she stopped doing her classwork. After a couple of minutes Rachel came back to her.

“Ms. Cormier is a really interesting woman, no wonder you admire her so much, Cosima.” She sat again, crossing her legs in that sophisticated way of hers. “And the answer is to provide a political platform for the candidate and to share identical views in an election.”

“What?” Cosima was lost now.

“Your worksheet, it’s exactly where you were 15 minutes ago. I took a peek before I went to speak with Ms. Cormier. Come on Cosima that was an easy question. Don’t tell me you’re having trouble focusing in class?” Rachel smiled, that smug expression was irritating Cosima.

“Not at all bitch, mind your own business.” Cosima started to work, she knew Rachel had all the intention to provoke her and talking with Delphine was a part of her scheme. Rachel knew that Cosima watched her, ergo, her unfinished worksheet.

 _Shit_.

Cosima knew she had blew it, so she had better step up her game or she was going to ruin it.

Once the class was over she delivered her worksheets quickly, trying to leave Delphine to her business and getting away from Rachel. Cosima did not remain in school after classes to avoid getting tempted to kiss Delphine, so she walked to the bus stop and went to buy more pot since her stash was low again.

Cosima headed to Haight Street to look for her number one source of pot, the weird Ukrainian girl Helena. She walked into Golden Gate Park until she spotted the usual green coat covering the blonde.

“Yo! What’s up dude?” Cosima greeted her dealer.

“Hello friend, good to see you. I have something for you.” Helena took out from her pocket a small bag. Cosima examined its contents and noticed that it was great quality.

“How much?” Cosima was taking out her wallet.

“It’s yours for free. You have been good to me. I won’t be selling anymore. My sestra came for me.” Helena looked so happy, Cosima frowned, not quite getting what the Ukrainian was talking about.

“Dude, this is at least 80 bucks! You sure you want to give it to me?” Cosima waited.

“Yes, my sestra came to take me home. My business is now in the hands of that guy over there. Mark is his name.” Helena put on her hoodie to cover from the wind.

“Okay, cool. I guess this is goodbye then. Um, good luck with your sestra.” Cosima put the package in her bag and walked away.

Finally the weekend was upon them. Cosima was smoking in her room while getting ready to meet Delphine at the movie theatre. She wanted to look good for her, so she dressed as best as she could. The problem was that as usual, she didn’t take into account the time. When she arrived at the movie theater, the movie had already started.

“Shit, where is she?” Cosima walked into the dark room, the movie had already started and people were scattered throughout the theater. At least it wasn’t that full so she squinted her eyes trying to pinpoint her location. She kept walking around until she finally saw her.

Cosima moved between the rows of chairs until she reached the one beside Delphine. “Hey, sorry for being late.” Cosima whispered.

“I know chérie, I’m glad you came.” Delphine smiled at her and then focused her attention on the movie.

So they sat there watching the movie silently, Cosima took her hand and entangled her fingers with hers. However Cosima was already bored. She really didn’t like dramas, and she would have chosen Captain America instead of this movie, but then what if Delphine thought she was childish? She really needed to deal with these insecurities. She was so awkward with people already, and being in a relationship with a woman almost twice her age was complex enough. She looked at Delphine’s profile and how beautiful it was. It was distracting enough that she completely forgot  about the movie. Her whole focus was on the concentrated face of the woman beside her, watching her movie, eating her popcorn. Her attention on the movement of her mouth chewing slowly, the way she put each piece in her mouth was sultry enough to make her wet.

Delphine seemed to notice the sudden closeness of her companion. When she turned her face to see what she was up to she found herself trapped in her hazel eyes, she was so so _so_ close. Cosima didn’t wait a second longer and went for her lips, kissing her softly, tenderly, trying to make Delphine feel a bit of what she had inside of her. Cosima had her hand on the nape of Delphine’s neck, pulling her closer, letting her know how badly she wanted to be kissed by her.

“Cosima, I thought we were going to watch a movie.” Delphine whispered close to her ear.

“I’m bored.” Cosima bit her neck softly, knowing how much Delphine liked it there. Delphine tried to muffle her moans, but it was getting harder and harder with the insistence of her girl.

“Then why did you choose this movie?” Delphine’s words were faltering.

“Would you have come and watched a superhero movie with me instead?” Cosima kept kissing her neck, tracing kisses along her jawline, everywhere she could. However Delphine felt the need to stop, she had an idea what was going on. So she cradled Cosima’s face and held it there, steadying both of them.

“You thought I wouldn’t have come or that I would have say no?”

Cosima shrugged.

“Chérie, why on earth would you assume that? I would have watched any movie you picked. Because I care about your tastes, your likes and dislikes.”

“I know, it’s just that, I mean, I don’t know much about you, and I behave sometimes really immature and you are so adult and-”

Delphine kissed Cosima, her tongue slipping inside her mouth, shutting her up.

“Okay?” Cosima was breathless.

“Do you think I would have kissed you like that if I considered you a child?” Delphine was close to her, her eyes locked with Cosima’s.

“No.”

“You don’t have to change for me, I like you just the way you are with all your dorkiness and sass, d’accord?” Cosima nodded and Delphine hugged her tight.

“I promise you that I will make sure to show you how much I want you, as a birthday gift of course. Trust me when I tell you that I don’t think of you as a kid anymore.” Delphine kissed her cheek and resumed watching the movie, she held Cosima’s hand and did not let go.

Cosima tried to behave as well, letting the company of Delphine filled her happy soul. Her birthday was now just a few days away, and for the name of Charles Darwin, she was ready to let Delphine show how much she meant it. That was a promise she was going to make sure she fulfilled.


	14. Chapter 14

It was a chilly morning, and the wind blew softly and the birds were singing. Delphine was smoking while Cosima pushed her swing back and forth. It was really early in the park, and not one soul was to be seen around. It was empty at this time of the day, and therefore a good time to spend together. They usually met at different points in the city throughout the week, sometimes a coffee shop, other times in the supermarket, and today in the park near Delphine’s place.

Cosima pushed with more strength to help Delphine swing harder. They were having so much fun, and these last few days that they spent together they used the time to get to know each other. They shared personal stories and talked about their dreams, and about their plans for the future. It was clear that they both shared a passion for science. That was what connected them in the first place. But that connection ran deep, and they had an understanding of each other. It seemed like it was almost destiny bonding both women together.

“You can stop pushing now Cosima!” Delphine said between giggles. Cosima moved to the side to let the swing diminish its speed. Cosima grabbed Delphine’s, pulling her up from the swing.

“That was so much fun.” Delphine took a last drag on her cigarette and smashed the butt with her heel.

“If only you had smoked a joint. I assure you that would have been too much fun.” Cosima smiled and held her hand.

“One day I promise, however not today. We have to go to school in a couple of hours.”

“Okay cool, one day.” Delphine leaned down to kiss her girl, because that’s how she felt. They didn’t need titles to acknowledge the love they had for each other. Cosima was on the tip of her toes trying to reach the lips of her lovely lady, and Delphine’s arms surrounded her hips, pulling her closer, their bodies tight, their hearts beating harder against the inside of their chests.

Delphine straightened herself, breaking the magic of their kiss. She offered her hand to Cosima to walk to her car, Cosima accepted it and walked happily by her side.

“So I was thinking… I would love to invite you to dinner. After all, your birthday istomorrow and I think it is best if we celebrate today.”

“Yeah, I like that, where are we going?” Cosima tilted her head, trying to come up with possible places to meet.

“Non chérie, I will cook for you. It’s your special day, and the best I could do is prepare something special.” Delphine shone when she smiled. It was almost magical.

“You’re going to cook for me? Really?” The emotion in Cosima’s eyes was so touching. Delphine could only imagine how lonely she had been these past birthdays of her, where her parents spent their day working and she stood home alone. Delphine wanted to provide great memories for this girl who deserved only the best from her.

“Oui, I will make something very special, so be ready at 9pm.”

“Of course, I’ll be ready.” Together they went to school. Delphine dropped Cosima near the bus stop so no one saw them arrive in the same vehicle.

Cosima went to her locker to pick her books for the first period when she heard the sound of heels clicking on the floor. Shit. Cosima closed her locker quickly to move away, but she was intercepted by Rachel.

“Don’t you have anyone else to bother?” Cosima went straight to the point.

“No beating around the bush? That’s good. My patience is also running out, Cosima. Tell me what I need to know, and I’ll be gone. Keep ignoring my request, and I guarantee that those close to you will suffer.” Rachel retreated after she spat her venom at her.

Cosima didn’t care if she messed with her, but now she was talking about the ones close to her. Was she really psychotic enough to do something to her parents or worse, Delphine?

Yeah, she is.

Cosima couldn’t let fear paralyzed her, she was beyond clever to fall in her traps. Rachel was taunting her to act reckless, to do something that would prove her suspicions correct, because that was all she had, suspicions. Cosima kept moving from one class to the other, talking with Scott to distract herself and forget about the words of Posh Spice. She had to focus on the wonderful evening she was going to have with her beautiful French girl.

Once Cosima finished her last test of the day she sighed. She felt pretty tired. She was mentally drained from all the school homework and Posh Spice’s bullshit. She felt really fatigued, but the thought of Delphine cooking for her tonight made everything worth it. So she went home to take a nap, set like three alarms in order to wake up and be ready on time. She closed her eyes and let her stale body rest.

The sound of the alarms woke her up, she extended her hand to press snooze, but she already predicted this was going to be her action, so the other alarms were as far away  from her bed as possible.

“Damn, nicely done Cosima.” She rolled off her bed, turn off all alarms and went straight to the bathroom. She showered with her products to smell fantastic. She dressed up with a nice dress which she combined with black leggings and black shoes. She put on her make up and and arranged her dreads in a bun. Once she was ready, she started to go down the stairs when a voice surprised her.

“Going somewhere sweetie?” Cosima turned around to find her mother at the kitchen drinking coffee and writing in her notepad.

“Hey mom, um, yeah I’m hanging out with -think quickly- Scott, yeah.”

“Scott? I think it’s kind of late for you two to be hanging around.”

Shit, now my mother is worried that I spend the night with Scott? Are you serious?

“No, it’s not just me and Scott, we are actually, um, going to you know, ehm, yeah Rachel invited us. Like you said, she just wants to be friends.”

“Oh that makes me so happy, she is a wonderful girl. I’m glad you’re spending time with her.”

“Yeah, me too mom. See ya later.” Cosima walked to the front door and when she got out she sighed. Wonderful time for her mother to be asking her whereabouts. But she believed in Posh Spice so much that it was the best excuse she could come up with to disappear. Cosima checked her watch. Oh crap. She was going to be late.

_________

Delphine waited patiently at the meeting place, and as always, Cosima was late. Delphine started to review in her head, double-checking mentally that everything was ready. She had left the Beef Bourgignon in the oven with the timer set, and the tart was stored in the fridge. The wine was cold, the table already set. She just had to set the candles on when she got home. A knock on the window surprised her, but she calmed down when she noticed it was Cosima smiling like a dork. Delphine opened the passenger door to let her in.

“Bonsoir ma chérie!” She leaned to greet Cosima with a quick kiss.

“Hey Delphine, sorry I was late, but my mom was at home for once.” Cosima put on the seatbelt.

“Oh, did you have trouble?” Delphine turned on the car and drove away.

“No I made up something, so there’s no need to worry.”

“Okay, let’s have some fun tonight.”

Once Delphine reached her place she parked her car in the garage and got out. As soon as Cosima got out, she started to look all around her. She stepped onto the front porch and saw the swing. She quickly went to sit on it to test it out. Delphine couldn’t help but giggle at her curiosity.

“Come in.” Delphine opened the door and let the petite girl pass. Cosima was astonished to see the habitat of her favorite person. The place was in such order, organized, nothing compared to the chaos of her room.

Delphine left her bag on the couch and headed to the kitchen to get everything ready. “Make yourself at home Cosima, everything is ready.”

“Cool, thanks.” Cosima walked around the collection of books Delphine had in her living room to check them out before sitting down at the table. “You really have a nice place. It feels kind of homey, you know?”

“Glad you like it! Here you go.” Delphine put on the center of the table the food she had prepared alongside the tartlets. The bottle of wine was in the refrigerator with ice, and she took it and opened the bottle to serve the glasses.

“This smells really good.” Cosima was impressed. The food look incredible delicious and the smell was appetizing. Delphine sat at the table, took her napkin and spread it over her lap.

“Bon appetite Cosima.” She smiled before serving the beef. Cosima accepted her dish graciously and when she bit into it for the first time, the moans of enjoyment were quite satisfying for Delphine.

The two of them talked about trivial things over dinner. Delphine was so pleased with herself. Cosima’s face told her everything she needed to know, and it was rewarding like she never thought it would be. She loved the meal and the fact that she prepared food for someone was a new thing for her. How she loved to get caught in science conversations with her, the way she moved her hands to try to explain her point of view was the cutest thing on earth. How could she not love her? Delphine smiled and giggled like a teenager. She made her feel alive and so young, her enthusiasm was contagious, there was no other person in the world who could make her feel like this.

“Merci Cosima, you are one of those surprises that arrive when you less expect it.” Delphine held Cosima’s hands in hers and kissed her palm softly.

“Yeah. Ditto. Obvs.” Her cheeks turned pink, and it was damn cute as well.

“Well I would like to toast for your health, and that you may have many more birthdays.” Delphine raised her glass and took a sip. Cosima did the same.

“Actually, my birthday is still a couple of hours away.”

“C’est vrai, mais in France it’s already March 9th.” Delphine got closer to her and kissed her, tasting the flavor of the wine in her lips.

“Timezones! That’s hella rad.” Cosima drank more wine to ease her nerves.

“You sit tight while I go and wash the dishes.” Delphine pecked the petite girl on the lips once more before heading to the kitchen.

“Hey, I can be of help you know.” Cosima turned on the TV and started zapping through channels.

“It’s your day chérie, let me take good care of you.” Delphine washed all the dishes, and even though it was a lot to clean, she wanted Cosima to relax and feel cared for. Once she was done, she checked on Cosima, who was asleep on the couch. Delphine’s heart melted at the sight of her. She wanted to hold her tight against her body and protect her from all the evil from the world. Instead she headed to her bedroom and turned the candles, she changed her clothes and put on a robe and took out one of her white T-shirt to give it Cosima so she could get comfortable. She walked to the living room, turned off the TV and called for Cosima softly.

“Mon amour, wake up! We need to move you to a comfortable place.” After a couple more tries Cosima was half awake. She guide her to the bathroom to allow her to wash her face and brush her teeth with a spare toothbrush she had on the cabinet. Then she handed the white T-shirt that was too long for her pretty geek monkey. Once she got out of the bathroom she took her hand and let Cosima get inside the covers of her bed.  Delphine removed her glasses and put them on the bedside table. Cosima was too tired and fell asleep in no time. Delphine smiled in happiness, this girl was coiled in her heart, if she tried to remove her that was going to be the greatest pain of her life. Delphine got under the covers with Cosima and watched her sleep until sleep claimed her as well.

And just like that both of them dreamt with one another, being so close and so far away, because in the end they understood that sooner rather than later the pain was going to catch up with them. And it was going to hurt a lot.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this week you got three chapters people, because in my mind we were celebrating the Cophine fluff-fest week, but now we return to our regular schedule (Wed/Sat), and YOU'RE WELCOME ;)  
> Love,  
> Tana

It was already Sunday morning, March 9th. Today she turned 18. She was _finally_ going to be considered an adult. The sun rays filtered through the curtains,  and a beautiful day awaiting her outside the room. She felt pretty good today, and she stirred softly on the bed and inhaled deeply and frowned, this smell… _Oh!_ Now she remembered, she had dinner with Delphine and _woah_ , this was not her bed, nor her bedroom, she had spent the night with Delphine. Cosima gulped, and turned around to look at the other side of the bed, and her breath stuck in her throat. Delphine Cormier wearing loose shorts and a tank top, laying on her right side, allowing Cosima see more of her back. This was the first time she saw more skin, and those freckles were too tempting right now. Cosima squinted hard to focus on the shape of her body. Delphine’s beauty was astonishing. Cosima extended her hand slowly to reach her back, when Delphine stirred and turned around.

“Bonjour Cosima and joyeux anniversaire!” Delphine reach her face and kissed her. Cosima responded to her kiss excitedly. Waking up like this, beside _this_ woman, was magical. There were simply no words to describe how she felt. She could visualize this future for her, being by the side of her girl, waking up with these hot kisses every day. She could totally picture it.

“Hey, good morning!” Cosima said after Delphine broke their kiss.

“You fell asleep pretty quickly last night chérie, I had to help you get into bed.”

“Yeah I was so damn tired. Thanks.” Only then Cosima realized she had slept in Delphine’s t-shirt. She reddened at the thought of sleeping with her clothes on, still groggy but thinking about Delphine helping her getting dressed sent her heartbeat to the roof.

“I hope you are feeling better now.” Delphine traced her jaw line with her fingertips.

“Sure thing. I’m pretty good.” She smiled in response. At that her stomach growled.

“And you are hungry! What would you like to eat for breakfast?” Delphine propped on her elbow awaiting Cosima’s response. However Cosima was completely aroused by the glorious view of Delphine now that they were facing each other. Her long legs were bare, and she wanted to touch them so badly. Cosima reached for her hip and laid her hand there.

“I think I have a clear idea. I would like a French… puppy!” Cosima reached for Delphine and kissed her deeply, rolling on top. She moved to her neck, biting and nipping, Delphine’s moans increased her arousal. Her hand moved over from her hip to her thigh, and the contact with the hot skin sent electrical currents to her body. Delphine’s hands were on Cosima’s back, holding tightly to the white fabric of her shirt. Cosima kept going south, she stopped to lavish praise on her breasts, but the material of her tank top was bothering her, so Cosima straddled Delphine and slowly removed the borrowed t-shirt she was wearing.

Delphine gulped. She hesitated when Cosima undressed. Just a single moment of logic holding her back. Cosima could read her like a book. This was the moment to back out of this. They were going all the way and once they passed this threshold, there was no going back. Cosima was ready. Hell, she was _born_ ready to make love to this woman. However Delphine was careful, even scared. Cosima totally got her, and this was the first girl whom she was to sleep with, but the lust in her eyes was undeniable. She needed one push, so Cosima took Delphine’s hands and guided them to rest on her waist. “It’s okay.” Cosima reassured Delphine. Consent, that was what Delphine was waiting for, and Cosima now was a consenting adult. Cosima cradled Delphine’s face and kissed her softly, allowing Delphine to get used to her, to get comfortable with being with another girl, to be comfortable to be with _her_.

Cosima helped Delphine get rid of the bothersome fabrics over her skin, and when she got full view of her body she gasped at her beauty. Kissing Delphine’s collarbone, she traced the gentle outline of her breasts carefully, exploring her body and getting to know what she liked and disliked, getting to know the feeling of her body language. The way she arched her back to give her better access, encouraging her to continue exploring her breasts, Delphine was trusting Cosima to teach her. Not that she was an expert, but she knew what to do. By the end of this session Delphine was going to call her a sex goddess. Cosima giggled at her own idea, but if she could bind this woman to her, she was going to do everything in her power to do so.

She kept going down, licking her navel while holding her thighs down, caressing her making sure that whatever she did was to her liking, the guttural sounds coming from Delphine’s throat were enticing enough to keep her going. When she finally reached her glorious core and noticed how wet she was for her, she smiled. She went down to give a small taste, to recognize her flavor, to make her vibrate with pleasure. She licked her clit and Delphine said something in french. That was the most arousing thing in the world, hearing her woman speaking french while she made her shake with good feelings; she kept going, this time licking and biting her soft mound, her hands holding her thighgs in place, while Delphine anchored herself on the bed sheets until the first orgasm sent her to heaven and back.

Cosima licked her fingers slowly, prepping them for the ride of her life. Delphine’s body was coated thinly in sweat, the drops sliding on her bare skin. Cosima propped herself up on her arms to hold her weight and kissed Delphine again before sliding one hand on her thigh and introducing her fingers to the inside of her tight channel. Delphine gasped, Cosima kept up a relentless pace, kissing her everywhere, gently marking on her  alabaster skin. The pace was slow and steady at first, but Delphine begged for more so she went down between her legs and thrust faster with her hand, pumping her wet channel until her arm was starting to get numb, but she was not going to stop not until her woman came, and oh man, did she come.

__________

Cosima was pretty tired. Her body was wrapped loosely over Delphine, who embraced her and kissed her on the temple. They definitely were going to take a nap after that intensive lovemaking session. Delphine was still trying to catch her breath, amazed at the wonders of having sex with a girl. She had no idea how many times she climaxed, and this girl sleeping on her chest had made marvels with those hands of hers. She caressed her back, feeling how her lungs expanded when she breathed in and how they contracted when she exhaled. The beating of her heart was steady now.

She fit so perfectly between her arms. She always thought about it, but it was like she was made just for her. The sheer perfection of this moment between the two of them. Delphine was exhausted, but she didn’t want to sleep, she wanted to watch over her beautiful girl, to protect her and care for her, she was desperate to please her, she was a fast learner and she was more than ready to test the waters with her. But Cosima was very tired.

“Sleep well, ma petite chou.” She kissed her again on her forehead and let exhaustion claim her.

Delphine woke up first; it was now mid-morning, according to the clock ticking quietly on the wall. Her body ached in all the right places. Cosima was snuggled into her side, still asleep, so she sat up carefully to get out of bed without waking her up. She put on a robe and walked outside of the bedroom; she went to the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast. That girl was determined to keep her satiated, so before they did anything else she was going to feed her. She mixed some eggs with bacon and slathered jam on bread. She went to the fridge to take out some orange juice and poured it into two glasses. Once she was done with the preparations she set up the dishes on a tray and took it back to her bedroom. When she saw Cosima fast asleep on her bed, it made her smile. She was bringing breakfast to this wonderful person that had changed her completely, who had taught her amazing things she had never even dreamed of before. She put the tray onto a stand, and sat beside Cosima, waking her up softly by spreading tiny kisses on her neck.

“Time to wake up Cosima, breakfast is ready.” At the sound of her voice she stirred, she blinked a few times to adjust her sight.

“Hey, smells good.” Cosima sat up on the bed,and  Delphine handed her glasses which she put on immediately. She covered her nakedness with the sheets that she wrapped around her body and took the dish Delphine offered her. She took a bite and by her expressionm she liked the food. She ate with animosity, drinking her juice and eating her scrambled eggs with bacon.

Delphine raised her eyebrows.

“You were really hungry chérie. Next time, food first, _then_ crazy science.” Delphine finished her own food and put it on the tray.

“This is really good, I mean, the last time I ate homemade food was like christmas. Man, this is delicious.” And that was all the explanation Delphine needed; her poor baby ate whatever she could buy on the go. Her parents were busy to cook for her, and now more than ever she wanted to take good care of her.

“Merci, glad you like it. My cooking skills are not as good, but I can try.”

“Oh come on you’re a hella good cook. Me? You will starve to death.” She grinned.

“Okay, you go and take a shower while I clean this up. There are clean towels in the bathroom.” Delphine picked up the tray with all the dishes and went back to the kitchen. After a couple of minutes she heard the water running from the bathroom, which meant Cosima was in. She took the time to wash all the dishes and kitchenware. Once she was done with this chores she went back to clean her bed. But when she saw the messy sheets and the clothes scattered around the floor, her heart jumped.

When was the last time she brought someone to her home to spend time with her? _Never_. She had never allowed anyone be this close to her, usually she met at hotels or other places, never her sacred space. And seeing the bed all disastrously made up reminded her of how a few hours ago she had entangled her body with her student. The shower faucet stopped running, and minutes later Cosima came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body.

Delphine now had memorized those cute freckles on her abdomen, and she could see them in her mind even though she was covered. She noticed how her biceps flexed holding the towel and how her breasts rose when she inhaled. Delphine bit her lip. She wanted her badly. Cosima stared at Delphine, there was almost a plead in her eyes, begging for attention. Delphine’s throat got dry, she knew by Cosima’s body language what she wanted. No, what she needed. Relief. After all, it was her who took care of Delphine, and now she was craving the same attention. Cosima simply let the towel fall to the floor and waited. Delphine took two steps forward and she was claiming her mouth. Her hands sliding over her humid body and with a strength she had no clue she possessed lifted the tiny girl from the floor and took her to the bed. Delphine bit her collarbone, her hands over her breast pinching her nipples softly, then hard. Teasing and driving her insane. She let her instincts guide her, feeling Cosima’s reaction to what she did. Her mouth was all over her body, leaving tiny marks over her skin and when she reached to those freckles on her abs she liked so much she licked them and sucked them. She kept moving closer to where Cosima wanted her, she was so eager that once she was between her legs, with her thumb she touched her sensitive spot and traced circles on it.

“Holy shit!” was the reaction of Cosima. Which pleased Delphine very much, she loved to be in this position, have her tiny seductress at her mercy so she increased the friction of her fingers and with the other hand she held her hips steady, and when she was less expecting it she slid her fingers inside. The screams of pleasure were deafening and so wild, the movement of her hips matched the intensity of her thrusting, the climax building in her insides and when she came, Delphine could feel the contracting of her muscles squeezing her fingers and then the aftershocks of the orgasm. Delphine lay down beside her and held her while she recovered.

“Best birthday ever.” Cosima said, her breaths ragged and her body limped on the bed. Delphine smiled and kissed her, the thought of staying in bed all day with her now it didn’t seem so crazy. She would gladly stay like this forever.

They were kissing softly, tenderly, caressing each other, enjoying the feel of their bodies when a cellphone started to ring.

“Shit.” Cosima didn’t want to move but it was ringing like crazy, so she rolled on the bed to reach for her phone on the night stand. She checked the screen and cursed.

“Hey mom.” Delphine was paralyzed when she heard who it was.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Yup, still with her.”

“Sure, thanks. Bye.” She threw the phone on the bed and sighed.

“Everything okay?” Delphine got closer, providing her arms as a shield to protect her from the rest of the world. Cosima leaned against her.

“Yeah, she thinks I’m at Rachel’s place. She left me a present on the kitchen table. You know, I love my parents, they’re certainly good to me, but it’s just that sometimes I wish they weren’t that oblivious.”

“That is okay chérie, you just want their attention. You don’t have to feel like that anymore, know that you are not alone. You have me, Cosima.” Delphine dropped tiny kisses on her head and Cosima hugged her tight. Delphine wanted to protect her, she didn’t want her to be this sad again, she was going to become her everything, no matter how complex or difficult their current situation was, she had to make it for her, this girl needed her and that was all she could think of.

“Hey, I bought you something too.” Delphine got down of the bed and walked to her drawer and opened them, she took out a gift bag and handed it to Cosima.

“Hope you like it.”

Cosima didn’t wait too much and ripped the gift wrap to reveal a book. “Holy shit, this is amazing. _Endless Forms Most Beautiful_. Dude, this is awesome.” Cosima was like a 5 year old, smiling until her cheeks hurt.

“But why did you give me this book? I mean evo devo is totally an interesting topic, but I don’t know if it’s for me, you know?”

“I just saw it and thought about you. Call it a hunch.” Delphine smiled and shrugged. “I better get ready to drop you at home.”

_________

Cosima spent the rest of her day at home playing WoW with Scott. Her parents had given her gift cards as presents and left her a birthday cake on the fridge for later. She was pretty exhausted so she preferred to stay at home instead of spending the cards her parents gave her at the mall.

“God damn it Scott, heal me dude!” Cosima pressed the keyboard anxiously while she was trying to defeat the dungeon boss.

“I need help here, Cosima!” Scott said through his headphones. Cosima pressed a couple of keys frantically.

“Gotcha. Um, by the way, I’m gonna need a huge favor dude.”

“What is it?”

“If for some reason my mom asks you about me, could you please confirm that we were together.”

“Sure, but why?”

“No need to know dude, just tell her that.”

“And what do I get in return?”

“You little fuck, I’m leaving you with the Murlocks  and I’m never doing quests with you. Like, ever again.” Cosima moved her blood elf away from Scott.

“Woah, okay we have a deal. Geez dude, we’re cool.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Cosima smirked, now she could relax with Scott covering her tracks, nothing could go wrong now.

Absolutely nothing.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going down...

The next day at school was almost like every other day, except for the fact that Cosima and her number one teacher had done _it_. That was a huge deal for them, and Cosima couldn’t hide the fact that she was more than happy- no, she was _ecstatic_ that Delphine cared for her. It was like being in a dream forever.

Cosima went to her locker to pick up her books for the next period when she saw that Posh Spice was walking into the principal’s office. She had to wonder if this was good news for her. What if Posh was finally leaving, ending her exchange program? This could only get better. The bell rang and she picked her up things to go to her class.

Cosima had never been more focused in class. She took notes, delivered her flawless homework papers and paid attention like never before. It was like she was possessed by this happiness that she wanted to be awesome, particularly because Delphine expected her to do great in school and she didn’t want to disappoint her. Not her parents, but _her_. That was how big of an influence she was in her life. Delphine pushed her to be better, always looking out for her well-being. For that, she was utterly grateful.

When the time came for Biology Cosima was practically beaming. It was like having this fire inside of her she couldn’t contain.

As soon as she walked through the door to find her marvelous girl on the desk she smiled, and Delphine smiled broadly back at her. How badly she wanted to kiss her right there and there, to let everybody know that the woman in front of them was hers. She took her usual spot beside Scott. As soon as the class started she paid attention, but not to what she was explaining, she was looking at her, undressing her with her mind. Remembering each of the freckles she had in her back, how she moved on top of her while she caressed her back.

_Cut that out you idiot!_

She slapped herself mentally and tried to pay attention to the class, which was about the development of stem cells to treat lung diseases. Cosima quickly caught up with the technique Delphine was explaining to the class, and took notes immediately and stopped her daydreaming. After all, she still had to pass Biology. Later on, Delphine gave out worksheets corresponding to the topic in class to make a review of what she explained, Cosima joined with Scott to work. Delphine walked around to hand each group their worksheets, and when she got to Cosima’s group she gave Scott his worksheet and when she offered Cosima hers, Cosima slid her hand over Delphine’s to take her paper and smiled cheekily. The touch sent sparks throughout her body. There just wasn’t anything like being bold in front of everyone, and Cosima was sick in love with it. Delphine gave her a small, intoxicating smile and kept giving the worksheets to the rest of the class.

Cosima was done just before the bell rang. Everybody delivered their worksheets to Delphine, but Cosima held out a bit to make time to have one minute with Delphine, so she packed her things up very slowly. Once she saw that the classroom had emptied, she lifted her bag from the floor and walked towards the blonde. She handed her the classwork and smiled, “Did I say that you look pretty today?”

“Oui, you did chérie! Right before I dropped you off this morning.” Delphine took the worksheet and put it onto the desk. She put her hand gently over Cosima’s shoulder and leaned in.

“Now you behave,” she whispered.

“I will,” Cosima responded and smiled; Delphine pecked her on the lips quickly and moved on to continue arranging her classroom.

“Um, so see you later at the usual place?” Cosima raised her eyebrows in question. Delphine nodded, and with that, Cosima walked out of the classroom to her next class.

The day dragged on, but when break time finally arrived, Cosima ran quickly to the music classroom, their usual meeting spot, and she put on her on headphones while she waited for her. Dubstep was her way to chill while she waited, because no matter how many times she met with Delphine she always got nervous. Her body was practically vibrating with anticipation, and she simply couldn’t help it. That’s how deep she was into her. The bass resonated in her headphones, and her feet tapped in time on the floor with the rhythm of the music. She shuffled her playlist, unplugged her headphones, and connected her iPod to the speakers in the classroom when the door opened. It was her beautiful Delphine who had made it finally into the music classroom. She went to meet her girl like she deserved, swaying her hips to the rhythm of the music.

“♪It’s going down, I’m yelling _puppyyyyyyy_ you better move, you better dance♪” She moved in front of Delphine and rested her hands on her hips dancing to the rhythm of the music

“♫Let’s make a night you won’t remembeeeeeeer I’ll be the one you won’t forget♫” Cosima turned around to keep dancing while Delphine leaned on her neck and kissed her. Cosima raised her arm and rested her hand on Delphine’s nape while she kissed her neck, still moving side to side.

“Woooooah, wooooah, woooooooooah” [Cosima]

“It’s going down” [Delphine]

“Woooooah, wooooah, woooooooooah” [Cosima]

“It’s going down” [Delphine]

And so they both danced to _Timber_ , moving their bodies so closely together, their hands everywhere kissing and caressing each other. They were completely carefree, simply enjoying the warmth of their bodies moving together to the beat of the music.

“That was fun, wasn’t it Delphine?” Cosima was grinning like an idiot.

“Oui, very much Cosima. But I think it’s time I go down so you can properly yell _Timber_.” Delphine said mischievously. Cosima gulped, she knew exactly what was going to happen, Delphine was a woman of her word. In that moment Cosima thanked God for the soundproof walls of the music classroom, or else half of the school would be storming the place to see who had been murdered.

Several days passed and the student teacher affair went smoothly. Quick kisses in the morning, satisfying sex at night. It was the perfect relationship. Cosima went to classes, did her best and went back home, only to tell her parents that she was working on a project or preparing for a test with Scott and leave, returning late at night.

Today, the two lovebirds went for a walk in Twin Peaks, hoping that no one would recognize them. Besides, the place was full with tourists roaming around, so both took the time to enjoy the beautiful view of San Francisco and appreciate each other’s company. They took selfies and talked about food, traveling, and science, of course. The beautiful sunny day made it all more amazing, and they held hands as they walked to the top, drinking water to fight the heat and stay hydrated.

“So, have you thought about what do you want to study once you graduate from school?” Delphine had wanted to ask for a while, but now that the end of school year was just a couple of months away she needed to know.

“Not really... So far I have been applying to all the possible colleges because you know, I don’t want to freak out my mom, but I’m still thinking about what I wanna pursue.” Cosima sighed, she still had to think about it, but with her mother on her ass, she felt too pressured to make a decision.

“Okay, just keep it in mind chérie. You are too valuable to allow all your knowledge to go to waste.”

“God Delphine, don’t be like my mom, okay?” Cosima got a bit irritated. She hated to talk serious stuff, it reminded her too much of her folks.

“I didn’t mean to upset you Cosima, but this is something you shouldn’t disregard. This is your future we are talking about, yes?” Delphine gently pulled her close.

“I want you to be successful, think about what you would maybe like to do. You have so much aptitude for science though. I’m not implying at all that you should pursue your mother’s path, you choose your own way Cosima.” Delphine kissed the tip of her head.

“I know, I’ll think about it. You have my word.” Cosima leaned on her chest and Delphine just held her there.

“Well it’s getting late so we should be heading back.” Delphine kissed her again and started to walk back to the parking lot.

“Sure, and are we going to eat those truffles you promised me tonight?” Cosima clasped Delphine’s hand while they went back.

“I did make a promise to you, yes?” Delphine smiled at the tiny girl on her side.

“Yeah, you did!” Cosima grinned.

Right where they reached the parking lot Cosima found a familiar face.

“Hey dude, what’s up? I thought you would be long gone?” Cosima tilted her head curiously.

“Soon, I am showing the city to my sestra. Sarah is looking at jello before going up.”

“That’s cool Helena, hope you have a good time.” Cosima waved goodbye to her friend and ex-dealer and hopped into Delphine’s car.

“Who was that weird girl, chérie?” Delphine asked out of curiosity.

“She used to sell pot on Height Street, but now she’s leaving the city with her sister.” Cosima turned on the radio.

“Ah I see. She looked a bit weird to me.”

“Yeah she is, kind of, but she’s hella rad Delphine. No need to worry.” Cosima put her hand over Delphine’s who was focused on driving now.

“Okay, good to know.”

The drive back to Delphine’s home took a while, Cosima was anxiously awaiting to eat those truffles and of course have a bite of her favorite person in the world as well. As soon as Delphine parked in her garage Cosima got out of the car and went to the front door desperately like a 5 year old.

“You are not very patient Cosima.” Delphine came behind her with the keys to open the door.

“I’m just excited; I have never eaten truffles so I’m super curious about it.”

Delphine giggled at her impatience, she kissed her once more before opening the door. Cosima went straight to the kitchen and started opening the drawers looking for the truffles.

“Mon Dieu Cosima, just go to the living room and wait, s’il te plait.” Delphine stood there, arms crossed until the dreadlock girl accepted that she was not going to find the truffles so she headed to the couch and turned on the TV.

Delphine reached for the package stored inside the cupboard. Cosima couldn’t reach it so the truffles were safely inside. Delphine opened the fridge and took out the bottle of wine she had. Then she took all items and went to join Cosima in the couch.

She put everything carefully over the table in front of the TV and gave a glass to Cosima.

“Here you go, bon appetite.” Delphine passed the truffles to Cosima, who took eagerly a bite, she closed her eyes enjoying the delicious chocolate flavor.

“Mmm, this is good.” Cosima kept chewing trying to decipher all the flavors of the delicacy.

Delphine took a sip of her drink, watching how her sweet girl ate the truffles. Cosima smiled and took a glass to drink wine as well. They spent quite some time cuddling in the couch while watching TV. And then the kissing session began. Cosima teased Delphine enough to make her kiss her back. They kissed softly tasting the wine on their tongues. Delphine held Cosima’s face to kiss her deeper, while Cosima surrounded her waist, letting Delphine do as she liked. Cosima fisted Delphine’s tank top, her desire building up the more they kissed in the couch. Delphine kept kissing the smaller girl, suckling and biting softly her neck, Cosima removed her t-shirt to give more access to Delphine, which she gladly accepted by removing the strap of her bra and kissing her way into Cosima’s collarbone to her sternum. Cosima wanted to take control now so she pushed Delphine to turn her around but by the heat of the moment they forgot where they were so the last thing she heard was the thump Delphine did when she fell on the floor.

Cosima tried not to be rude but it was hard when Delphine was looking so damn adorable on the floor. She burst out with laughter so hard that much that she held her stomach.

“Very funny chérie.” Delphine rolled her eyes.

“You’re so cute.” Cosima stood up and gave her a hand to help her stand up.

“This is getting quite dangerous, so maybe we should go to the bedroom?” Delphine suggested.

“All right, but last one to make it to bed has to go and buy eskimo pies after sex.” Cosima grinned and started to run like hell.

Delphine simply laughed, that was her cheeky girl.

Cosima entangled her fingers in Delphine’s beautiful blonde curls; she could never have enough of that hair. It was simply magical. Both were exhausted and sweaty lying on the bed, their naked bodies wrapped around. Cosima rested on top of Delphine’s chest, while Delphine kissed her temple and caressed her back.

“Biology” Cosima blurted.

Delphine frowned in confusion.

“What?” Cosima turned around to look at her.

“I want to pursue a career in biology, and then, well, maybe Molecular Biology or even Evo Devo.” She shrugged.

“That’s wonderful, you are going to do just fine, you’ll see.” Delphine planted another kiss on her forehead.

“And have you thought about a university?” Delphine knew this was getting into sensitive territory.

Cosima remained silent for a couple of minutes. “Would it be bad if I said that I want to stay in San Fran?”

“Cosima don’t do it for me, I need you to make the best choice for you.” Cosima sighed, expecting her response to be along those lines.

“Here it’s not that bad, Delphine. I can study _and_ be with you.” She insisted.

“It’s not, but there are other places that could offer you so much more.”

“Let’s not think about it for now, okay?” Cosima had to drop the topic, she understood Delphine’s point of view, however just the thought of being apart made her feel uneasy.

“Okay.” Delphine hold her again, so close that Cosima could hear the steady beat of her heart.

She was drifting slowly into sleep when her cell phone started to ring. She turned to pick it up, “Yeah?” Cosima answered groggily.

“Hey Mom, no need to worry I told you I’m working on a project.”

“You called Scott? No no, he left early I’m staying at Rachel’s.”

“Sure, don’t worry Mom. Bye.” Cosima closed the call and went back to the safety of Delphine’s arms.

________

“Where is my daughter?” Mrs. Niehaus turned to look at the girl standing in her living room.

“I am so glad you asked, Mrs. Niehaus.” Rachel said with a smirk on her face.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes to the Rachel Duncan of my life, wherever you are know that I am looking for you bitch, stop hiding and tell me if you wannabe my lover.

Rachel Duncan was born in a wealthy family in Cambridge; she was the only child of Susan and Ethan Duncan, two renowned scientists who died tragically in a car accident 3 years ago. She remembered it like it was yesterday.

That Friday morning when the director from the boarding school came to her room to tell her the news. That day, every headline were about that terrible accident, an unfortunate event that claimed the lives of two important scientists, and how the driver had evaded a drunk teen in the middle of the street and crashed the car, which blew up in pieces leaving her with only ashes. The sad thing is that she didn’t shed a single tear during the funeral, she had to be strong in front of that people, everybody expected her to succeed her parents and so she had to build the woman they expected her to be.

Rachel walked to the window of her suit, the beautiful city of San Francisco at her feet, she pressed her palm against the cold window. This was her world, this is how she felt in control. Cosima Niehaus was going to help her find the responsible of her parents death, she knew it was no accident but the stupid police didn’t have anything to blame the punk. She remembered when she was looking for information about a company in California when she found an article about a young prodigy in San Francisco, she researched more about this girl and knew she could help her, so she flew in August to the States and enrolled in the same high school at her, and here she was.

Her phone started to ring, she walked towards her night table and picked her phone, it was the lawyer she contacted previously.

“Licenciado García, esperaba su llamada.” She walked back towards the window.

“Si, entiendo. No, no es necesario interponer la denuncia. Excelente. Muchas gracias.”

She closed the call and walked to the room next door. She knocked and waited.

“Daniel, I need you to go to Mr. García’s place. Go pick up the documents and deliver the payment.”

“Right away Rachel.” Daniel Rosen, her right hand was the one she always trusted to do her bidding.

Rachel returned to her room. She was tired. She took a long bath, took good care of her face, cleaning the last traces of makeup off. Then she applied her night creams and went to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a very interesting day.

The sun crept through the curtains; Rachel stirred in her bed, another day to rule the world. She bathed and applied her makeup carefully. Wearing her battle mask was as important as dressing for the occasion. She walked to her table where Daniel was already setting everything for her. She took her seat and read the morning news.

“I left the documentation on your desk Rachel.”

“Very well.” Rachel took a sip of her tea, Daniel excused himself and left.

After her breakfast and getting ready for school she picked up her laptop and briefcase and went to the elevator, when the doors opened she pushed PB and waited, she put her earbuds in and pressed play in her iPod, god forbid the world knew that Rachel Duncan loved R&B, there was not a single morning that started without R. Kelly. The lift stopped a couple of floors down and two girls entered, Rachel moved to the side to avoid touching that weirdo with the smelly green jacket, to her side was a brunette wearing all black leather who seemed pretty comfortable with the pale blonde girl with the stinky jacket. Finally they reached the lobby and Rachel walked towards the main entrance, she removed her earbuds and put them in her bag.

“Sestra, wait let’s eat first.”

“Forget it meathead, we’re going to be late, yeah?” That caught the attention of Rachel, the accent. But she didn’t have time for that, she kept walking towards her car.

“Everything fine? Daniel peeked through the rearview mirror.

“Yes, turn on the radio.” Daniel pressed on and drove to school.

She started to read the documents when…

_Yo I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want_

_So tell me what you want, what you really really want_

_I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want_

_So tell me what you want, what you really really want_

_I wanna [huh], I wanna [huh], I wanna [huh], I wanna [huh]_

_I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ah_

“Spice Girls? Daniel could you change the station please.” Daniel pressed a button and in an instant changed the radio station.

“Posh Spice.” Rachel remembered that Cosima once called her that when she was arguing with Ms. Fitzsimmons when she paired them together. She could imagine that’s how she called her in her mind. That girl was really something.

When Daniel dropped her off at school, she went to her locker and noticed the girl with the red jacket; there she was. It was incredible how she couldn’t stop smiling, she was radiant with happiness. _Poor thing_ , Rachel thought, but this had to be done or else she wouldn’t cooperate. Her lawyers had already redacted the document she would offer her tonight at her home. If she was as clever she seemed to be, she would sign it. The bell rang and all the students started to disperse. Cosima raised her sight and saw her for an instant, her eyes were wary, but she kept smiling. _So sassy_ , Rachel closed her locker and walked to her class.

At lunch break she was heading to the library when with the corner of her eye caught Ms. Cormier. The biology teacher who was having an illicit affair with Cosima, her student. She followed her and saw when she entered the music classroom. Rachel stopped for a second. This didn’t make any sense at all, unless… Rachel raised her eyebrows, she had a pretty good idea what was going on inside that room, which seemed to be soundproof. She didn’t want to ruined the surprise, so she let them be for now, however she was going to have a serious conversation with Aldous. The principal and of course, an old friend of her parents. He was going to do as she said. So instead she turned around and went to the principal’s office.

She announced herself with the secretary and she let them in a couple of minutes later.

“Rachel, what a surprise.”

“Hello, Aldous. I think it’s time to repay me the many favors you owe me.” Rachel crossed her legs and stared at the older man.

“What do you need now Rachel.” Aldous asked focusing her attention on the young.

Rachel gave him a quick smile, “Let’s talk about Delphine Cormier.”

“Daniel, let’s go to the Niehaus household.” Rachel sat again back in the vehicle. She opened her laptop and started to write. So much to do, so many research projects she was funding, so much people trying to fool her. Those were the worsts, thinking that she was just a stupid 18 year old girl. They had no idea who she was. Her phone rang, and she pressed to answer the call.

“Nǐ hǎo, Wén xiānshēng.”Rachel pressed quickly the keyboards on her laptop.

“Shì de, wǒ fēicháng gǎnxiè nǐ.” She pressed enter and sent the file.

“Wǒ huì kǎolǜ de” She closed the call. She never stopped working, no wonder she was so busy, she never got out, she didn’t have any friends, she was so lonely. That’s why she felt so safe behind the big glass windows. No one could hurt her behind them, she could see the whole world through them and she was safe.

The car stopped at the sidewalk in front of Cosima’s house. Daniel opened the door for her and she got out. The wind was a bit chilly against her skin, however she didn’t let her expression show it. She knocked and gave a smile to Mrs. Niehaus.

“Good evening Rachel, thank you for coming.” Mrs. Niehaus invited her in and escorted her to take a seat. Rachel gracefully sat, taking out her folder with the documents she reviewed early in the day.

“Mr. and Mrs. Niehaus, don’t lose your composure, your daughter is not that volatile but still she will be mad. I told you I can help you and I will.” Rachel smiled; she knew she had their trust so it was going to be much easy to manage the whole situation.

Almost an hour later the door finally opened, Cosima entered and was going straight to the stairs when she froze, she saw that her parents and Rachel were seated in the living room.

“What the…? Mom?” Cosima tilted her head in puzzlement.

“Sit down Cosima.” Her mother ordered in a stern voice. Cosima frowned but still obeyed.

“All right, what’s up?.” Cosima raised her eyebrows questioningly.

“What were you thinking Cosima!?” Her mother was between screaming and crying.

“Um, look if this is about the weed I can totes explain.” Cosima moved her hands in unison, apologetically.

“Weed?” Mrs. Niehaus expression was of surprise.

“Well honey, what did you expect?, she is the daughter of a botanist.” Mr. Niehaus was about to laugh but the look of her wife stopped him right on the spot.

“Woah, this is not about the weed then what-“

“Your teacher! How could you do this Cosima, you are dating _your_ teacher!!!” Her mother raised her voice now. Cosima froze.

“What? Mom I don’t know-“

“STOP LYING!” Her mother now was screaming, tears running on her cheeks.

“Are you mad? You are just a kid. That perverted woman, how dare she?”

“NO mom I’m not a fucking kid anymore, I’m 18, an adult for fuck’s sake!.” Cosima stood up, her fist clenched, Rachel was right, she was mad.

“Allow me.” Rachel took out the papers she was saving on her folder and offered them to Cosima. The girl took the document and started to read.

“That is a copy of the bill that prohibits any type of student-teacher relationship, even if the student is 18.” Rachel explained. She could see how the pink of Cosima’s cheeks vanished.

“So it doesn’t matter that you are an adult, Delphine Cormier can be arrested and sent to prison because she works at the school where you go as well, once your parents proceed with the legal requirements her career will be over.”

Cosima looked at Rachel with so much hatred, “YOU! You did this!” Cosima accused, her rage could be felt through her body language, so tense and her facial expression was barely containing the tears.

“No, you did.” Rachel simply answered, and added “I’m not the one sleeping with the Biology teacher.” She smiled.

“Oh god Cosima, what the hell?” Her mother was a pool of tears now.

Cosima’s lip quivered, her eyes were getting extremely watery now “Mom, please.” Her voice almost a whisper.

“You are not going back to school until we fix this with that woman. She will hear me out!”

“WHAT?” NO!” Cosima was desperate now, she didn’t know what to do she was trapped. “No mom, I mean you can’t prove anything.”

“Oh yes we can, we got a hold of her cellphone and let me tell you those text messages go back way before your birthday Cosima.” Rachel had her, victory.

“Dad?” Cosima was appealing to her last chance.

“Sorry kiddo but this is very wrong it’s a felony, we should have been more aware and I’m sorry we weren’t there for you, but now we are and we’re going to protect you.” Mr. Niehaus was very clear, it was over.

“Shit, are you kidding me? No, I love her and she loves me! You won’t separate us, hell no.” Cosima ran out of the house, her mother was going to go after her but Rachel stopped her in her tracks.

“Let her go Mrs. Niehaus. She will be back, I promise you. Everything is ready. There will be no other place for her to go, she has no option than to come back. Call me when she does. Rachel took her things and walked to the door “Oh, and don’t do anything yet, I promise that I’m going to solve this as smooth as possible, we don’t want to ruin your daughter’s excellent college opportunities, yes?” With that she opened the door and went back to her car. The ride back to the hotel was long so she took the chance to call Aldous and thank him for his wonderful intervention.

“Well done Aldous. I have to say that you surpassed my expectations.” Rachel was reviewing again her legal documentation, her lawyers got tons of money for the work they did, so this better was perfect.

“Yes, of course. And remember not a single word or the one who is going to have the media attention is you.” She cut the call and kept working.

Now Rachel just wanted to go to her room, have a relaxing bath and sleep tight. This kind of deals left her drained, once she had what she wanted she was flying back to London and then Cambridge to find that punk and make him pay, she was going to have so much fun, she couldn’t wait.

Finally Daniel dropped her at the main entrance of her hotel, she walked to the lift and waited for one to take her to her suit. Out of nowhere someone bumped her, her papers fell to the floor.

“I’m sorry.” A thick accent, Russian maybe and a god awful smell. “What on earth?” Rachel turned to face the blonde with the green jacket. “God damn it you filthy animal watch your step!” Rachel spatted, she knelt on the floor to pick up her things fast. The lift arrived and before she got in someone else intervened.

“Oi!” The girl in black leather pushed her inside the lift and held her against the elevator’s mirror. Her grip strong on her silk shirt.

“Don’t you dare to speak to my sister like that again, you bitch!” Her face was inches from Rachel’s, her breath smelled of cherry bubblegum. Rachel tried to hide the fear in her eyes, but her body was not cooperating too much. Dark eyeliner framed the brunette’s hazel eyes, her blonde streaks on her hair gave her a lioness vibe, her right side of her scalp was braided while the rest of her long mane was loose.

“No one lays hands on me” Rachel hissed, yet she could barely contain the fear, her control completely gone. Her heart racing and her breath was ragged.

“Hey, release her!” Daniel was here.

That brought back her confidence and she smiled to the leather girl covered in black.

“Come on.” Daniel grabbed leather girl by the arm to pull her out, her eyes never leaving Rachel’s, it was like she was drilling holes into her very soul, but then green jacket jumped on Daniel, “Let sestra alone!”

“Shit, Helena no!” Helena, the blonde psycho released Daniel.

“Just disappear already you lowlifes!” Rachel commanded, but what she got in response was not a snarky comment.

_SLAP_

“I told you bitch, don’t insult my sister!” And the lioness walked away with the blonde before the security took them out.

When Rachel got to her room she was furious, no one ever had lifted a finger against her, and this was outrageous, she felt powerless, completely humiliated. She walked to the window but instead of touching the glass she touched her left cheek, where she still felt the burn of the hit which was going to probably leave a bruise tomorrow morning. _Thank god for concealer_ she thought, but then a sudden memory assaulted her.

_You know what? One day love will slap you in the face when you least expect it. And then one day you will be like surprise bitch you thought you’ve seen the last of me._

“Ridiculous.” Rachel said out loud dismissing it, she was intrigued by the lowlife grifter, yes, but no one dared to speak to her like that, much less to touch her, _impossible,_ she repeated in her mind however deep in her cold heart she could feel the ice starting to melt.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of the hardest for me to write, trust me.
> 
> "Love that once hung on the wall  
> Used to mean something, but now it means nothing"  
> Let Me Go - Avril Lavigne

Cosima ran as hard and as far away as she could, her lungs were burning, she was not going to give up on her. She kept running, but to where? She wanted to call Delphine but her phone was probably in the hands of a lawyer, still she needed to see her, to see that she was all right so she took her phone and dialed. She waited and waited until voice mail came.

“Shit”

“C’est Delphine, laissez votre message après le bip”

“Hey Delphine this is Cosima, please call me.” She closed the call and kept walking without an idea where to go. She just prayed that Delphine called as soon as possible. She was scared for her more than anything, the documents Rachel handed her where the real deal, Delphine could spend her days in jail because of her, and how could things go south so fast? She had no clue how this happened but everything blew up in her face and now it was too fucking late to go back.

Rain started to pour out of nowhere, the moon was clearly hidden behind the clouds so it was pretty dark now, Cosima hugged herself to keep warm, but now the rain was falling harder, the water soaking her wet. Cosima went to the park instead of going back home, she sat under a huge tree to seek shelter and stared at her phone screen wishing that Delphine called her back. 45 minutes have gone by and Delphine did not call, Cosima tried again.

“Delphine please call me I need you.”  She closed the phone and waited, the cold was now seeping through her bones but she was not going back home. She could wait for her, or if she had money she could grab a cab and go to her place but she was broke.

She kept waiting, and the call never came, she was too tired and exhausted so her body simply surrendered and she fell asleep right under that tree shivering under the rain.

Morning came by, Cosima woke up laying on the wet soil, she felt terribly ill, and her body ached, she sit down properly and checked her phone, she saw that she had a missed call and a voice message, she quickly pressed the unlock key and waited to hear Delphine’s voice.

“Cosima please come back home honey, we are waiting for you.”

“Shit!” It was her mom, not Delphine.

“Where the fuck are you Delphine?.” She checked her watch and saw that it was already past 8 am. _The school_ , she thought. She stood up and started to run towards school, she was several blocks away but she could make it sooner rather than later. She was a complete mess, hungry, all muddy and her clothes were all wet, still she kept going to school, she had to find her. After a while she finally made it to the parking lot, she started to look for her car but it was nowhere to be seen.

“Come on! Fuck.” She was getting frustrated, she checked her watch again, it was third period of class, Delphine probably had a class right at this moment. Cosima stormed the school building, she gave a damn about people staring at her pathetic look at the moment, she kept heading to Biology classroom and when she reached the place she opened the door to find a sub inside.

“Where is Ms. Cormier?” She asked the substitute teacher who shrugged. She sighed, this was getting ridiculous, where the hell was she?

“Cosima? Are you okay?” Jennifer saw the girl standing on the hall, looking so lost.

“Ms. Fitz do you know where is Delphine er Ms. Cormier?”

“No sorry, I think she might be indisposed though. Haven’t seen her all day”

“All right, thanks.” Cosima turned around and walked towards the exit. Ms. Fitzsimmons tried to stop the young girl but Cosima hurried up to avoid talking more than necessary. She was about to exit the school building when Aldous Leekie blocked her exit.

“Cosima I know this might be confusing but I need you to go back home.” Aldous tried to use a conciliatory tone.

“Where is she?” Cosima growled.

“Don’t worry about that Cosima, we just want to help.” Aldous raised his hands to try to ease Cosima.

“Go to hell.” Cosima bolted through the doors and ran away from school, she needed to rethink, there was a slight chance that Delphine was not home, what if she was in custody? She had to think clearly, she moved as far away as possible from her neighborhood to look for a place to feel at ease.

_________

Delphine couldn’t sleep she kept replaying the voice mail over and over again.

“Delphine please call me I need you.”

 _Merde_ , she needed her, Cosima needed her right now but she couldn’t go, she was in deep trouble and the recommendation was to keep distance to avoid creating more damage. She drank the whole glass of wine. And then, she recalled her conversation with Aldous yesterday.

“Delphine, it has come to my attention a situation regarding one of our students.”

She didn’t’ say anything, but she suspected what he was talking about.

“Cosima Niehaus, your student. According to the information I have you two have been dating?” Aldous crossed his hands over the desk and leaned in.

“I am not judging Delphine, after all you have a wide range of preference as I can attest.” He smirked at his terrible comment.

Still she remained silent.

“Look, the problem is that this is a felony here, even when she is an adult it’s a crime Delphine, and you can go to jail. I need you to cooperate or else you will be spending some time behind bars.”

“Do you have proof?” Delphine dared to ask.

“No need, once the parents make the complaint you and that girl will be in the eye of the public Delphine and then your prominent career will be over and let’s not talk about that girl’s future. I just want to make sure that we can solve this without involving the girl in a very traumatic and difficult process.”

Delphine wanted over all things to protect her, she had to be sensible and do this for her. “What do you want me to do?.”

“Don’t contact her at all and if she does don’t reach for her. Tomorrow morning someone will explain you further, and don’t come back to school.”

She sighed and closed her eyes for a minute to try to ease the headache she was having at the moment. Her doorbell rang and she immediately thought about her.

“Cosima!” She went to the front door but when she opened she found another young girl, Rachel Duncan.

“Good morning Ms. Cormier, may I come in.” Rachel waited her response.

Delphine move to the side and let her in.

“I can help both of you Ms. Cormier but in order to do so we have to reach an agreement, yes?” Rachel took a seat and put her bag over the table, she took out carefully a series of folders and documents.

“You are going to help me?” Delphine couldn’t believe that this girl could do anything for her.

“I know it doesn’t look like I am fit to do this, but you can trust I have plenty of influences to turn this situation in any direction. It depends on you really Ms. Cormier.” Rachel declared.

“Fine, I’m listening.”

“Cosima’s parents are holding the complaint until I can provide a satisfactory deal to both parties; these are legal documentation that guarantees your safety Ms. Cormier. You can see that I have done my research.” Rachel pushed the paper so Delphine could take a look at it. Delphine read the papers and she knew she could lose it all because of this. Delphine read carefully the document. Labeled forever as a molester, _mon Dieu_ , she understood this was pretty bad.

“You and I know Cosima is stubborn, she will come to you soon but whatever happens you have to push her away it’s the only way her parents are going to keep this quiet and you will be safe.”

“How?” Delphine was lost, there was no way that she could push her away.

“I don’t know Ms. Cormier, I think you know her pretty well. This is for her well-being, she is young and she will get over it. But you Ms. Cormier, your whole future can go to hell in a second. Yet, I offer you a way out. I will provide you a scholarship to continue your studies in immunology, as I told you when we spoke months ago, there’s a place where you could fit perfectly, the Dyad Institute. Work with us and this would be nothing than a small bump on the road.” Rachel smiled, however the smile did not reach her eyes. She stood up.

“Think about it, but don’t take too long. I will take myself out, thank you.” And so she walked away.

Delphine buried her face in her hands, she was so overwhelmed, the legal consequences were bad, Rachel Duncan was right, her career was going to be over, yet the girl she loved so much would be left alone. Still, she also knew that if this escalated Cosima would be out of the anonymity and her bright future damaged.

She knew exactly what she had to do to protect her. She had to break her heart.

_______

Cosima had nowhere else to go instead she returned to her home. When she opened the door her mother ran to her and hugged her.

“Cosima, you had me worried all night.” Her mother said with trembling voice.

“I love her mom, I won’t allow you to interfere with my life. I’m not staying long.” Cosima went up the flight of stairs and got inside her room, she closed the door and removed the dirty clothes, she got into the shower and stood under the hot spray several minutes trying to let the hot water relaxed her tense muscles. Finally, when she got out, she dried and put some comfy clothes, she sat on the bed, the feelings inside of her were overwhelming and she was tired, she fell asleep in no time.

 

Hours later she woke up, she checked the clock, it was night already. She had to find Delphine, maybe she was under the threat to put her in jail and that’s why she hasn’t come to get her and get as far away as they could from this place. She quickly started to pack a bag; she was going to leave her parents if this is what it took. A knock on the door startled her, “I don’t have anything else to talk, I am leaving.” She kept packing her bag.

“What do you plan to do? Run away and then what?” It was Rachel.

“God damn it, when are you going to disappear from my life!?” Cosima tried to focus on the task at hand.

“You parents are going to the authorities if you leave Cosima, they will arrest Delphine no matter in which part of the state you are. They will find you.” At that, Cosima turned around to face Rachel.

“What do you want to leave us alone?”

“The punk.” Rachel said straight, no hesitation in her voice.

“And you will back off?” Rachel nodded in response. Cosima went to her desk drawer and took out a flash drive, showing it to Rachel.

“This is all I could find about the drunk punk, I researched about it a long time ago. I only know that it was a girl, probably around our age who is part of the foster care system since there is no current information about her whereabouts.” Rachel arched her eyebrow clearly not expecting this.

“Now make sure to leave Delphine out of this, or else this goes with me.”

“Very well.” Rachel awaited but in response she got

“Sign it.” Rachel smiled; clever girl indeed, Rachel was a girl who could play with words very well, all the lies between the truths but she couldn’t lie when she had to sign her name on a piece of paper. So she did.

“Done.” Rachel extended her hand to receive the flash drive.

“Delphine is safe do you understand?” Rachel nodded. Cosima quickly zipped her bag and walked downstairs.

“Cosima, please don’t do this. Your teacher? Really?” Her mom begged.

“I won’t apologize for my heart.” And she left.

Minutes later Rachel came to join Mrs. Niehaus on the living room. “Don’t worry Mrs. Niehaus your daughter will be back, in pieces if I might say. Everything is going to be fine; however she will need to heal somewhere else.”

“Yes, we have a place in Minnesota, she can go there.” Mr. Niehaus said.

“Arrange it then, the sooner the better.” At that her cellphone rang. “Yes? Good. I will prepare our departure then.” She put her phone away.

“And don’t worry about Ms. Cormier. I wish you all the best.” Rachel smiled and shook Mrs. Niehaus hand.

“Thank you Rachel for being such a good friend.”

“Friend?” Rachel smiled again not because it was true, simply because it was ironic.

_________

Delphine had taken her decision, she called Rachel and accepted her offer to continue her studies and work for The Dyad Institute; Cosima didn’t demand this, she couldn’t offer her anything, that girl deserved a college education which she couldn’t provide. Delphine went to her room and started to pack her things, this was the best outcome for her, no one would ever know how she tainted her by doing the unforgivable. She was going to be safe, now they needed to talk. She took her phone and dialed.

“Delphine?” Cosima’s voice. How she loved that voice.

“Oui Cosima, we need to talk.”

“Yeah of course, um, I left my home.”

“Where are you?” that girl was doing crazy things again, and she was afraid for her.

“I’m close to the park.”

“Stay there I’ll go pick you up.” She closed the call and went for her car keys. She was worried but it was vital that she remained strong to do what she had to do. That was going to be the only thing that could for her.

She drove as fast as she could and when she saw the tiny girl waiting at the park she honk and opened the passenger seat, Cosima hopped in and Delphine returned back home, it was best if they spoke privately.

Delphine let her in and took a deep breath, this was going to rip her soul but it was for her good.

“Thank god you called Delphine, look everything is going to be fine, and no one is going to put you in jail or whatever.” She walked towards Delphine and hugged her. The feeling of her body embracing her was the most marvelous feeling in the whole world, but she pushed her carefully away.

“Cosima wait, we need to talk. I need you to listen to me, s’il te plait.” Delphine sat in the couch and inviting Cosima to sit as well.

“Delphine we can be together man, it’s okay.” Cosima was so excited, that huge grin on her face, those cute fangs of hers showed how happy she was.

“No Cosima, we can’t.” She was trying to remain calm, holding Cosima’s hands to gather strength.

Cosima frowned, “what? why?”

“This needs to stop, this is wrong.”

“Delphine, what are you saying? Look, I already talked with Posh Spice, she will back off.”

“That is not what I mean Cosima.”

“Then what? What is it Delphine for fuck’s sake!” Cosima’s voice was louder, desperate, her voice uncertain.

“I want you to go back home.” At that Cosima removed her hands from Delphine’s and stood up.

“Why? What are you saying Delphine?”

Delphine stood up as well and walked towards Cosima, “It’s over Cosima. We are done.” Cosima shook her head, the dreads moving from side to side.

“Delphine I told you we are going to be okay.” She was in denial; she couldn’t accept what she was hearing.

“Let it go Cosima, it’s better this way”

“NO! Why are you saying this?” Cosima furrowed her brow, not understanding.

“Because you are just a girl, what can you know about love Cosima? You are young, naïve; this will get us nowhere we can’t keep-”

“I love you.” Cosima cut in. Delphine remained silent for a minute.

“But I don’t.” Delphine said with a straight face, looking into her hazel eyes.

“You’re lying.” Cosima removed with her knuckles the tears strolling down her face.

“I’m not, this had to end sooner rather than later, I mean you’re just a kid, I am about to finish my master’s Cosima, I can’t fulfill my dreams with a kid by my side.” There it was, the hurt in her eyes, the pain. So she had to keep going “What did you expect? It was fun while it lasted, but let’s be real Cosima, it wasn’t going to work.”

Cosima stepped forward and kissed her with all her might, pouring all her feels in one kiss, but Delphine pushed her away. “Don’t.” Delphine said firmly.

Cosima gulped before speaking again “Fun, huh?” Her lip trembled, she was on the verge of breaking in front of Delphine, but Cosima had to keep at least the little pride she had left. “I am so stupid.”

“Cosima just let me get you home.” Delphine tried to reach for her but she stepped away.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” She lifted her bag and walked away throwing the door with all the anger and hurt she carried inside.

Delphine stood in her living room, trembling, the taste of poison remained inside her mouth, she had gone for the kill. Right through the heart.

_I didn’t want to fall for you, I wasn’t supposed to. But I have._

Delphine crumbled on the floor and only then she allowed herself to cry.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't apologize, so enjoy the trip instead. I cried enough for all of you already.

Cosima wept all the way to nowhere. She had no idea where to go. Her heart was smashed into pieces, and she had no clue whatsoever how to deal with this. She didn’t have any friends to lean on.

She was all alone again.

She kept walking under the starry night, her phone kept ringing but she ignored it until the battery died out. Cosima didn’t want to go home. She could always crash at Scott’s, but then he would ask too many questions that she didn’t intend to answer, so she took a bus that left her somewhere near Golden Gate park. She was in need of something to allow her to space out. She ambled down to Haight Street looking for Mark, the dude Helena recommended.

“Hey man, you’re Helena’s buddy, am I right?” Cosima asked the pale guy.

“Yeah, you want some MJ, dope, hop? I got whatever you need.” The baby-blue eyed guy showed her his merch.

“Sure dude, just some pot.” She paid and put the bag in her pocket.

“You know dude, you don’t look fine to me and since you’re a friend of Helena’s, I think I can give you this.” The dude handed her a pill. “I promise you the trip of your life, man.”

“What is it?” Cosima looked at the pill curiously.

“Blotter, hella trip dude.”

“Okay man, thanks.” Cosima stayed in the park smoking weed for a while but it was getting late now, already 9:30 pm, and she needed to find a place to stay... _Helena_ , yeah she could count on her. “Dude!" Cosima walked to where Mark was hanging with some hippies. “Do you know where I can find Helena?”

“Not exactly, but I can try to call her if she still has her cellphone with her.”

“Please, I need to find her.”

Mark dialed the number and Cosima waited impatiently. “Hey Helena, it’s Mark   I have a dreadlocked girl with glasses looking for you here?  Yeah. Right.”

Mark wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to Cosima. “There you go man, have fun.”

“Thanks.” Cosima took a cab and went to the hotel where Helena was staying.

______

She was already on her third bottle of wine. Delphine’s eyes were an angry red from so much crying, and was drunk as fuck. Cosima left furious, and with reason. Delphine had just said that what they had meant nothing to her, that it was just a game. And how those words tasted like a dry poison in her mouth, yet, the poor girl was going to suffer if things got any worse. The media attention would be devastating, and knowing the bright future Cosima had ahead of her, she didn’t want to taint that with her wrongful actions.

Delphine looked at the pictures she had of them in her phone, scrolling through the screen. She couldn't help but smile, a small sob leaking out with her chuckle. The beautiful moments they spent together were the most lovely. So much energy in such a tiny body, and so much to give. Cosima Niehaus was the best and the worst thing that could have ever happened to her. But she had to erase her from her life, it was an essential step for what she had to do in order to keep her safe. So she selected the folder and tapped delete sadly.

Delphine stumbled down the hall to reach her bedroom. Her head was killing her but the emptiness she felt inside was the worst. It was killing her not knowing where her geek, her lovely dreadlock girl was. The uneasiness in her heart was a torture, a pain that was going to haunt her forever. The way those hazel eyes stared back at her, the way her voice cracked, the disbelief…

That girl had believed in them, in what they had, but Delphine couldn't risk it. She had nothing. She couldn’t give what Cosima truly deserved, a future, a beautiful life and love. Delphine barely had money to pay for her own things how was she going to manage to give Cosima the education she needed to succeed. She knew Cosima would have gone to heaven and hell for them, that she would have sacrificed her career to stay with her but Delphine was not going to allow that. Cosima was so innocent, she had so much more to live, and a lot more to learn.

Her cell phone started to ring, and she fumbled it several times before finally answering.

“Alló?" Delphine was about to fall over, so she sat at the edge of her bed instead.

“Rachel?" Delphine listened what the girl on the other side of the line had to say.

“Really? My transfer papers are ready? But that's far too quick.” She heard a small chuckle.

 _I just sold my soul to the devil_ , Delphine thought.

“Yes, I’ll go to you tomorrow. I’ll start packing as soon as I can. Merci.”

Rachel had arranged her transfer from UCSF to the University of Cambridge, all expenses paid by The Dyad Institute. Even her PhD that she wanted to pursue after she finished the master’s program was covered. Besides, she was going to be closer to home, she reminded herself. She could be close to her maman after she had spent all these years in the US. As she had learned, The Dyad Institute was one, if not the only corporation making improvements in different areas of science, particularly cloning tissues for transplants. The technology they had was top notch and they had all the resources in the world. Delphine was sure that this company was only going to grow bigger, and now she was tied to them. Rachel Duncan was the CEO at the tender age of 18. It was truly incredible the preparation and organization that that girl had. She was as clever as Cosima but less innocent. That girl had built a wall around her, and it was hard to see through her and to read her and that was scary as hell. It was like she was living inside a crystal box and people just could stare in awe at her power.

Delphine let her body flop on her bed, but when she rolled on her side she smelled her, the pillow had traces of her shampoo, and her perfume was still in her side of her bed. _Dieu, she had a side on her bed_ , _the left side was hers_. More tears started to run down her face, she thought she didn’t have any more in her to cry, but she was mistaken. Her throat was sore but there was nothing she could do from stop sobbing, her soul was in pieces, her other half was gone. Delphine hugged Cosima’s pillow and cried while holding it tightly.

______

Once she reached the hotel she went straight to the lift and pressed for the third floor. The lift doors opened and she looked for room 324.

She knocked the door and waited for a response, minutes later the door opened revealing the pale blonde.

“Hello. I’m so glad you are here. Sestra look!” Helena allowed Cosima in the room, there was another girl with Helena. She was a brunette but she was identical to the blonde, less pale though.

“Hey I’m Cosima.” She waved at the brunette.

“I’m Sarah.” A British accent, instead of Ukrainian, and now Cosima was confused.

“Yes Cosima, this is my twin sestra, we grew apart in different orphanages, but now we are back together and we are returning to London this weekend so I’m happy you came. This is going to be our farewell party.”

“Farewell, huh? Sounds good to me.” Cosima tried to smile but it was so damn hard.

“Yeah yeah, just make sure to stay inside the room and if you two are going to get high just be careful to deactivate the smoke alarm, yeah? We want to avoid more shite after what happened with that posh bitch Helena.”

Sarah got out of the room and Helena invited Cosima to sit at the couch.

“Thanks for inviting me man, I didn’t know where to stay.” Cosima sat and plugged her phone into the wall to charge it. Cosima and Helena talked about so much that the time flew by. However, the only thing that kept replaying in her mind was Delphine saying how she hadn't loved her, how she was simply a kid ruining Delphine’s dreams. Both lit a joint and relaxed, but Cosima couldn’t keep her cool. She was hurting and this was not the plan, she needed to be happier or she was going to harsh Helena's mellow; she had to let the memories of Delphine go. She had been duped like a fool. The whole world was right, and Cosima fell into the hands of a predator? _No._ That woman had never taken advantage of her, she was so assertive that it was hard to blame her all alone. Cosima was the one who had being stupid for falling in love.

“Bitch!” Cosima spat. She was so angry and so hurt, she took out the paper acid pill from her pocket.

“Welcome to the trip, man” And she ingested the pill after letting it melt on her tongue for a few seconds.

And tripping she was. The colors were beautiful, how they floated around, and then Delphine came to her, her pretty puppy face was glowing, so gold, the curls were like a cocker spaniel.

“A cocker spaniel broke my heart.” She said out loud for a minute before laughing her ass off. It was the first time she tried LSD, and she got in pretty deep when talking to Helena. Helena was talking some crazy religious shit that Cosima didn’t quite understood but it was still fun seeing all the magical colors move around them. However when Helena fell asleep, she was pretty bored and sleep wouldn’t come to her so she took her phone and called Delphine. Of course she didn’t answer. It was almost midnight.

“Duuuuude your voice is so beautiful, shit Delphine there are so many puppies here! You should come and see it.” She started to laugh and dropped her phone. “Hey come here boy, don’t run.” Cosima stood up, though her muscles felt a bit loose, probably an effect of the drug, she was following the running dog who walked through the door.

“Woah, doggie come back here man.” Cosima went after it, she opened the door and noticed that the pup was running to the elevator so she followed.

“Oh, you want me to take you to a walk boy? Yeah good boy.”

The lift doors open and “HOLY WATERSHED IT’S POSH SPICE!" Cosima was really excited. She never _really_ liked Posh Spice, but now all the colors surrounding her made Rachel less terrifying and more friendly. Cosima entered the lift with her hallucination.

“Cosima? What are you-”

“♪Do you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever friendship never ends♪” Cosima was now dancing around Rachel. The face of Rachel was one of utter horror.

“So, you’re high.” Rachel took Cosima’s face between her fingers and examined her dilated pupils.

“Damn Ray Ray, don’t get so hasty if you wanna kiss me man.” Cosima was laughing again. The lift resumed going up to the upper floors. Rachel could not leave the highly drugged Cosima, she had no idea where she was staying so she took her to her suite.

“Damn Posh you don’t waste time, we haven’t even kissed properly and you’re taking me to bed.” Cosima said as she entered the huge room.  “Shit, that thing you have there is a huge rainbow. You’re hella gay man, whoa.” Cosima was pointing to her glass windows. Rachel simply rolled her eyes not paying attention to the euphoric dreadlock girl.

Cosima ran to the huge bed and jumped on top of it. She was laughing and playing like a child. “I know doggie, Posh Spice prefers cats or something, she always acts like a complete bitch you know.”

“This is ridiculous, I’m sending you home.” Rachel was not going to deal with this mess. She was tired after managing important business, and besides she felt completely drained after she met that hideous punk rock grifter in the lobby. The way her hazel eyes locked with hers in a battle to see who held longer the stare. Rachel injecting her despise into her glare while the leather bitch looked at her with hatred and anger. She could nearly taste the desire to be strangled by that woman. However there was something else she felt in the pit of her stomach, the more she saw the insolence in that girl’s eyes the more she wanted to humiliate her, to make her pay.

“No no please wait. Man, let me stay, I promise I won't touch your beautiful rainbow and I don’t want to be alone. I’ll behave.” Suddenly she got all serious again when she remembered when she promised Delphine how she was going to behave, when in reality all she wanted to do was to kiss her madly.

“Fine, make yourself at home, I’ll go and take a bath you stay right there and don’t do anything more stupid, yes?” Rachel went to her bathroom and Cosima removed her red jacket and sat at the huge couch. She calmed herself, this time the puppies were all surrounding her, the pretty doggies licked her face and she laughed, they felt so soft, just like Delphine’s magical hair. It was ridiculous that everything that made her happy had to do with that woman, she really was a loser. The only person that she allowed herself to love betrayed her.

She looked at her left arm where the dandelion floated away, Delphine kissed it so softly, delicately, she closed her eyes and it was like she could almost feel her, the way her hands traced her waist, and how her lips moved over her skin, sweat and saliva, what a filthy combination. Cosima started to laugh again.

“Dude, I need another tat, something more meaningful.”

“You need to stop that.” Rachel was already done with her bath.

“Dude, is that a bruise?” Cosima bursted in laughter. Rachel clenched her jaw.

“Is that a broken heart?” Cosima stopped laughing right away. Rachel knew that was a low blow, but she couldn’t help being a bitch.

“Right, yeah dude, you win.” Cosima stood up, her head hung low, her heart completely destroyed.

“I love her. She doesn’t love me. She said it was fun. I can be fun. I just have to let her go.” Cosima approached Rachel and when she was close enough, kissed her. Rachel was caught off guard. However Rachel was lonely as well, two lonely girls sharing a kiss, a contact that felt satisfying and relieving, she could deal with that. Rachel pushed her to her bed and took her deeper, slowly allowing this illusion to last as much as possible. However Cosima laughed at the most inappropriate times. This was going to be very good or very weird, however, none cared about the now, Cosima just wanted to get rid of the pain, Rachel simply needed relief, and both could get what they wanted from one another without having feelings involved.

Cosima didn’t have a heart anymore, she had given it to a French woman who in return, crushed it between her hands.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go, hang in there.

When she opened her eyes her head was killing her, she sat on her bed and looked at the clock, it was already 10 am. “Merde.” She overslept but with reason, she drank wine last night to drown her sorrows and now her body was paying the price.

Delphine walked to her bathroom cabinet and popped up some pills for the headache and drank a glass of water. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and she definitely looked like crap; pale skin, bags under reddish eyes and blonde disheveled curls. Delphine took a cold shower to try to wake up her numb senses. Her skin felt raw but the depths of her soul was what hurt the most. It was like she suddenly had something stuck in her heart, like a thorn that she couldn’t pull out or she was going to bleed to death. _Cosima_. The memory burning her alive: her voice, her smile, and those hands moving like butterflies all around her tiny body. She missed her; the emptiness, the void she left was never going to heal and she knew that. Once she was done with the shower, she tried to dress up as best as she could, she still had things to do and looking like shit was not going to help, she took her phone from her night table and saw that she had a message from Cosima. She suspected that it was not a good idea to listen to it but she pressed the voice mail key anyways.

“ _Duuuuude your voice is so beautiful, shit Delphine there are so many puppies here! You should come and see it._ ” She could hear her laughing like crazy and a thump. In the distance she could still hear her voice.

“ _Hey come here boy, don’t run.” “Woah, doggie come back here man.”_ And then she heard a door shut; she was gone.

“Merde Cosima what the hell did you do?” Delphine was now worried for the girl, this was not her pot smoking Cosima, and she was high as fuck. She felt responsible, but she had no idea where to look for her and she was not going to call her home. With a deep sighed she accepted that there was nothing she could do for the girl right now. Instead of worrying she went to the kitchen to try to put some food in her stomach. She was feeling terrible but she needed to eat or at least try some food.

She was drinking her tea when a knock on the door stopped her from continuing her breakfast. She stood up and walked to the front door.

“Jennifer?” The swim coach was in her porch. Delphine opened the door to meet the teacher.

“Hey Delphine how are you? I was pretty worried you hadn’t come back to school and no one has any idea what’s with you.” The rosy cheeks, the smile, Jennifer was a great friend.

“Oh Jennifer please come in.” Delphine invited the teacher to take a seat at her living room; she offered tea and chatted with her.

“So what’s going on, you look kinda pale to me, are you okay?” Jennifer frowned.

“Oui, I’m just tired. I, um, resigned.” Delphine awaited for Jennifer’s reaction.

“What? Oh that was unexpected, do you mind telling me why?” Jennifer was now confused and curious.

“Oh it’s nothing to worry about, I got a scholarship at another university and they are offering me the PhD program as well. That is all.” Delphine noticed how Jennifer relaxed a bit.

“Oh I’m glad to hear that, you know after all those shitty rumors.”

“Rumors?” Delphine arched her eyebrows.

“Yeah, it’s nothing really but well you know, people say things and shit.”

“About what?” Delphine did not like that there were rumors concerning her or particularly if those rumors concerned Cosima.

“Well some said that you were kind of involving too much with Niehaus. And now that she is moving to Minnesota out of the blue before her graduation ceremony, well that has given more-“

“She is leaving!?” She interrupted, Delphine had no idea that Cosima was leaving San Francisco. There was no need to do that, she was the one who was leaving. But it seems that she was disappearing as well.

“I mean, that is surprising. Niehaus is an excellent student, why her parents would take her away?” Delphine had to wonder and since Jennifer seemed to be more acquainted with Cosima’s situation she dared to ask.

“As far as I heard she already got enough credits to graduate. According to what they said in the principal’s office she is enrolling in some University there.”

“Well, I’m glad she is moving ahead with her goals.” Delphine at least hoped it was true.

“Yes, and don’t worry about those rumors, I’m glad that you’re going to continue your studies as well Delphine.” Jennifer smiled genuinely, she was a person filled with life and love, such a caring individual.

“Merci Jennifer. I am glad I get to know you.” Delphine offered her hand to the teacher.

“Same here French.” She shook her hand as well with a bittersweet smile.

“I’m going to miss you and the kids but my future awaits. I’m leaving soon and I need to go pack my things so…”

“Oh right, I won’t bother you any more then. Have a safe trip Delphine and good luck.” Jennifer hugged her, she felt her insides melt; she had no idea how much she needed a hug, so she leaned in on the smaller teacher and let her embrace her. Delphine’s eyes got teary but not because of what Jennifer assumed was their goodbye, simply she was too hurt, too sad and into pieces, but she let the teacher think that it was just a sad farewell between them that was affecting her.

She waited until the coach left her home to pack her things. She had a lot of work ahead of her, she already had paid the rent up until the end of the month so she was not going to have trouble with the landlord. She went to her room and emptied all her cabinets and closet. After she had packed a couple of things she decided it was time to take a break and instead go meet Rachel to take the documents that accredited her as a student of the Cambridge University.

_______

She woke up really calmed and relaxed, after tripping the day before she expected to be a bit out of control, yet here she was in a bed too big for her and cold. _Shit_. Now she remembered, _Posh Spice_ , she sat trying to pull the bed covers protectively around her naked body as much as she could. That had nothing to do with love, she could tell the difference so clearly now, Rachel Duncan was a fucking cold snake who got off using her. Although Cosima also used the Brit for her own purposes, the difference was that she felt terrible for this, Rachel felt nothing. She squinted her eyes looking for her glasses but they were not visible, neither her clothes. She stood up from bed and walked to the shower instead, she needed to wake up and be at the top of her sass game just in case that bitch came with another of her games.

The cold water felt fresh against her skin, the perfume and creams in the bathroom showed the fancy tastes of Rachel Duncan, no wonder she could pay such expensive room for such a long time. She washed her body with the soap trying to erase with the bar Rachel’s scent over her, scrubbing her skin as hard as she could. Trying to erase the stupidity of her impulsive behavior. Rachel Duncan was a monster in bed, not like her sweet- _STOP!_ Cosima had to stop thinking of Delphine like that, Delphine was like Rachel, both used her; the only difference betweenboth was that one of them was honest with her. Once she was done with her shower, she rolled a towel around her body and got out intending to ask Rachel were the hell where her things, when she heard Posh Spice on the other side of the room.

“As you can see everything is setup for you, no need to worry once we get to Cambridge you will continue with your studies and of course,  work at the Dyad.”

_She probably is talking on her cell, I don’t think I might interrupt something important so I’ll go out and ask about my things._

Except that Rachel was not talking on the phone, she was talking with-

“Delphine.” Cosima was paralyzed; this was not expected at all.

“Good, you’re awake. I assume you’re looking for your clothes, yes?” Rachel looked at her in a way that felt so wrong, and then there was Delphine, who was silent, avoiding looking at her. Cosima never felt more naked in her life, so vulnerable. She pressed tighter the towel around her body. But she wasn’t going to crumble if that was what Posh Spice was waiting for.

“Yeah, but if you’re busy I can just come back later.” Cosima said as cool and confident as she could.

“No need, there are right on top of that table.” Rachel pointed to the table on her left. Cosima walked as fast as she could, she put on her glasses and when she looked at Delphine, she noticed how different she was; the shadows under her eyes were evidence of lack of sleep and she looked really pale. Cosima noticed she kept staring at her torment like a fool, instead she took her things and walked back to the room to get dress.

Right before she left she simply said “Thanks.” Cosima got back into the bedroom and closed the door. She took a deep breath and tried to not freak out. Her heart was beating so fast, she hated that her body reacted instantly to the presence of Delphine Cormier. She was leaning on the door; therefore she was able to hear what Delphine discussed with Rachel.

“Where were we? Ah yes, here you go Ms. Cormier, as you can see all papers are in order just sign here and here and when we get to Cambridge, the university authorities will be ready to welcome you.”

“Very well. If that is all?” Delphine’s voice was so dry, lacking that usual spark and melody in her voice.

“Yes, and don’t worry about the plane tickets. You are traveling in my private plane.” After a couple of minutes she heard the door shut, which was a sign that Delphine was gone. Cosima squeezed her eyes as hard as possible trying to compose herself, Rachel couldn’t see her broke, she was not going to allow it.

Cosima got dress and put on her red jacket, she better get back home and see what was going to happen now. Delphine was leaving with Rachel to England, _what the fuck is going on?_

The dreadlock girl finish getting herself ready, she exited the bedroom and walked to where Rachel was now reviewing some documents.

“What was all that?” Cosima tilted her head staring at Rachel, trying to understand what was planning Posh Spice.

“That is none of your business Cosima, but since I am in such a good mood I’m going back to England with your ex-lover of course, she is moving on with her career.” Rachel turned to look at her and gave her that venomous smile of her.

“So I’m never going to see you ever again, those are great news indeed.” Cosima smiled in return, a hard sarcastic smile.

A knock on the door interrupted the battle of sass between the girls, Rachel went to open the door assuming it was the French.

“Bloody hell, are you fucking serious?” Sarah was on the door.

“And what brings _you_ here?” Rachel’s face was serious now.

“Hey, Sarah what’s up.” Cosima quickly went to the door.

“You left this in our room” Sarah handed Cosima her cell phone. “So I went and asked security because Helena had no clue if you were still around, the man checking the surveillance footage told us you entered here.”

“Yeah yeah sorry about that, I was a bit, um, far away. Thanks dude.” Cosima grabbed the phone and thanked Sarah, however, Sarah did not leave immediately, she crossed looks with Rachel.

“Not one to judge but maybe you want to rethink your life choices Cosima, this posh bitch will bring nothing good.” Sarah said right in her face.

“Insolent bitch!” Rachel spatted. “Up yours.”  and then Sarah left.

“Well shit, so you two met.” Rachel turned to stare at Cosima in that frivolous way of hers. “Oh! She is the one that kicked your ass or whatever.” Rachel smiled coldly taking the verbal hit, however her response was intended to kill, “That lowlife grifter it’s the least of your worries Cosima, think of the mess you made. At least Delphine had the wise decision to be back with Aldous.” Rachel returned to her desk waiting the reaction of her guest.

Cosima stood there trying to ignore what Posh just said, but her damn curiosity had to come out at the worst moments.

“Aldous? Like Aldous Leekie, Principal Aldous Leekie?.” Cosima asked full of fear. Her voice uncertain, unsure of what Rachel was going to say.

“Who else if not him?” Rachel opened her laptop and arched her eyebrow looking at Cosima with the knowledge that she delivered the final blow.

She couldn’t say anything, she was shocked, she had not expected that in a million years.

_Delphine and Leekie_

_Delphine and Leekie_

_Delphine and Leekie_

“Oh god.” Cosima felt sick to her stomach.

“Oh, you didn’t know. Sorry.” Rachel stated.

Cosima was done with Posh Spice, she was going back home.

“Yeah, whatever.” She really hoped this was the last time she saw Posh Spice in her life, Cosima grabbed her few things and stormed out of the room. She felt so disgusted, but she knew Rachel could have lied as well, however there was a voice in the back of her head telling her to let go, but she couldn’t. She had to know for sure.

________

Delphine went back home to finish packing her things, but her mind was on Cosima, naked, in Rachel’s room.

She was hurting, she had no right to feel like this, jealous, after what she did but this hurt like a bitch. Delphine knew that they spent the night together and just the thought of her girl sleeping with someone else made her skin cringe. Rachel Duncan was the ice to Cosima’s fire.

 _She is not your girl Delphine, not anymore_.

She sighed, her hands circling her temples, trying to ease the pounding of her head, she was still hungover and now with these images in her head Delphine was going to have a crappy day. She kept packing her things and putting all the other stuff that she really didn't need in boxes. Once she was done after several hours with the packing she sat at her desk to check her emails and write her mother that she was moving to Cambridge. She preferred to keep the reasons of the change a secret. No need to explain the details to her mother, she even might like that she is going to be back in Europe. She could only hope.

When she finished writing the e-mail to her mother she went to the received folder; there it was, geekmonkey@gmail.com, she clicked the message and when she saw the binary she smiled. The memories she had with Cosima were few but precious, why this had to be like this? why everything had to go to hell? If only she had done things like she was supposed to, if only she had waited, if only, _if only_...

A knock on the door brought her back to the real world.

“One moment.” Delphine announced while she closed the lid of her laptop. She walked to the door and when she opened, there she was, Cosima.

“Cosima, what are you-”

“You and Leekie. Is it true!?” Cosima demanded, her hazel ayes filled with fury.

“Pardon?” Delphine was surprised, how did she knew about it, she had no idea but she had to put a stop to this. “I don’t think that is your business, Cosima.”

“So it’s true! you and Principal Leekie, shit. You’re such a whore!” Cosima growled. Her expression of fury, her hands fisted, she had so much anger.

SLAP

Delphine hit her hard; she was not going to allow this insult, not even from Cosima who had no right to come to her place and call her names. “That doesn’t concern you, but know that while you and I were together I was done with him as I am now done with you; go home Cosima.” Delphine saw the girl, she knew her so well, Cosima wanted to be strong, but the way her lip trembled gave her away, the pain, the hurt, the betrayal once again, fooled by love. Cosima nodded in defeat, in acceptance that there was nothing left, nothing else to be done, nothing to salvage from this relationship that once meant the world to her, to both; she tensed her jaw, biting her tongue swallowing her pride and walked away, this time forever.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you and a million times thank you. I can't describe how much gratittude I feel for each one of you who took the time to check out this story, who commented and recommended this fic. Thanks a lot. This is one of the hardest fics I have ever written and I am glad that you enjoyed it and felt the sadness and happiness of the characters. It was truly an honor to have so many people sending me messages and motivating me, those messages made each one of my days during this journey with you.
> 
> Of course I can't post this shit without giving the proper acknowledgement to my beta Glynn, this lil shit was with me since the beginning and she has helped me a lot, so thank you asshole. ILY.
> 
> P.S: I have a small announcement for you on Monday via tumblr so stay tuned.

The walk home felt eternal. Her heart was nowhere to be found, and it was completely shattered.

Cosima Niehaus, 18 years old, the stupidest girl alive. That was her. How ironic was that she was an A student, but in real life she was just a total failure.

She was numb; her eyes it seemed didn’t have more tears to shed. Her body felt heavy, each step closer to home felt like a step closer to oblivion.

When Cosima finally reached her house, she opened the door to find her mother at the kitchen table.

“Oh god, Cosima!” Her mother ran towards her and hugged her tightly.

“I was so worried honey.” Her mother was teary. At least Cosima could see now how much her mother cared now that everything was shit.

“I wanna go to my room Mom, please.” Cosima stepped away from her mother, but before she could leave the room her mother stopped her.

“I understand you want space Cosima, but I need you to pack your things. You’re moving to Minnesota tomorrow morning. We have started all the paperwork to enroll you at the University of Minnesota to the program of your choice. You already have a place to stay, so you won’t have to worry about anything at all honey.”

“Cool.” Cosima said flatly, no inflection showing in her voice. She continued her path up to her room like a zombie. She didn’t care where she went; nothing could erase what she felt deep inside. She dropped her bag on the floor and let her body fall on the bed, and she stared at the ceiling for a while. Cosima closed her eyes, and all she could hear was her voice, that sweet accent, Delphine’s long fingers moving over stomach; she opened her eyes again, this was going to be a torture if every time she closed her eyes the first thing that she saw was that woman. The memories she had were too many, too precious, and too painful. How she was going to erase what had gone on these last few months?

 _Time_ her logic said.

Her heart? _We’re fucked_.

Cosima stood up from the bed and headed to her desk, turned on her laptop and decided to write to Scott a farewell message. He at least deserved to know that she wasn’t going back to school and that she was now moving to Minnesota. She could always count on Scott, be it WoW night raids, or supporting her with homework, he was really a good friend. She wrote a short message making sure to not make it worrisome, clicked enter and sent the email.

“Shit, don’t do it idiot.” But her hand moved the mouse and double-clicked the folder labeled _Cophine_ on her desktop. Photo after photo of Cosima and Delphine: selfies, kissing, hugging, eating, dorking out, sleeping Delphine, puppy Delphine scrolled by; she had hundreds of pictures. She leaned on the desk and cradled her head between her hands, and the tears started to run again. And here she had thought she didn’t have any more in her. The rage boiled inside, and with her hand she swiped everything on top of her desk off onto the floor, she removed the tears with the back of her hand and after a deep breath she clicked _del_. “Yeah, delete.” And she did the same with any remaining file she had related to Delphine Cormier. If she was going to move to somewhere new, she was going to start anew.

Cosima started to pack her things, she didn’t have much time. After all, her mother had told her not too long ago that her father was dropping her at the airport tomorrow to take her flight to Minnesota. Everything was ready for her, she already had a flat and all expenses were paid. _Rachel_ , she assumed. She realized that she was simply a piece in this massive chess game Rachel Duncan played. Strategy was her game, and she had played well. After several hours all her important things were packed, and not a single remnant of Delphine Cormier was left. Everything was stored in her mind and soul, which was going to be the hardest to let go. She had loved and she had lost, however she was not going to apologize for her heart. That was simply who she was.

Once she was done she thought about what she was going to do now, she didn’t want to talk to anyone; she looked casually at her dandelion. The joy it represented, and the dreams she chased. Now what she needed was a clean slate, a renewal, balance, beauty, consistency, perfection, _yes, 1.6180339…_

_The golden mean…a Nautilus._

That was what she was going to do; she was getting a new tattoo.

“This looks rad, thanks man.” Cosima looked at her right arm, the Nautilus shell beautifully done on her wrist. After she left the tattoo shop she walked around San Francisco wistfully. She needed to take one last look at the place where she had grown up. She was going to go away from her home; from her people because she had done something seriously stupid. Cosima had no idea if she ever was going to love someone again as much, as deeply as she loved Delphine, still loved. Right now everything felt empty without the blonde by her side, and all the beautiful things that she and Delphine shared. How she pushed her to be better, to study hard to be successful. At least she hoped none of that was a lie. She was still baffled that Delphine denied her feelings, she simply dismissed what they had; how she could say it meant nothing, nothing at all when for Cosima it was everything. She understood that she was in serious danger to be sent to jail and that could freaked out anyone but still, to say she was done with her, like a toy that she got bored of using. That felt like she was stabbed and don’t even bring up Leekie, that was a serious case of jealousy and desire to murder.

She took a deep breath. She had to set all her memories on fire and _let go_. Delphine was a coward, she was not willing to fight for them. It was very simple, no need to think too much on this situation, she gave up on them. Cosima went to Haight Street to get her stash before leaving; she was not sure where in Minnesota she could get pot so just in case she was buying a large supply. Once she was done with her shopping, she went for a walk on the beach instead of going home. She needed to feel the sand on her feet and the sound of the sea to say goodbye.

______

Delphine needed to do this, there was no going back now, she couldn’t be a coward, which would mean that all the things she said to Cosima were for nothing. She left already the place she used to call home while she was in the city and now was staying at a hotel ready to take tomorrow’s evening flight to London with Rachel Duncan. She had spent the day reading about her new college and all the opportunities that were opening for her in the Dyad Institute, even though the reason for all of this was that she had messed up. What would have happened if they had not been caught? Would Cosima have really chosen to stay? Delphine had so many questions that weren’t going to be answered.

Her phone rang, when she checked the screen for some reason it disappointed her that it wasn’t Cosima.

“Alló?”

“Oh mon Dieu, c’est vous!” Delphine was not expecting this call, not from the US anyway.

“Oui ça va, comment allez vous?” Delphine could feel her body relaxing a bit now; there was no better feeling in the world than hearing a friendly voice again.

“Vraiment? Non, je pars à Londres. Mais je suis si heureux de vous entendre copain.” She made her laugh as always.

“Bien, Je vais vous écrire un email, oui, vous aussi Danielle.” She ended the call. Funny thing that her best friend was now in the US when she was parting for England tomorrow, after being apart many years, each one working hard to graduate from their respective college programs, they exchanged emails and skyped when they could. If there was one person in the world whom she could confide this mess was her. But that was for another time, she had something very important to do.

Delphine ate a bit because even though she was nervous as hell, she needed to eat or else she was going to faint. Once she brushed her teeth she fixed her hair and dressed as best as she could, she was not going to cause a good impression but still, she had to look decent.

She drove for awhile. It was a beautiful day with the sun setting gloriously on the horizon and in that moment she wished she could be with Cosima, holding hands, doing the silliest of things, eating truffles, whatever would have sufficed for Delphine. The memories all brought a smile to her face. That girl meant the world to her and that was her sole reason for doing this. Once she was at her destiny she parked the car and walked straight to the door. She took a deep breath, knocked and waited.

“Yes?” A woman probably on her forties opened the door.

“Mrs. Niehaus?”Her voice almost cracked, she had never been so nervous in her life.

“Yes, who are you?” The woman tilted her head just like her daughter.

“I’m, I’m, um, Delphine Cormier and we need to talk, please.” The face of the woman changed immediately to one of anger.

“You!? How dare you come to my house after what you did!” She was going to close the door but Delphine stopped her.

“Please ma’am, I need to talk with you, to explain and I’ll leave. Listen to me, please.” Delphine begged. “I won’t take much more of your time, I promise Mrs. Niehaus.”

The woman exhaled hard, “Be quick Ms. Cormier, I don’t want my daughter to see you here.” The woman let her in, but she moved a couple of feet away and crossed her arms, she didn’t invite her to seat since this was going to be fast. Delphine had a few minutes so she had to be brief and to the point.

“I am very sorry for how this happened, I am truly sorry for the damage I might have caused to you and your family but know this ma’am, I’m not sorry for loving your daughter, it was stupid of my part for laying eyes on her but I don’t regret caring for her; you have no idea how much love she needed.”

“Don’t tell me what my daughter needs-“ Mrs. Niehaus spat, but Delphine kept going.

“You barely know her ma’am! You have no clue how lonely she was, she is more than brains, if only you took the time to see her.” Delphine was getting out of her chest all the things she wanted to say for a long long time.

“You have some balls coming here Ms. Cormier.” Mrs. Niehaus tightened her fists in anger, nonetheless Delphine knew that her words were reaching her, she was still listening and not kicking her ass out the front door.

“This is not arrogance Mrs. Niehaus, this is me saying what your daughter needs, what she wants from you. And don’t worry ma’am, I’m leaving the country tomorrow so you rest assured that you won’t see me again. I never meant any harm to Cosima; I do love her and because I love her is that I’m letting her go, not because I’m afraid to go to jail or of ruining my career. We both sold our souls to Rachel Duncan ma’am, that is the only reason this is not of public knowledge. However know that the price I pay means nothing when compared to how much I care for your daughter. This is my sacrifice and my penitence is to be away from her, you have my word.” Delphine had to make sure that this was clear to this woman, Cosima needed that attention from her parents, she needed to be more than the clever girl and Delphine knew all of this because she knew her heart, she knew her soul.

“I don’t care how remorseful you are Ms. Cormier, what you did was _wrong_. My daughter will start a new life away from this place. Away from your memories together.” Mrs. Niehaus remarked, her eyes digging holes into the French.

“That’s all I came here for Mrs. Niehaus. I’m going now, don’t forget that Cosima needs you and I hope that one day you can forgive me for loving her as much as I do. I hurt her for her own sake ma’am, so forgive me for that as well and maybe she will forgive me one day too.” Delphine turned away before she ended up crying in front of that woman, she got out of the Niehaus household fast and once inside the privacy of her car she cried before going back to her hotel.

______

Cosima went back home a couple of hours later, the walk on the beach soothed her mind, yet nothing could fix the turmoil she had in her heart. She found her mother in the couch, she was kind of pensive.

Cosima walked towards her mother, “Mom? You okay?”

Her mother looked at her, really looked at her, like she was seeing her daughter for the first time ever “I know I haven’t been a good mother Cosima, I assumed that you could take care of everything and that was my mistake. I am very sorry honey, know that you don’t have to deal with this alone.”

Cosima frowned, she was not used to getting attention from her mom and dad but now it was weird. “Um, okay.” Cosima had no clue what else to say. They could talk easily about science but this? Parent-child relationship? That required a lot of work.

“Did you love her?” her mother asked suddenly, paying close attention to her daughter’s body language.

Cosima couldn’t respond, the words were stuck in her throat, everything hurt inside of her, she was just an empty vessel of organs and tissues; instead she nodded.

Her mother sighed, “Come here honey.” Her mother opened up her arms to let her daughter come to meet her embrace. Cosima let her mother cradled her, and only then she broke. “She never loved me mom!” her voice muffled by the sound of her sobs “she didn’t care that I had feelings for her, true feelings, this hurts so much…” Cosima just cried and cried until she fell asleep in her mother’s arms.

And only then Mrs. Niehaus understood Delphine Cormier words, how could she not noticed her daughter’s in love face before, everything made sense now, that happiness she had was because of this and now her daughter was heartbroken, her eyes stopped glowing, her smile was gone. _A sacrifice,_ Ms. Cormier had said. She was going to make sure that her daughter really had the future she deserved; at least she could do that and maybe time could heal her again.

 

The next morning Cosima woke up on the couch, the crying session last night ended being cathartic for her, she felt a bit light right now. She went up to take a shower and get ready; it was time to go away, to move on with her life, to fulfill her dreams. Once she was ready she ate breakfast with her parents and talked about the usual, however her mom was really trying to get to know her since the questions that were aimed at her were more of the personal type than just random things. At least something good came out from this.

“Honey, as soon as you land please call me okay?” Her mother hugged her hard.

“Yeah yeah mom, chill.” She gave her a reassuring smile. Her mother escorted her to the exit while her father put her bags in the trunk of the car. Cosima took a deep breath trying to memorize the beauty surrounding her, the scent of the air, the trees, everything that was home.

“Alright kiddo, we’re ready, let’s go.” Her dad turned on the engine and waited for her.

Cosima took the passenger seat and waved at her mother. She put on her headphones and while her dad drove away she took a last glance at her mom and her home when she noticed the blonde standing near a tree in the distance just staring back at her, _Delphine_ , she didn’t break contact until she was far away to see her.

Her eyes watered a bit, yet she wasn’t going to cry, she was done crying, she was moving on with her life. She was going to be successful, right like she wanted. However, she knew deep down that she was not going to love again the way she loved Delphine Cormier. In the end, she was always going to be the thorn that hurt the most to her.


End file.
